I am one of five children. I was our mother's caregiver for our mother. At first my older sister helped with some chores. However, I was the sole responsible for cooking meals for both our parents, and care for my mothers hygiene when she could no longer do it herself.
The five of us split the cost of their insurance policy. I have been told that seeing as I cared four our mother, I should have been given financial aid. I never thought that was a possiblity.
Now that my mother has passed away, I am performing chores that benefit our father. Plus, we still have to pay insurance for him. He was not a very good father and he created many problems that he expected other people to solve. How can I stop resenting him? How can I summon the courage to stop doing chores that benefit him?
Courage is required for many things in life. And that's a fact.
It starts with practice.
It is time to tell your father that you cannot continue to support him and that he will be now at the mercy of the state for care he cannot afford. You will slowly limit your visits. I am hoping against hope that you have not taken him into your home and that you never will.
No one can make these decisions for you.
You will chose either to be the doormat everyone steps on, and to stand up for yourself.
But either way you must recognize that it is YOUR choice for YOUR own life.
You don't needvto care for Dad if you don't want to. Limit your time with him. Tell ur siblings u did most of the care for Mom, your not doing it for Dad. You should have a Social Service office where u can find out what Dad is entitled to.
Have you contacted Council on Aging in your dad’s area to get an assessment of his needs? Start there and tell them that you are no longer interested in being his caregiver. See what they can suggest to you.
Wishing you all the best.
If you live with him, move out. If he lives with you, remove him to another sibling's home or a facility. I don't know what the options are in PR... if you have social workers there, consider talking to one to see what options there are in this situation.