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I come to this site asking for help. My dad is in a rehab. He is 2 hours away from me. I don't have the capability physically to get down there. I am disabled and walking is an issue. He is married and I don't get along with his wife. We had a falling out. Anyway she is the only one that is allowed to know anything about him or advocate for him. I tried finding out info. They will not give it to me because I am not on the list. She refuses to put me on list and wants me to come and visit. I am trying to get a way down there but in the meantime I can't find anything out about my dad. What right as a daughter do I have?

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Unfortunately I think if your dad lacks capacity and his wife is his agent then you don't have any specific rights you could assert. You wrote that his wife wants you to come and visit, which could be an opening to reconcile? It could also just be her jerking you around, thinking there is no way you'll be able to get there so why not allow that. But in that case if you show up in person chances are you'll get some info. I'm sorry you're having to go through this - it is really hard to be excluded, especially when you know your dad would probably want you there and to have information.
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
Yes thank you for understanding. She is jerking me around. I need to get down there but am unable to without help. Waiting to see about the disability access . thank you so much
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Are you on Medicaid? They have transportation services that can help you. U may need to pay a small fee.
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
Yes I am on Medicaid . I am trying to get info on it. Access link is all I know. I have some other numbers to call tomorrow.
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Maybe it's never too late to make amends? He's been your father all your life. There is the legal side of things with the rehab, and the most important, is the personal side of things. And if she wants you to come and visit? That's what I think you said? Then go. Easier said than done, but maybe try to figure that out.
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
I would be down there already and not posting on a site if it were easy. The argument is not with him it is with her. She wants nothing to do with me. I already stated that I am unable to travel on my own. I can hardly walk right now. Thank you
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Jollyholly1967, it is my understanding that most rehab/nursing homes have just one person they call or will give information. Otherwise, the Staff would be on the phone all day making calls to dozens of people in just one family times the number of residents. I realize this doesn't seem fair, but rehab/nursing homes need to tend to the residents.

The only thing you can do is try to make amends with your step-mother. You can start by asking her how she is doing as she probably quite physically and emotionally exhausted. Then you can ask her how is your Dad doing. It's worth a try, but I realize it won't be easy.
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
Thank you. She won't talk to me. So it can't be done. I have tried.
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You dan't say why he is in rehab, unless your father is mentally incompetent HE is the person who can choose to add you as a contact and able to receive health information (as per HIPAA), not your step mother.
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
My father has Alzheimer's and is not competent. Ty though
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You basically have no rights if you don’t have a POA or your name on the lists. You can try to go down to the rehab in person but they still may not be able or willing to disclose things to you. Perhaps you could try to make amends with your step mom?
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Jollyholly1967 Apr 2019
Ty but it is too late to make an amends. I appreciate your response though.
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