What can I expect with my dad's new preoccupation with his penis? He has dementia and Parkinson's and is 86.

You need to consult with his physician, these are signs of the dementia linked to Parkinson's Disease. It is not shocking behaviour, but it is probably beyond the scope of what you and your Mom can handle.
Whenever he does this, just follow along with the conversation whilst redirecting him to a more private area.

Talk with the doctors about some possible medication solutions. I think this is disgusting and sick but he is obviously having severe mental issues. I would, at first, tell him all the things he are doing should only be done in private and never in mixed company. If he continues and won't listen, there is one thought I had (it might be a bit mean but it just may work) - start laughing at "it" and tell him how funny he looks and he should "hide" it. That may get his senile brain to allow him to stop.

Talk to his neurologist;it may be a behavior linked to his Parkinson’s meds.

In this case, redirection. A woman a church once pulled down her pants, exposing her underwear. Another lady pulled the woman aside and gently told her "Now M---, this is not the place for that."

Not everyone id knowlegable here
People get this way after 10 or so years on parkinsons drugs if on higher doses. Male and female both. The drugs have the side effects plus people can have a double whammy with dementia.

There are adaptive clothing that prevents this - a lady in my mom's NH wore them - I used 'Silverts' but there are others around - they are 1 piece garments that zip up the back & the zipper tab is under a secure snap - good luck

mlcjohnson; this is a difficult situation especially for a daughter ,I really can not imagine how difficult this is to process for you ....but when I worked in NH the men always did this sort of things they were so bad we would have to make them go back to their rooms and tell them that is inappropriate behavior nobody wants to see them doing that ....we had a guy that would sit in the day room and start to get buzy!! And there are men who poop their pants just because they want the women to clean them up then start to ........while the cna is cleaning them I have to say so many of the men that passed through the Nursing home were absolutely inappropriate about this and we just would say OH NO NO NO ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED NO MATTER WHAT YOU CAN NOT DO THAT ITS AGAINST THE RULES ESPECIALLY IN DAYROOM THEN WE WOULD ESCORT THEM TO THEIR OWN ROOM.I would not know how to handel if my dad did that. but know it is the disease the Alzheimer's makes our loved ones do things they otherwise would NEVER EVER have done

Someone mentioned that it may be due to long term usage of the meds. Interesting...
My mom takes sinemet for Parkinson’s for many years. Must not effect women in a sexual manner. At least not with my mom.

Plus 10 explained it exactly right.
You did exactly the right thing redirecting your dad to the bathroom, not admonishing him but treating him with dignity & respect.

Give yourself some grace. Considering that was the first time it happened & you were caught off guard, you seemed to know exactly what to do.

It’s so helpful to read these posts & other books written about these horrible neurological disorders. You can also help your mom understand. The more you know, the easier it is to stay compassionate. However, as you know it’s very difficult to watch & be the care giver. Blessings to you.

Looks like you've gotten some good recommendations. I saw similar behavior in my father and another man I knew at work after having strokes. My father was homosexual but never out until his stroke. The out part was positive for him, but he was also blatant and inappropriate, even in the rehab ward of the hospital he wanted handsome male nurses to shower him only and he was constantly complimenting the younger men that were in the same wing, one of whom had lost the use of his legs in a car accident! The gentleman at work I mentioned was asking for the phone number of a 16 year old girl. At least your father is behaving more childlike because unfortunately, it could be a lot worse. They have no inhibitions. I hope a change in meds makes a difference or he moves out of this phase quickly for your sake and your mother.

Difficult, though remember it’s not your dad as you know him, just the way the disease and treatment are affecting him. I suspect he would be mortified if he truly realised as your dad. However you have to accept the person as they are with the disease.

