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My brother & boyfriend live with my 83 year old father. He's been mean and nasty to me & my husband. Harassing me on Facebook, Slamming the door on my face. I have to go over to my father's home to take care of his medications and take him to the doctor's etc. I'm his POA. This man has became impossible to deal with and my brother fights with him all the time but still stays with him. What can I do? Open to suggestions and has anyone else have to deal with this kind of issue? Thank you.

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Just a suggestion, is there anyway to have an adult mtg maybe with a mediator of some kind? A neutral party to sort out the needs of your father and who will do what. Can extra sitter time be scheduled?
If BF does not want to participate maybe its time for him to move out.
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if ur his POA than you give him a 30 day notice to move out asap. you would have to go to court and explain the issue. get u an order of protection and out he will be in a few mths. take pics of everything in the home just in case he has sticky fingers and do not accept rent. he maybe abusive to ur father as well. get him out asap. i believe it will take 3/6 mths. you can do it urself or hire an attorney depending on how fast u want him out. u nor your family have to deal with this nonsense. you can file a law suit for defamation if that's the case.
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I rarely think a lawyer is needed. Lawyers can sometimes help with personal or relationship problems, but usually not. In your case, however, I'd say it's lawyer time, especially if your father has any assets. Maybe something is going on this guy wants to cover up.
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Who owns the home your Father is living in?

I'm wondering is the boyfriend is a freeloader?

Unfortunately, the boyfriend's lack of decency & petty rubbish on Fbook is not within your control, unless it is abuse that it is against the law.

Can you discuss his behaviour directly with him? Or failing that, with your Brother (privately)?

Maybe boyfriend feels like he does all the work & you waltz in just for the occasional appointment? Who knows unless he TALKS, not just act out. Can he be an ADULT & tell you or your Brother what's eating him? That would be a start.
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You need to get brother to agree he doesn't want the man there anymore. Then Dad will need to evict him legally because he is a tenant. If Dad is not able to do this, then hopefully someone has POA. If the man ever lays hands on you, Dad or brother call the police. Tell them he can't return and if he does its with a police escort to pick up his belongings.

When it comes down to it though, its up to your brother to kick him out. I would not go over without my husband.
You also posted this:
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-brothers-partner-is-starting-to-harass-me-should-i-involve-my-83-yr-old-father-in-the-situation-461634.htm
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2020
This link doesn’t exist. Says page can’t be found.
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Why don't you offer to let this man and your brother take over dad's care, 24/7?

YOU shouldn't be accepting abuse while caregiving.

Talk to brother, if he doesn't put you ahead of his BF, then that is telling. This is wrong, on a lot of levels. You shouldn't have to deal with the BF AT ALL. You're not related, I don't even consider myself related to my MIL and I am married to her son.

If you are POA, you can call Elder Abuse--YOU! (I am assuming you are in your 50's to 60's) Does your dad have his wits about him enough to help out with sticking up for yourself?

As far as FB harassing, that's just juvenile.

Can you have dad give POA to brother? Wash your hands of it? Sounds like you do care for dad, you're just upset with brother. But this BF is making it unpleasant to do your CG.

There probably isn't even a REASON the BF is a jerk. Some people are just mean.

I'm so sorry for your situation.
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