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Just a P.S. to my new post.


Do I call the police ? Hedie Death by Cop. I know that. Do I lock myself in a room and let him get it all out about how he feels or drive away just what. Can I have some experiences of combative, mean, and nasty Dementia patients and what did you do ? Thank you

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Sorry about the posting error. I will let everyone know about the meeting with his memory specialist tonight. He is there to answer questions for Caregivers. Thank you all.
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Tara, posted the following on the other thread from today too. Whgen you want to add something to a post it would give evrybody more complete info if you comment on your own post. And it would be kept on the top of the list.


Tara, posted the following on the other thread from today too.

Tara, so he is bad again. He was ok for awhile? Are guns still in the house? Is he an alcoholic? Is that the elephant in the room nobody is talking about. I was just at a presentation this morning where they talked about dementia associated with alcoholism. It is nearly impossible to treat effectively. One of the caregivers there talked about how she let her husband have a beer when they went to dinner with friends just a few nights ago. Because with friends she did not want to embarass her husband by telling him no to the beer. She has done this before and suffers the consequences for many days following the beer consumption. His behaviors change drastically!

I will tell you again that YOU need to get out of there, drive away call 911, tell them what is going on warn them about guns in the house. And get away! Let the pros deal with getting him into the hospital for a geriatric psych assessment. I do not want to hear about the tragic story unfolding right in front of you because you are afraid to get the help you need. Yes it is embarassing, but remember it is the disease that is making him act this way to say nothing about possible interaction between the beers and seroquel!
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I don't see any way to keep yourself safe in that environment. I would be concerned for neighbors too. I would consult with his doctor to have him admitted to a hospital to have his medication adjusted. They would be able to protect him from harming himself or others.

I think that trying to anticipate when the bomb will go off is very risky. I don't see how things would work out well, since he is stronger than you. Scheming about ways to stay alive from day to day is not healthy. I'm not sure what you envision his progression to look like. I would make a plan for his care and follow up with it. Not all family members are able to care for a dementia patient in the home when they are violent and threatening.
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Also what about his meds? Has anything changes? Is he still taking them? It seemed like he was better for a time. Talk to his doctor...but after you are safe.
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Tarajane, do you have a neighbor or family nearby or someone you can easily get to and stay with if needed? I agree keep the keys on you, money, bank card and cell with charger. And yes get the police looped in. I volunteer as a board member to help provide safe houses for women and men who suffer domestic abuse. I know it's dementia but it might be worth checking with your local domestic abuse contacts just to see if there are safe houses you could go to if needed. They also setup regular contact discreetly with you to check on you and can get other agencies and help involved. Maybe the Alzheimer's Association can also offer some ideas too. You probably don't want to do any of this, I wouldn't either but it's necessary and may save your life and his. Regardless, you need a plan sweetheart. I don't want to come back here and read something happened.
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Keep your car keys in your pocket at all times, and run like the dickens out the door, grab your purse if you can and drive away. Drive to a safe place. Call the Police, but you need to let them know he is ill and he doesn't know what he is doing. Are the guns still in the house? If yes, tell that to the police. They will know what to do.
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Correction.....he will die by death by cop.
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