What do I do now that my caregiving days are over?

And JaneCA, remember that what you did is one of the hardest things anyone can do. Think of what's required - determination, responsibility, efficiency, the ability to learn new skills and make decisions under pressure, self-sacrifice, patience and love. And lots of energy! You have it!! Remember how strong you are, what a good thing you did and how your loved ones would want you to have a life and be happy. It will happen.

You have some options since you have some experience under your belt. What you can do now is called get a job and save up some money and put yourself through school. You can go to school and get special training to do caregiving for a living. Another thing you can do is take nursing school to become a nurse or maybe even a doctor. Take the experience you have with you and apply it somewhere else. You must do something to support yourself, rent's not free, nor is it cheap.

Let it all hang out. Then, join a group which deals with issues such as Griefshare, which I joined right after my mother died. I was in two different groups, a morning group which had older people, and then I changed to an early evening group at a different church which had older as well as younger people plus a golden retriever dog to play with. I felt right at home with the second group.

JaneCA, so sorry for your losses. Hugs to you for all you did and gave. I know that question and the lost feeling that goes with it. Here are some things that helped/seem to be helping me: Hospice counseling, talking with easy-going friends and some relatives, getting away from the "scene" for a while if possible, walking,exercising, cleaning and organizing - I try to do one "project" a day, praying, a little socializing - only if you feel like it. There will be a lot of soul searching. In time things will become clear I think. Bless you.

You are obviously a loving, nurturing person who loves to give and care for others. Take good care of yourself as others here have said but you may find it helpful to also do something that gives an outlet to that beautiful gift of yours. Volunteer somewhere--animal shelter, hospice program, soup kitchen, whatever calls you--so that all those energies have a creative outlet. This is not to suggest you *should* find such an outlet, as you have more than earned the right to just take the best care of yourself now and do exactly what nurtures you. It is just to suggest that if caregiving is fulfilling to you, there is no shortage of opportunities and no shortage of beings who will benefit from your skills.

Yes, you need time to grieve and you certainly are to be commended for all your caregiving years. Thank you and God Bless You!

I have been wondering what I can do when my Dad passes. I have to agree with all the answers. I am grateful for the blessing of help both my parents and now just my Dad will Dementia. God bless you in all that you do, I feel confident that you will find the best way to go on with what is best for you.

Dear Jane.. hugs to you.. i too, lost my dearest mum, after looking after her for close to 10 years . She was 94 but still very dear yo me.First 4 months was tough .. i would have feelings of remorse n lots of what ifs..n refused to join any activities..God is good, He sent a pastor n delivered words that i must not live in regrets but move on with my life. I still have moments of missing her but have started joining church activities n cooking n walking. Remembered the good times n strive to live well each day, that would be how your dad wanted u to do for yourself. Lots of love from me..n remember, Jesus loves you...

what helped me was to try to do something (even if a little thing like going to the post office) every day. It starts to restore some normalcy to your life. Your friends will understand when you re connect with them. Try a counseling agency in your area...hospice was a good idea. Many places have groups that deal with certain losses-child, spouse, parent. It helps to listen to others who have been thru the same thing--you realize your feelings are valid. And they can help you by giving examples of ways they coped with their losses. It takes time but there is no "timetable". Be kind to yourself..

You have both my sympathy and understanding. I have taken care of both my terminally ill mom and now my father, who has dementia for 14 years now. Quit a startup bought by Cisco, gave up a company I started and still no end in sight. I have started a caregiving company, but have a new vision. Do something.

Contact Hospice. they have bereavement groups and counselors.
If you belong to a church see if they have a bereavement group.
Take time for yourself.
If you found care giving rewarding is is something that you might want to do either as a volunteer with Hospice, you can go into a patients home and relieve the caregiver for a few hours so they can run to the store or just take a break. Or as a paid position there are MANY people looking for experienced caregivers and privately you could make $15.00 to 20.00 an hour.
In the mean time plan a vacation. Get away, take a cruise or get into the car and point it in any direction and drive. You have earned it.

Jane I am very sorry for Your great loss. Give Yourself all the time You kneed to grieve the Loss of Your Father. There is no time limit since We are all different, some recover much faster than others. The main thing to do when You feel ready is to come out and meet People, get involved. Join a group. I lost My beautiful Mother last June, and some months later I joined a visit the Elderly Group in My area. I also joined the Legion of Mary, and this has been great for Me. When You feel strong and ready again for work consider becoming a Caregiver, as You have a wealth of experience.

Grieving is a terrible, gut wrenching process, one that only lessens over a long, long time--and in some cases, years. But don't skip it, because it will come back to bite you in so many ways. As an owner of a professional caregiving business, you have a ton of skills. One option might be for you to go back to school and get a degree in geriatrics of some type. You could go to work in a well-run care giving business, in a management position.
You need to grieve and do stuff that you never could do before and then you need to find something to do that makes you feel useful. This may sound like 1-2-3 formula, but it is not. I know that personally as I have been grieving for my father for over 30 years, who died while I was divorcing my "looks good on paper" husband.
Good luck and check in with us as you move on.

Jane- you have my heartfelt condolences. My mentally ill mom passed 2 weeks ago. I cared for her in one way or another almost my entire life. This is a very sad time for both of us. Read what you can about grieving and allow yourself the time to grieve. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Therapy/counseling can be very helpful. It has been for me. If you need someone to talk to this group is so good. With you in spirit at this very sad time. ❤️

Huge hugs to you. And hugs again.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Are there people around to console you?

Not in the same way, but I realised too that I had spent all of my adult life taking care of other people. Suddenly not being responsible for another person's welfare explodes a massive hole in your life, and it's really, really hard. You're in free fall, just when grief and exhaustion make you least able to cope with it.

Be kind to yourself, give yourself time, and then when you're ready look around you and see. You don't have to find one big thing to do, and you almost certainly won't find anything that seems important enough to fill the vacuum - but that doesn't mean that nothing is worthwhile. Look for little things that are useful or fun in some way, for yourself or others, and gradually get used to having the freedom to please yourself.

Don't expect too much too fast; but maybe mark a couple of milestones in your calendar - one month, six months, a year and so on - and if you find yourself struggling more than you think is proportionate, get help, don't go under.

Please do keep coming back and let us know how you're feeling. More hugs.

Certainly take time to reflect and mourn. If you need help, find a local group that explores these issues. Then take a walk and relax. Take yourself out for a treat. Read a book. Find a group to join. Explore a hobby. You have done a good job.

First, take time to mourn. Slowly you will recall friends you want to contact again and places, groups and events you've always wanted to learn more about. Stay open to new experiences.

jane,
youll have a lot of time for yourself now and you no doubt deserve it . do something you used to love . for me it was my canning hobby . drinking everclear and chopping tomatoes --
man , thats livin ..