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I know of a lady who is single and has no children. The rest of her family lives overseas. She sold up her home and moved into a nursing home before her health condition worsens. Contact a hospital social worker. They should be able to help you get started with the procedures.
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My first recommendation is to engage a care manager. They will be your "professional daughter" or "professional son."

Care managers can be expensive, though. Usually they work on an hourly basis, and if everything is going well and you don't need them very much, it's not that expensive. When you're in trouble, they're invaluable. I think you should try to find a way to afford it.

If that's still not possible, next I would suggest a cooperative. Check out "The Village Cooperative." It's a cooperative model for senior living - everyone helps everyone else (theoretically, at least - I don't have personal experience).

Another though is a continuing care retirement community, which is a whole-life care model. Once you buy in, they agree to take care of you for the rest of your life, even if you run out of money. There are exceptions, of course, so be sure to read the fine print. However, they tend to be very expensive to buy in.

The final advice I have is to take action sooner rather than later.

It'll be much more difficult to make good decisions if you are in poor health or if you have memory problems. If you wait until a crisis occurs, you may be sent to a community by a someone you don't know and who doesn't know you (e.g. a hospital social worker). Furthermore, if you're out of money by then, you won't get the nicest place in town.
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polarbear Jun 2019
HI Lauren - regarding care manager, I heard it is very useful to engage their services. But how do you go about finding a good one? Do they work for an agency? Law firm?
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ArtistDaughter- thank you for sharing more details about your care village plan. With regards to the spouses who aren't on board, do you know what their objections are? Seems like some kind of legal agreement should be signed by all parties so expectations are clear.
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Find out all the info you can about what services are offered in that nearby town. Consider moving. Be willing to sit down with your son to discuss your future and all the options that are available.
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If your income is limited you may be eligible for extra help, maybe in the form of Medicaid on top of your medicare. You should definitely call your state's Area Agency on Aging to talk to a case manager. They can also point you to help that may be available in your region besides Medicaid.

For example, in my state, Connecticut, there is a program called Connecticut Home Care Program for Elders. In my town there is a private fund managed by Area Agency on Aging that gives small grants to elders who have a need. In the case of my mother, I was able to buy her a transport wheelchair because of this fund.

Does you state have "211?" If you call that number you can often get answers about programs in your town / state as well.
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rusti40 Jun 2019
Thank you for your suggestions. I did call my local Area on Aging Agency. They are “under construction” and their phone number is not answering. So I guess I need to be patient.

Yes, I have a very limited income. So, I will either need assistance in 6 more years when my savings are depleted and/or take a home equity line of credit. I do not want to do this but I will have no other means.

It mainly is the feeling of being isolated and not being able to do some of the things necessary to keep up a home. I cannot move. It would not solve anything as I would still have to drive within my town. I am at a crossroads in my life.
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Rusti, even if they are building a fancy-pants new website and for some reason you're being given the wrong phone number, the actual human beings who staff the Area Agency organisation are still out there somewhere!

I don't know if this would help, but it's quite possible that your GP or PCP would have a different contact number for them. Call their office and ask, it can't hurt. Or, do you have any kind of local phone directory? - they're often useful sources of information.
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