Dad is continually getting scammed or talked into things. He’s not online, so it all happens on phone or without his knowledge. He is pretty forgetful these days but needs to have CC and checking account access, and certainly a phone. I’ve changed the phone #, the email, (which I monitor & which he does NOT use, no computer use at all), registered for do not call & do not mail, changed the bank account, and the CC account multiple times….

What can I do to prevent this? I monitor it, and mostly it gets corrected – Wells Fargo has been great- but not always able to save the $$. Do you have any suggestions? Everytime I get one thing resolved, there’s another.

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Hi LoveMyFolksLots,

1) Are you his POA? If not you should get that in motion.

2) Get rid of his cell phone. He probably doesn't even use it.

3) Depending on the landline provider (my M-I-L has Spectrum) you can set up an on-line account and "white list" phone numbers. That is what we did with her number. On the account page you put in the phone #s that will be accepted, such as friends and family. Any # not on that list will receive a message that says " the number you have called is not accepting calls". This has been a lifesaver for us.

4) You say he needs to have access to his bank account and credit cards. Are you listed on his bank accounts? If the account is in both your names maybe you could take over bill paying, etc.
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Sorry, my answer is take the phone away. If its a cell, lose it. If landline disconnect. If Dad has ALZ/Dementia he should not have access to a phone. Hopefully you have POA. My SIL had to do this with her 77 year old mother. She was actually calling sales people who called her before. She already went thru 50k of her husbands insurance money. TG my SIL has POA now and control over the proceeds of the sale of Mom's house. house. Once these people get money they will keep calling.

The Do not Call list is a joke. They allow surveys, political call, charities and businesses you have done business with. Robo calls don't fall under this. They r actually illegal.

When it comes to junk mail...if a prepaid envelope is included send all the enclosures back with parents name and address circled. Write a note "Take me off ur Mailing list". If no envelope go online and email them with the same info. Do not subcribe to any magazines. They sell your address. Same with book clubs and CD/DVD clubs. I cut down on a lot of Moms junk mail this way.

When Dementia takes over our lives the roles change. We become the adults our parents the children. They no longer can reason or process. It is no longer what they want but what they need.
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Tina2010 Nov 2018
How do you "physically" take the cell phone phone/ land line away? That would create WW III . Husband has POA (both). His parents both have dementia. Father-in-law keeps talking to realtors, sales individuals. How can you do this logistically?
Have you put a freeze on his credit? It's free to do . Seniors are a popular target for identity thieves because they rarely check their credit reports and often have good credit.

You can do it online by contacting the credit reporting services individually (Transunion, Equifax and Experian). If he ever needed to apply for credit you can unfreeze the accounts.
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Nomorobo worked for me on my land line but not on my cell phone. Same with forwarding the calls. If you can get him to just a land line with the ability to forward the calls then you can be the one dealing with these crooks. And if it’s someone he would enjoy talking with (friends and other loved ones) you can have him call them right back. Be careful the calls are being forwarded and not just ringing both your phone and his at the same time.

If you are letting him use a cell, you might want to do away with it.
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Nomorobo is great as long as your father will let the phone ring one time without picking up. My husband's father sits right next to the phone and did not understand that he had to ignore the first ring for Nomorobo to work.
(If the call is identified as a robocall, it will be forwarded after the first ring.)
It did work for my mother, although the phone ringing only once confused and annoyed her.
My cell phone has an option to not ring calls from numbers that are not in my contacts, it sends them straight to voice mail. If people leave a message, I can add them to contacts (so the phone rings next time they call) and call them back.

This might help for a time but if your father is the one with ALZ then this is only a delay - eventually you will need to take control of the phone and dad's money.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2018
This is how my cell works. I have it set for contacts only and all others go to voicemail. Hopefully he doesn't know how to get into VM. One of the first things Mom forgot how to use was her cordless phone.
Can you have all incoming calls forwarded to your number so that the phone can only be used by your dad for out going calls? Between the IRS scam, the jury duty extortion scam, the you’ve won ——- scams, and other scary stuff out there calls, it really makes it difficult to protect our elders from despicable predators. You can forward your dad’s mail to a P.O. box if you have power of attorney. Unfortunately, there are still the door to door things to contend with as well as the offers on TV and the ones that come in the mail and stuff that’s on the Internet. It is never ending and someone will eventually need to take over the bill paying and managing of your dad’s finances. As long as your dad still has a phone, credit card and access to bank accounts, he is a huge target. Having a POA is/ will be necessary, and you can only be named as such while your dad is mentally competent. Good luck to you.
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Block all call except those on his contact list.
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I’m confused...your profile says one parent lives with you and one lives out of state. Which one is your dad? If he lives with you then who's phone is ringing?
I also suggest no cell phone since these are difficult to stop robocalls from. But if he has one, you can also forward those calls as well. Personally I wouldn’t want to have to keep up with my calls and someone else’s but if you won’t cut his phone, then you’ll have to do something. Also..everyone should freeze their credit reports. They recently made that free for everyone now. Freeze at all 3 credit agencies not just one. I also would be sure he doesn’t have an ATM card.
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Activating Nomorobo on our Comcast home phone line has pretty dramatically cut down on garbage calls. Hope other folks have some ideas.
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You can google "don't call list number"
Then put your Dad's numbers on the don't call list
By law, if the companies call when a person is on this list, they are breaking the law & can be charged
If you/he answers & says "I'm on the don't call list...pls don't call again"
They will slowly drop off
You can change the ph number, but don't put it in his name ..easy to do...
Each time you get a new # under his name its registered by the Credit bureaus...and the vultures have it in no time
Anonymous #...they can'f find him
I did all this for my Grandpa
My Gramps told me "he liked talking to 'those people' cause it eased the loneliness"
Now I hooked him up at a really big senior center near him that has lots of activities & he goes there often & plays pool, has lunch, & talks to people
He doesn't get down as often
And rarely complains of being lonely. And....he has a girlfriend 24 years younger than him. And he's def not rich! :) Go Gramps
Your Dad is lucky to have such a sweet soul as a daughter
Good luck
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