My MIL has stated over and over (and would attest to this in a court of law!) that she has not slept one second since I married into the family. Evidently, when DH and I were engaged, in college and working, we spent many nights up studying late....sometimes until midnight! The horrors!
She would stand at the top of the stairs and listen to 'hear' what was 'going on'. Studying, woman, we were STUDYING!
At midnight, on the dot, she'll yell down the stairs for my DH to 'take her home now, you've had enough time together for one day!' Rather than fight, (for crying out loud, we were 20 & 25, not teenagers) Dh would either hand me his car keys or run me home.
She has maintained for 47 years that due to this--she lost the ability to sleep.
Well, it's a confabulation, at best and a hurtful lie at worst. Of COURSE she's slept!
Now she is exhausted by the smallest of exertion, and at 92, we don't expect much, but she most definitely sleeps, and sleeps well. She watches TV all day long and if you drop by unannounced. she is always asleep in her recliner. She is in bed by 8 and not up again until 9 or 10 the next day. Trust me, she sleeps.
Complaining of poor sleep, or none, is fairly common. Being more active, cutting down on caffeine after, say 3 pm, keeping alert and busy during the day helps.
Any PCP can figure out a gentle drug campaign to get mom to sleep.
Clearing up the UTI and keeping it at bay should go a long ways to helping her.
She is almost 90, so she may not be getting a whole lot of activity and she may not need a whole lot of sleep. Does she enjoy radio. An old fashioned radio at the bedside so helped my Mom. Or a tablet that you can set for her favorite kind of podcast. I guarantee them for putting ME to sleep. I am not certain I have other ideas and messing with sleep meds can cause a whole lot of trouble. Be certain she doesn't eat near bedtime as the metabolism can kickstart the systems and make one a bit wakeful. Sure do wish you luck and I think getting any kind of routine for the very old and the very young is very tough.
In California, there are many cannabis pharmacies that have “sleep-aid” gummies, with low levels of THC/CBD. Half a gummy before bed often helps my mom fall asleep.
I guess you need to check with pharmacist or doctors but -- I think CBD gummies might be a great idea. They have been for me -- I've had a few decades of post-menopausal sleep problems (wake up often after 2 hours etc) and used meds for them when necessary -- and I am finding that a "sleep gummy" really works well and affects my memory etc much less when I'm awake.
I use some I'd read about in a decent article, the brand is NotPot, and the gummy has some melatonin in it as well. I plan to also try Charlotte's Web, which somebody told me about. As far as I'm concerned, these are miraculous. It's all legal where I am so no doctor involvement needed.
In addition the advice re: mother getting some exercise if possible is really important. Also about her doing anything that would use energy and tire her out somewhat, if she's able. I've seen videos where someone with dementia benefits from folding laundry, for example -- there's the concentration and also the feeling of being useful. Depending where she's at of course.
"I am caring for my mother Teresa, who is 89 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection."
"Working full time and taking care of mom."
Has she been recently seen by her primary physician? There are meds that can help but it will take time to find the right one, and for her body to acclimate to the medication. If they require her to come in person, I'd consult with the clinic to see what options there are. Others may suggest hospice, which doesn't necessarily imply end-of-life, but may be helpful since she has so many health issues.
You can also contact your county's social services to request an in-home assessment to see if she qualifies for any services. Also contact your local Area Ageny on Aging for more resources. As her care needs increase, and since she lives with you and you work full-time, you may want to consider is she qualifies for LTC. If she does, then and option would be to transitiion her to a facility and then apply for Medicaid. If you are in NY state, I think Medicaid has a 2.5 yr financial "look back" on the appliciation, and it may cover the cost of AL (which not many states do). Please explore all options before there is crisis. Eventually her care needs will overwhelm you. Then who will take care of you?
First check in with her primary. My mom with dementia encountered issues with not sleeping. He approved melatonin 10mg, she took 2 tylenol at bedtime for knee pain and often 1 chewable dramamine 25mg. It was the perfect cocktail for mom and she did not feel drugged in the morning. We tried to restrict her liquids after dinner.
Is your mom waking too often to use the bathroom? Is anxiety keeping her awake?
Everyone is different. Some people swear by chamomile lavender tea.
No coffee, not even decaf. No alcohol. No chocolate and no carbonated drinks, which often have caffeine. A white noise machine. Appropriate medication. No action TV before bedtime. All this should help, and good luck.
Experts are recommending 7 hours per day for best health, but everyone is different. She may be sleeping more than you think. Is she napping during the day? Some good suggestions from the other responders. Expecially try to figure out of she's having to go to the bathroom many times at night. Use incontinence supplies if she is, a disposable pad under her and disposable panties. Also, give her fluids early in the day so that you can stop giving them to her in the evening. Foods like fruits and vegetables have fluids in them. Warm milk (sweetened if she likes it better) also could help, as calcium helps sleep.
She would stand at the top of the stairs and listen to 'hear' what was 'going on'. Studying, woman, we were STUDYING!
At midnight, on the dot, she'll yell down the stairs for my DH to 'take her home now, you've had enough time together for one day!' Rather than fight, (for crying out loud, we were 20 & 25, not teenagers) Dh would either hand me his car keys or run me home.
She has maintained for 47 years that due to this--she lost the ability to sleep.
Well, it's a confabulation, at best and a hurtful lie at worst. Of COURSE she's slept!
Now she is exhausted by the smallest of exertion, and at 92, we don't expect much, but she most definitely sleeps, and sleeps well. She watches TV all day long and if you drop by unannounced. she is always asleep in her recliner. She is in bed by 8 and not up again until 9 or 10 the next day. Trust me, she sleeps.
Complaining of poor sleep, or none, is fairly common. Being more active, cutting down on caffeine after, say 3 pm, keeping alert and busy during the day helps.
Any PCP can figure out a gentle drug campaign to get mom to sleep.
Clearing up the UTI and keeping it at bay should go a long ways to helping her.
Good Luck.
I use some I'd read about in a decent article, the brand is NotPot, and the gummy has some melatonin in it as well. I plan to also try Charlotte's Web, which somebody told me about. As far as I'm concerned, these are miraculous. It's all legal where I am so no doctor involvement needed.
In addition the advice re: mother getting some exercise if possible is really important. Also about her doing anything that would use energy and tire her out somewhat, if she's able. I've seen videos where someone with dementia benefits from folding laundry, for example -- there's the concentration and also the feeling of being useful. Depending where she's at of course.
"I am caring for my mother Teresa, who is 89 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection."
"Working full time and taking care of mom."
Has she been recently seen by her primary physician? There are meds that can help but it will take time to find the right one, and for her body to acclimate to the medication. If they require her to come in person, I'd consult with the clinic to see what options there are. Others may suggest hospice, which doesn't necessarily imply end-of-life, but may be helpful since she has so many health issues.
You can also contact your county's social services to request an in-home assessment to see if she qualifies for any services. Also contact your local Area Ageny on Aging for more resources. As her care needs increase, and since she lives with you and you work full-time, you may want to consider is she qualifies for LTC. If she does, then and option would be to transitiion her to a facility and then apply for Medicaid. If you are in NY state, I think Medicaid has a 2.5 yr financial "look back" on the appliciation, and it may cover the cost of AL (which not many states do). Please explore all options before there is crisis. Eventually her care needs will overwhelm you. Then who will take care of you?
Is your mom waking too often to use the bathroom? Is anxiety keeping her awake?
Everyone is different. Some people swear by chamomile lavender tea.
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