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Mom goes into the bathroom, in a wheelchair, being very pleasant to everyone. Then becomes a different person when being brought out.

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Is the bathroom a toilet or a shower? Is something happening that hurts her? Can the aides tell you what seems to prompt it during the time she is in there?
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Go in there with her and see what’s happening.

There could be be many reasons she’s not happy with the experience. Some of Moms are:
-The aides are awkward helping her onto the toilet. A 2 assist is somtimes done very awkwardly. (When I’m there myself and 1 additional aid do it easily without problems with a different approach.)
-The cheap plastic toilet seat is cold.
-The cheap toilet paper hurts.
-They don’t position her completely square on the seat and it hurts her skinny bum.
-It takes her a long time to go, and her back starts to hurt.
-She sometimes has experienced vasovagal syncope and starts to sweat and almost fainted. Not fun.

I would just just go on in there and see what’s going on.
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cindyandpam Nov 2018
Thanks for your reply. This has been going on for more than a year. The bathrooms at her facility are extremely small. If I go in , there is no room for the aides. She uses a potty chair and they transfer her to it and then must quickly push the wheelchair out of the bathroom. Then do the reverse after. The care facility won't check her for a UTI because she has no fever or discolored urine. But she has experienced vasovagal syncope in the past. I have, on occasion , gone in with her when there is only one aide to take her. She cannot stand. It hasn't made any difference, she just accuses me of being "in on it". She is very paranoid and medications have not helped. They just increased it and she is not responding after over 2 weeks. The thing about not being able to identify pain that was previously mentioned may be something to explore further.
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