My father started exposing himself to everyone everyone who visited him in hospital. Kind neighbours and family who expressed a wish to visit - I had to forward them in advance in case and I apologised on his behalf. They were all very good about it. Their no nonsense approach was perfect. Dad had prostate cancer and the hormones had essentially shrunk his penis till he had problems peeing in a bottle,

However, we all just treated him as normal and dealt with each occasion as it occurred. After dad returned home one neighbour on being shown again just said “I know, put it away you've shown me before that you’ve less than a 6 month boy.”

It was the right approach. However much a shock this may be - try to act as though instructing someone who doesn’t know the social niceties.

My aunt was a very upstanding citizen but as the Alzheimers progressed she had no qualms re spitting food out onto the floor or hitching her skirt up for a good scratch “down below”. She would have been horrified if she had known - but that person was long gone.

Im so sorry, it’s never nice when someone acts in such an unconventional manner, just remember he genuinely isn’t aware it’s wrong.

My father is 86 and also has Parkinson’s, and increasingly the dementia that can go with that. In the last year I have also observed the type of behavior you describe. I would not have described him and my family growing up as sexually repressed whatsoever, but as you say it might have been described as a sexually conservative household, common in that generation. I only mention that because of the comments above saying maybe it is a latent personality trait. It is not.

Definitely certain drugs used for Parkinson’s treatment, mirapex (pramipexole) for instance, can have an unfortunate side effect of hypersexuality. The neurologist tried to take my father off this drug but turns out he needs the positive effects so we have to live with the negative effects too.

In general we do what others have suggested and redirect him when he does these behaviors. You can also tell him, like you said already, that what he is doing is a private behavior and should only be done in his own room. I have asked my father to please stop his behavior and dropped a towel across his lap. He has expressed to me before, with regret, that he thinks about sex all the time and his women caretakers all the time. I tell him I’m sorry and tell him it is happening because that is one side effect of his disease and the drugs he takes. If you would have told me several years ago I would be dealing with this, and talking about this, with my father I would have been totally shocked and disgusted. Now I am not. I understand it truly is his disease process and I remind myself this is not really my father, It is my father tortured by a horrible disease he has no control over. It is him that would be the one shocked and disgusted if he were truly able to consider, in his former fully rational mind, what he is doing. Please try to not judge and don’t let others judge either. Gently and compassionately but firmly defend him if you are required to deal with this in the presence of others who don’t understand. So much has been taken away from your dad in terms of physical abilities, executive function, and dignity. Try not to withdraw your compassionate feelings and love toward him when this occurs. Just redirect and move on. Perhaps this phase is one we will pass through and leave behind someday. I hope so. Till then I do my best not to humiliate him or be humiliated myself.

One last thing I will add to the discussion. I am beginning to observe that when he begins to get extremely obsessive about penis touching, rubbing, and exposure, it has preceded or coincided with a UTI. When the UTI has been treated it is not quite as obsessive a behavior. Might check for UTI with your dad since this started so quickly.

Best of luck to you. Parkinson’s is a long sad road isn’t it.

Good job, on redirecting.

I believe, with dementia, there is no "approaching him" about this.

Involve his Dr.

Something's going on here.

I don’t know if the following helps your situation or not, however I do feel for you.
I somewhat remember a post on here from an elderly husband whose wife had dementia. It seemed family had gathered at their home to celebrate her birthday (their adult kids & grandkids, etc)... when it was time for her to blow out her birthday candles, she comes out from the bedroom in her birthday suit, completely naked!
The nice thing about the story was how gentle her husband treated her, by simply turning her around, walking her back to the bedroom, and telling her she needed to have her clothes on for family events like this.

You should take him to the hospital because he may be suffering a urinary tract infection, or other kind of infectious process (pneumonia, blood infection, wound infection); when it comes to elderly they do not always have a fever. Another possibility may be stroke. Once these are ruled out, the doctor can organize him seeing a neurologist. UTIs can really make elder people loopy or send them around the bend.

