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Recently starting dating an awesoem girl who is caring for her mom. From what I know so far, her mom had Multiple myeloma but caught it in time. She went through chemo and was put of resputol (I think I spelled it right). The meds gave her really bad symptoms so her daughter (the caretaker and my girlfriend in question) decided to take her off the meds and go a more natural / holistic route.

My girlfriend has had a rough time with her mom always being the one who did everything, she finds herself know relying on her daughter to do everything. For the most part she is good, but has had some moments recently that has scared her daughter. The mom is very clingy, doesn't want to be left alone, has random outburst thinking they are going broke or someone is trying to break into the house. At first we thought it was because I came into the picture and mom felt threatened. But we are starting to see that it is a little more than that.

My girl is very concerned and is not sure what to think, if this is stress related, dementia, or something related to stopping the meds and taking herbal remedies. I have asked my girl to write up an email about the whole situation which I will post on here once she gets it to me, but was wondering if you all could help me help my girl to help her mom. I told her today that it might be time for conventional medicine or counseling and just want to try to help any way that I can since mom comes with the package deal of dating this girl (which I am all cool with). Help friends. Thanks in advance and I will post more as soon as I can but advice and questions are welcomed!!!

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Your girlfriend (GF) sounds very special. She's a keeper!

I don't find a drug called resputol. Is it for the cancer or some other condition following the chemo? Did GF discuss the side effects with Mom's doctors? Were other drugs considered? Or other ways of controlling the side effects?

Has Mother been tested for a UTI?

Without knowing why she was taking the drug or exactly what it is it it would be just guessing to say what the effects of stopping it would be. Some drugs should be reduced gradually before stopping. Did GF stop the drug cold turkey?

I understand why GF didn't want her mother to experience bad side effects. And many people do try "natural" approaches. But I really think it is time to have Mother evaluated by specialists who understand Multiple Myeloma and the drug she was given, and who can also evaluate or send her to specialists who can evaluate her present symptoms.

The natural remedies they are trying are not fully taking care of the health issues, so I think it is time try something else -- either instead of or in addition to what is being tried now.

Provide more information when you have it, including the exact name of the drug and why it was prescribed.

By the way, if this is "mom wanting attention" that in itself is an indication something is wrong. This is a formerly independent, fully functional woman. To suddenly need so much attention doesn't just happen out of the blue.
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etess1, that is what my gf is going to do actually. we discussed getting her into the doctor but i will tell her about the VNA and to try/look that up!
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try the VNA for a home visit for a nurse to do a Dementia – Family Education and Patient Assessment . There might be a memory support program that she could attend . I would talk to her doctor about stopping the medication and maybe the doc would allow a lower dose or take to take meds every other day to reduce side effects . some acupuncturists are trained in herbal remedies but I would discuss meds/herbs with doctor first.
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Wanted to add: my girl took off from work to care for mom and recently went back to work. Mom has always been independent but now is very needy and hates to be alone. She is in good health barring everything she has been through (which was months and months ago but is still affecting her). She is very isolated acting, does not want to leave the house and does not want her daughter (my girl) to go anywhere and spend every waking moment with her. My girl has complied but is starting to feel the effects and wants to live her life, but not sure if this is some sickness or mom wanting attention.
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