Please, do not give me the advice that I am to just deal with it. Because I am now experiencing hearing and ear problems associated with the volume so high all day long. I have talked to him multiple times about this and I told him my ears now are filled with fluid and I am not able to hear. He has hearing aids and he is able to hear me when I talk to him with the TV off. Otherwise, he cannot hear the phone ring, or if I am talking or not. People have commented multiple times about the volume when; they stop over for a visit. Most of them have not been coming to visit, and I think it may be because of the TV being so loud. He will talk to me with the TV on instead of turning it off. This has caused resentment and frustration. I believe he can hear the TV, and that he has more difficulty processing the words to what they mean than hearing what they say. When I turn it down, and after I leave the room he is right there turning it back up. I want to keep my respect for him as an adult to make his own decisions, but this problem is affecting all of his relationships. What am I to do when he does not take in consideration or seem to care if the volume that high affects our hearing and his communication with all of us? Do I have a right to hide the remote control after I turn it down? Is there some kind of volume block that I can use? Please help me resolve this problem because the only relief that I see is hiding the remote which may cause resentment on his end.
Terrie
But here are some other solutions that may work before you start world war 3 with dad:
1. get him headphone so he can blast it as loud in his ears as he wants and you won't have to hear it.
2. Closed caption sub titles on the tv so he can read what they are saying without blasting the tv.
3. Use 1 and 2 and make him watch tv in his room with the door closed.
Apart from that you have a right and duty to protect your hearing. Hearing loss can lead to tinnitus and there is no cure for it.
And he has no respect or concern for what this is doing to you so its time for you to put yourself first.
Just because has old doesnt mean he should be allowed to get away with crap like this.
Why is he more of a priority than you?
And don't talk to him when the tv is on.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/warning-being-a-caregiver-can-give-you-permanent-hearing-damage-478269.htm
I agree that maybe Dad needs the volume up because it helps him distinguish the words better. My husband has damage to nerves and the bone behind the ear that helps u hear. He says his hearing is like static on a radio, you turn it up hoping that you can hear the words better. Hearing aides don't change that problem. I cannot be in the same room with him if he turns up the TV to hear. I am very sensitive to sound. What you are describing would make me nauseous. I set my TV volume between 11 and 15. It depends on what I am watching.
If this is your home, sorry Dad no higher than #__. He also needs to realize that he is also effecting his hearing. In the Cochlea of the ear are hairs. When the sound is too loud it bends these hairs causing hearing problems. Its not reversable. You need to protect yourself. Wear ear plugs. I love the silicone ones. Get head phones that block the sound completely. Try those TV ears. The volume on the TV can be way down because the earphone has a volume button button so Dad can turn it up as loud as he wants.
Don't talk to him if you have to scream. If he tries to talk to you he has to turn down the volume or you will not talk to him. When company comes its rude to have a TV on anyway.
Just read, you maybe able to adjust the Maximum volume level on the TV. Seems its done in Hotels.
"From Settings, pick Sound & Haptics, then Headphone Safety: Turn on the Reduce Loud Sounds toggle switch and you can choose your level."
If above does not work, then google the TV brand and model# of Dads TV.
Have you tried "closed captioning" he can read what is being said and the volume can be kept lower and he will not miss what is being said since the can read dialogue.
You could also check to see if the remote can be "set" differently for volume so the volume only goes up to a set level. That might be done on the TV apart from the remote.
We bought the MOST expensive aids we could get.
I don't think he's worn them 10 times.
When watching TV alone the sound is earsplittingly loud. He will wear Bluetooth headphones and watch a show with the CC on.
This just isn't the hill I want to die on. He's making the choice not to work with the aids and not to get used to them. I'm making the choice to only watch TV with him that has CC.
I do make sure he sees my lips when I am talking to him and we don't do phone conversations. Texts only. I have to know that he SAW my comments.
He misses so much--I'm sorry his macho attitude keeps him from enjoying our grands. But he will not wear those H/A's to have a better life and certainly not for me.
I know this is the way it is for many people.
Mom only qualified for one hearing aid. She still could barely hear. The other ear couldn’t be helped with a hearing aid.
She had an issue with ear wax. When I took her to the audiologist they have a person that cleans ears. Oh my gosh, she removed a piece of wax about the size of a dime out of mom’s ear. I was shocked!
I constantly had to clean her hearing aid to remove the wax buildup.
I got so tired of screaming that sometimes I would write a note and let mom read what I had to say. I had to write large because eyesight isn’t as sharp either in our elders.
One day, out of pure frustration of becoming hoarse, I looked online for ideas.
I discovered that there are voice amplifiers that are sold on Amazon. Teachers use them, etc. I wish that I had ordered one to try. My mom died at age 95 but she started losing her hearing many years before that.
I am not trying to be harshly critical of anyone who is suffering with hearing loss. I had a neighbor who was deaf and he taught me to do sign language. He was an excellent lip reader.
My mom would read lips some. I first noticed this when she would tell me to face her when I spoke. She needed me to speak slowly to be able to read my lips.
I have some hearing loss from going to very loud rock concerts when I was younger. I also have chronic tinnitus but I am use to it, so it rarely bothers me.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Which is the next problem - if they are not wearing the hearing aids regularly - adjusting to hearing better all of the time is actually making things worse. It actually makes it more difficult to hear if they only throw them in for special occasions because they are not adjusted to them, and have to reorient to having them in every single time - which can throw their equilibrium, concentration and comprehension of what is being said off entirely! In other words, makes the whole experience confusing - AND if more than one source of sound is going on - forget it - they can not keep up. My grandmother will just sit and close her eyes if more than one of us is talking because it becomes a big ball of noise.
I agree, good headphones, closed captioning. You may even be able to consider a bluetooth speaker next to where he sits that would not have to be turned up as loud because it would sit wherever he sits (we did this with my FIL for a bit). That way the speakers on the TV do not have to travel all the way across the room, just from right next to him. We have also found that FIL will turn the TV up to full volume and then watch videos on his phone at full volume. We have pulled into his driveway and as soon as we get out of the car we can hear the sounds!! So I totally sympathize. I would probably remove the remote or the batteries!!
There are also wearable speakers and personal sound amplifiers on the market that might be helpful!
"Hearing impairment is regarded as the greatest risk for dementia among the 12 modifiable risk factors in 2020. Our investigation elucidated that hearing impairment is related to the risk for cognitive decline, brain atrophy and tau accumulation. (Nov 7, 2022)"
Dad's doctor should be telling him that he needs to wear the best hearing aids that money can buy. And he needs to be wearing them all the time. If Dad already has any degree of cognitive decline, his inability to hear will make his decline worse. Unfortunately, if Dad has dementia, his ability to understand why he has to wear hearing aids is probably gone, along with his empathy for others and many abilities he once had.
I'm sorry for the problem. It certainly seems like Dad is his own worst enemy. Maybe yours too.