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Can someone please maybe tell me what stage my mil could be in?!? She has vascular dementia from stokes and diabetes. She goes through days were she is somewhat OK! She has to have a walker to get around can't walk falls a lot etc! She wants to eat all the time but only certain foods! The last few days have gotten stranger for her! Sunday as my husband and I were in bed the phone rings so I have to get up to find it, we'll I go in the kitchen and she is walking away from the stove. I see that she has vomited everywhere and was just gonna leave it there and not say anything!! The past few days she has stayed in her room hasn't eaten etc!! She has horrible bowel problems and is constantly having full blown accident wherever she is! She can't get to the bathroom in time she says but lately just nothing from her!! I'm not sure what is going on but she seems to get worse then better!! I'm not sure if what I am saying makes sense or if I'm explaining it well!! Monday she stayed in her room all day and when we get home to check on her she has fallen out of bed and is sound asleep with feces all over her! Her phone was within reaching distance to call for help yet she just doesn't bother and goes to sleep!! I'm terrified I will find her dead one day!! So with that being said she is 69 and was just diagnosed a little over a year ago! Can someone maybe give me some insight on the little information I have posted bc I would need a lot more space to type everything going on with her!! Thanks

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Thanks ya'll so much for the advice! She has dementia from numerous strokes within hours of each other numerous times over the years! Just last may she had 2 strokes and she also has extremely bad diabetes! She wasn't cooking anything on the stove bc my husband and I have rewired the stove/oven to one breaker and we turn that one off! She has some days where my husband and I wonder if when she is watching TV is she even aware of what she is watching! We have her in pullups and we also have her in button up gowns and house coat! Just the past few days she has stayed in her room not coming out to eat sit in the den to watch TV nothing! Her neuro called today and wants to do a repeat MRI to see if she may have had another stroke? In the meantime he says watch her and if we want take her to the ER!! Idk what to do or how to explain exactly what is different but something is? She was ok for what her capabilities are for awhile but now nothing from her! She loves to eat she eats all day to the point of vomiting like I said in my previous post but since sunday only had 1 thing to eat! I ask if she wants anything she doesn't answer so I just fix her some water toast and pack of crackers to have beside her bed! I go in to check on her and she is always sleeping! I think I am going to tell my husband we need to take her to the ER?!? Sorry my post is so long and all over the place! Thanks ya'll
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Get her in diapers. Get her adaptive clothing so she can't take them off by herself. Get a bed/chair alarm and baby monitor(s). And be there to respond. My mom is much like this without the bowel incontinence. Your life will be easier if the messes are managed better. Then yes, get another doctor. We switched to one experienced in geriatrics and are getting much better support. My Mom was put on zoloft too, it took a bit to kick in but it really did help.
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You say she has vascular dementia. Do you know how she got this diagnosis? Could she also have mixed? Sometime people have more than one type of dementia. I would try to consult with a doctor who really works with dementia patients. Maybe she needs to see a neurologist in addition to her primary care provider, however, having the traits from one stage of dementia, can change on a daily basis. A patient may have traits from a couple of different stages at the same time.

Just because she may know how to dial one phone number on one day, doesn't mean she can dial other numbers on other days.

It sounds like she may have become incontinent. That also happens with dementia. My loved one may go if placed on the toilet, but she normally will go in her diapers as well. She can't walk, but can move her feet to propel herself in her wheelchair. She can chew her food, but can't cut her meat. She can read, but can't open a gift.

Your MIL may not even realize she's laying on the floor and not in her bed. She may not even be aware she's in feces. With dementia, you have to understand that the brain is not working properly. Just because she may have a few minutes of acting normal, doesn't mean her brain is working normally. She still must be supervised at all times and it would NOT include going near a stove. That is very dangerous, IMO. It's must like protecting a toddler, She can't be left to fend for herself.

Getting worse and then better is not unusual. One day my loved one seems very distant and is not very interested in seeing me and then the next visit she's more verbal and seems much improved.
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Bankston, I found that my Mom had some doctors that didn't have the patience and didn't know diddly when it came to an elderly woman's needs. Get a second opinion from someone who has a practice in geriatric care. We were fortunate in that we asked around at the Senior Citizens Center and got some strong recommendations from a number of Mom's peers.
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Ok I could not type everything earlier bc of football with my son but we have taken her to the dr and he does not say much except if she starts acting mean to call bc he can give her some meds to take!! She can use the phone and knows how to use the phone as she calls my husband all day at work orders things off tv shopping channel etc! Just the last few days she has been acting different! I called her neuro after hours earlier and I'm waiting on a call back! I found this site while researching on my own and figured I would ask!! Thanks
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She sounds like she should be admitted to a hospital for a complete workup of her G I tract. Yes, call her doctor.

If she's been diagnosed with dementia, it's not that "she can't be bothered to" it's that "she no longer knows how to". How to dial a phone was one of the first skills my mom lost, along with pushing the "help" button.
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Call her doctor. Now.
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