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Oh, Barbara, welcome to the club! Almost all of us have this problem with our loved ones with dementia. If you do a search, you can find lots of previous posts on these subjects.

It has been determined that as far as the bathing goes, there can be many different reasons. There may be a fear of falling, of the water, of the temperature of the water, of the nudity, of the embarrassment. There are many ideas of how to manage. They will lie to you and say they've bathed when they haven't. You know the truth, it's just how much you are willing to go along. Is your loved one to the point where they need assistance in the shower? If you need help with some ideas, we've got 'em.

As far as the clothing goes, sometimes they've loss their sense of smell or vision, they don't think the clothes are dirty. They don't want to do so much laundry. They find clothes that are comfortable and don't want to wear others....What I do is remove the dirty clothes each evening and then she has to put on clean ones. I do the laundry, she no longer does.

I wish to goodness I could figure out why they won't wash their hands. It is something that a lot of us deal with, and my mom will just get violent if I press the issue. So I do what I can and sometimes just make her mad, but you have to clean the hands sometimes.

So, again, welcome to the club. Hope we can be helpful, others will share too.
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Does this person have dementia? Is this a new behavior?
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Who is this person? An elderly parent? Does your parent live with you? Is your parent ill? Does your parent have mobility issues?

A more detailed question will help get you quicker suggestions.
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