While I agree that his neurologist should be contacted about this behavior, maybe also his general doctor, there is really nothing wrong with masturbating unless it is constant or starts happening in public. Are there more things going on than the 2 you mentioned? Might he be alarmed about his penis being shriveled because he thinks of himself as younger than he is?

Even if you grew up in a very open forward thinking home, you wouldn't want to see your dad masturbating or see his penis at all.  I agree with the suggestion of "redirecting him" and asking his doctor about a medication that might get him to pipe down a bit. I know it is embarrassing for you, but it is very common in the dementia world.  My mother was having physical therapy for her knee an was telling me the physical therapist was putting her in sexual positions.  I work with a woman whose husband has dementia and she is trying to maintain him at home.  He has become very sexually aggressive with her and demands it all the time.  The fact that he is no longer the same person...(he was eating his spaghetti with his hair comb the other day because he no longer understands what silverware is for) and she is in the role of caregiver for him, it totally repulses her when he wants to have sex and she has to redirect him constantly.

You do have a problem that is not going to be easy to live with or to solve. But it is understandable with dementia. The filters on how to behave come down; and behaviour changes. The only book I know that might be helpful is by Danuta Lipinska, "Dementia, Sex and Wellbeing: A Person-Centred Guide for People with Dementia, Their Partners, Caregivers and Professionals" (Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2018). I don't think it will help much with the problem of exposure, but it's calm and balanced and helpful to carers in learning how to deal with sexuality with those who have dementia. As several correspondents have suggested, check out the side effects of all medications.

All the best.

The problem with growing up in a reserved,conservative household is that he has been held back for so long that he is now exposing the real him.

It's called Inappropriate Sexual Behavior or ISB for short and is common with dementia. You cannot redirect a person, normally, who's fixated on sexual matters......they will just keep coming back to the obsessive thought over and over. Medications CAN and SHOULD be prescribed for ISB so everyone can find relief.
Best of luck

What about indoor plants?

Definitely tell his neurologist about his behavior. My mom has Parkinson’s and only takes one medication for it since it is slowly progressing. She was diagnosed at an older age so it will progress slowly. She takes Sinamet.

People who get it younger like Michael J. Fox will see the disease progress more quickly.

My dad did not expose himself, but towards the end he thought EVERY woman in the house "wanted" him.. and my mom was "too old" to be his wife. He thought all my DDs friends, our nephews GF, our niece.. you name it.., was hot for him! Luckily they knew he had dementia.. and several were in healthcare.. but still potentially embaressing! This too shall pass, but probably not fast enough for you! My best wishes are with you.

Some of the medications that are used to treat PD cause obsessive/compulsive behavior including hypersexuality. I would discuss it with his neurologist and see if maybe change his meds would help.

Wish I had known some of these tricks 14 years ago when my FIL was taking 'naked pics' of himself and posting them online. ALSO--having the film developed at the local KMart.

Good luck with this--I know it was a problem with FIL until his death--he has some seriously deep rooted problems and they were never addressed.

We did NOT have dementia or Alz. He just had a sexual problem that went un-fixed.

He used to garden. What about ordering some seed catalogs and gardening magazines? Thrift stores may have cheap books with pictures of gardens. He can cut them out and make collages. Do you have a wheelchair? Can you bring him around the neighborhood and show him front yard gardens? Is redirection possible?

Learn how to redirect him. You can expect him to continue doing this until he enters another phase. You can approach him but it won't do any good because his brain is broken and he's losing inhibitions. When he does it, try to keep calm, pull up his pants, and gently redirect him both verbally and physically toward another activity e.g. place him at a table in front of a dementia coloring book, or some such. What were his hobbies and interests?

That would traumatize me too! I have no advice, sorry, but as many will attest on here— his brain is broken. The man you knew is not the man you see now. It’s like the mind/personality dies before the body does. It’s just awful for everyone.

This behavior sounds more like how a toddler or small boy would act when they’re in that phase of ‘discovery’! And given his decline, he will likely move to another phase and stop this behavior,