Your profile says that your mom is only 66 years old. That's awful young to be having incontinence issues, and mobility issues. And the fact that you have your 4 children living in the "biohazard" along with yourself and your "man" tells me that mom has got to go. If she can't care for herself, then she can move into an assisted living facility, using her money of course. And if money is an issue she will have to apply for Medicaid and look for a facility that accepts that. 6 years is an awful long time to be mourning her husband. It has to be more than that. Has she been diagnosed with depression, and is she on any kind of antidepressants? If not, make sure she gets in to see her doctor so that issue can be addressed. You now have to do what's best for you and your children, and if that means mom has to leave then so be it. No child should be raised in that kind of filth.
It is possible she has more than depression...she could be sliding into dementia. She would not really be able to communicate this to you (or want to) and she may no longer be able to help herself. Be merciful and patient, as you probably already have been. She needs a diagnosis to discount other causes for her behavior, like a UTI, thyroid, etc. You have the option to take her to Urgent Care or the ER. If she goes to the ER (and you do not have PoA) make sure you let the admin know she doesn't have any care at home and that she would be an "unsafe discharge", This way the hospital social workers will hopefully get involved. If she is diagnosed with dementia, they will find placement for her. She would need to become a ward of the county (if no one is her PoA), and they will manage all her medical and financial affairs, and take control of her accounts. Family will no longer have any insight or ability to make decisions on her behalf. But she will be cared for. Just so you know.
You need to call APS or 911 and get her admitted to a psychiatric facility.
This behavior is so unacceptable when living in someone else's house.
If she was living alone APS would intervene for self neglect. You don't want them saying you are negligent in her care, so call and ask for help before someone else does.
If she just wants to give up and die, well, that is her choice but, NOT in front of your children.
Is her depression treated? With therapy, exercise & medication? Is her diabetes well controlled?
Has there been a recent checkup on her mental & physical health?
If not, what are the barriers stoping this?
Have you discussed this issue, the mess, your concerns with her?
What does she say?
If she can't care for herself, then she can move into an assisted living facility, using her money of course. And if money is an issue she will have to apply for Medicaid and look for a facility that accepts that.
6 years is an awful long time to be mourning her husband. It has to be more than that. Has she been diagnosed with depression, and is she on any kind of antidepressants? If not, make sure she gets in to see her doctor so that issue can be addressed.
You now have to do what's best for you and your children, and if that means mom has to leave then so be it. No child should be raised in that kind of filth.
This behavior is so unacceptable when living in someone else's house.
If she was living alone APS would intervene for self neglect. You don't want them saying you are negligent in her care, so call and ask for help before someone else does.
If she just wants to give up and die, well, that is her choice but, NOT in front of your children.