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I live with her right now to help with the $2200 rent. I’m 67 and just need my life back! There is no one else to help me. My sister on the east coast is mentally Ill so no help there! I can’t take this anymore! We never had a good relationship and it’s 1000 times worse now! Everyone I know says just leave her… she’s so mean to you. But I have guilt about it. I’ve given up on life!😢

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At 67, you still have time to get your life back.

I agree with the suggestion of calling APS and reporting a vulnerable adult. They will do an assessment, and (as she is 90) should be able to suggest the best facility for her to be placed in.

It would also be helpful for you to see a counsellor for your own healing/plotting a new life-direction. I do not know what is available in your area, but Geaton777 has provided some contact information below to get you started if you are in the U.S.

Wishing you strength.
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Reply to Danielle123
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It’s enough for a care home. There are more of those than you might realize and some are pretty good.


Get therspy for yourself. You need to release these toxins on the regular, set some goals and have someone to help you stay on tract.

Get out everyday and walk. If only for a few minutes. Get headphones and listen to music, podcasts and to talk on the phone. “Tune her out”.

Come here and get stronger. Wishing you well.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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I must first say that you are NOT responsible for your mom or her care. If she doesn't have enough money to be placed in a nursing facility then she'll have to apply for Medicaid.
Your mom at 90 years old has had her life and if she was any kind of a loving mom she would NEVER want her child giving up their lives for them.
So start taking the steps to get your life back, which yes will include moving out of your moms house along with calling APS to report a vulnerable adult living by themselves. They will come out and do an assessment and if need be take over her care and get her placed in the appropriate facility.
Please DO NOT continue to be abused by this woman, but instead stand strong and take your life back!
I wish you well in doing just that. You'll be SO glad you did, as we all only get one life to live, so it's up to us to make the most of it.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Has she always been "mean" to you? Or is this a new behavior, which could possibly be a sign of depression or dementia, or both? Are you her PoA? If not, does she have one? If not, it will be a little trickier to step in to help her make decisions or take actions that are financial or medical. Has she been to her annual free Medicare wellness exam? They usually ask if you want the cognitive/memory test. She can assign you as her Medical Representative (ask for the MR HIPAA form) so that her medical team can legally discuss her private medical information with you. To find out what resources there may be to help her, call 2-1-1: "It's a free, confidential helpline that connects you to trained specialists who help people find local services and resources. It�s run by United Way (through a national network), and it operates 24/7 across most of the U.S. When you call: A live person answers � They listen to your situation (rent help, food, utility assistance, elder care, etc.). They look up local nonprofits, government programs, and agencies in your specific area or ZIP code. They give you referrals, phone numbers, eligibility info, and sometimes help you connect directly. It's sort of like a one-stop help center for everyday human needs, especially for seniors, low-income families, and people facing hardship." Source: ChatGPT search
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