You’re not supposed to on be on it for longer than 6 weeks especially if an elder. She has now been diagnosed with moderate dementia by a 3rd party doctor because he wouldn’t order one even though we kept telling him she has memory issues. She admitted to memory issues to him as well. He will not invoke the health care proxy either so we can get her memory support. I honestly am at wit’s end on this. She’s had two traumatic falls in her home that out her in the hospital and can’t live on her own anymore.
You need a neurologist for full workup. He can invoke the proxy.
Look, there are prescription guidelines. There are times when what the patient NEEDS is outside of what is recommended. In eldercare, there are sometimes no "good" and certainly no "perfect" choices, only least bad ones.
If the doctors/hospital have said that she can't live on her own anymore, your response needs to be "what level of care does my mother need at this time?"
You can add that you have no authority to place her or to direct her care because the POA has not been activated.
The hospital discharge planners should be able to direct you to rehab or whatever she needs next.
Just because she cannot live alone doesn't mean you need to take her into your home, or move into hers.
Please explore all the options.