Today, I called my Mom twice and after finally reaching her, she told me ale was trying to pay her electric bill as they were going to shut it off today for non payment! She couldn't figure out how to pay the bill even with the prompts that were given over the phone. As soon as I found out, I used their bill pay service to take care of it for her. There's still a chance she may be sitting in the dark tonight if they didn't see the payment in time. She's well off and paying her bills is not a hardship, however she has forgotten to pay 2 of her bills in the last month. I was able to put both fires out, thankfully. She truly doesn't see that she is having memory issues. Denial is where we're at. These 2 bills are just a couple of things that have been going on with her and her memory failing. How do you deal with someone who's in denial? Even her doctor doesn't think she should be living alone. I'm at a loss how I can help her?! She already harbors resentment from me trying to get her tested for dementia last spring. She thinks I'm trying to be the "boss". I've had to pull back and spend less time with her in order to protect my feelings from being battered. (Life long story of self-centeredness.) She's getting worse and I'm at a loss as to what I can do. Fyi, I do have her POA for her health while my brother has her POA for her finances (he lives in another state). She's turning 90 this April.
Is the POA in effect?
If so your brother should be arranging that bills are paid on line. If this is not something he wants to do the bells can be sent to him rather than your mother. then he can pay them from her account.
If the POA is not in effect and you have no indication from a doctor that she has dementia then as difficult as it is you need to step back and wait for something to happen that will force some sort of action.
But given what you have said she should not be living alone. And if she drives she should not be driving.
Then the difficult decisions...does she go to Memory Care or move in with brother.....no way you should care for her given what you have said in your post. Or Caregivers move in with her.