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My Mom was recently admitted to a skilled nursing facility but wants to go back to her home where she lived for over 50 years. She is very strong willed and I fear that if I take her to her home and she gets inside I will not be able to get her out of there to go back to the nursing home to get her meds. I will probably sell her house and belongings in the spring so she can afford skilled care at the nursing home. She is getting hateful and experiencing anxiety over this issue. Please help me.

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Strong willed or not, does she have capacity? If not, and you are operating with POA, you make the decisions and it would be most unwise to backtrack - you really won't be doing her any favours, just exacerbating and prolonging her homesickness.

If she does have capacity, she decides where she lives. But what she cannot do is order you around: you down tools and refuse to move her, basing your refusal on the reasons why she was admitted to this facility in the first place. If she gets to the point of being abusive to you, then you detach and allow the staff to take over until she has had a chance to adjust to her new environment. It is a miserable situation for her so don't be slow to sympathise, but there's a big difference between sympathising with a sad predicament and enabling a bad idea.

Of course, if she is able to make alternative arrangements for herself, under her own steam, then good luck to her! - but you can almost certainly believe it when you see it.
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Do NOT take your mother home. Do NOT be a victim.

I was a victim for several years and ended up with herniated discs, scoliosis and neurofibromas in my spine. My left foot is paralysed and getting more paralysed by the day - ditto for my lower left calf.

It is so wrong when children have to lay down their lives for their elderly parents.
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Definitely get her started on anti-anxiety meds. We had to add an antidepressant as well. NEVER take them back home "to get a few things" OMG sis did that. Mom cried and obsessed for days. Just say "NO" calmly but firmly. Then change the subject. Dementia is easily redirected, but offering rational reasons, safety concerns does NOT work. Redirect.
Mom even threatened to call a cab to take her home. That's when we went for Guardianship; the Judge immediately agreed.
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If she is experiencing anxiety and anger, you might consider talking to a geriatric psychiatrist about antidepressant meds.
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If your mom needs skilled nursing, she does NOT need to go back home, as sad as that may be for her. You're there to keep her safe and taking her back home will not accomplish that. You're her advocate and you have to do the right thing for her health, which may not be something she wants to do. So hold strong and leave her where she is and needs to be. Hugs to you...I know this is hard.
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As I learned today, "don't volunteer to be her victim" by getting her out of the nursing home.
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