My sister and I were raised by a single mother who was very physically, mentally and verbally abusive. My mother was resentful over the fact that she was very young, beautiful and ambitious, and our father had walked out and left her with two little girls to raise alone. He had new relationships, other marriages and other children, but provided nothing emotionally or financially for my sister and me. She wanted the freedom to go to college, date and live her life free from the burden of two little girls. She was gone most of the time and left my sister, who was a very young child, with the responsibility of caring for herself, the home and her younger sister (Me) during her constant absence. Instead of protecting these two little girls who were trying to care for and fend for themselves, a number of adults used this as an opportunity to sexually molest us. My sister became a very hurt, angry and rebellious child and directed much of her pain and bitterness toward me. She was very verbally abusive and EXTREMELY physically abusive toward me. Because of the neglect and abuse from all sides, I became a very frightened, timid, maladjusted and overall awkward child. In school, my sister was always thought of as the smart, clean, pretty one. I was the dirty, dumb and backward one who couldn't get it together, no matter what. The real problem was that the one who was suppose to be nurturing, teaching and taking care of me (Mom) was MIA most of the time. She was seldom there to cook meals, help with homework, baths or general supervision. As a result , I suffered horribly in all of these areas and many others.
My mother finally achieved her hard sought after college degree and got a teaching job. However, instead of then turning her attentions to her terrible neglected and abused little girls, she turned her attentions to romances with a number of married men and a litany of other bad decisions and choices. After being badly used financially by one of them and being left deeply in debt and deeply depressed, she embarked on a course of failed suicide attempts. She completely derailed her life and almost finished derailing mine and my sister's life. Being the smarter one, my sister was able to escape this horrible situation, went to college, became successful. She has seldom looked back and refuses to help our mother in any way.
FAST FORWARD FORTY YEARS
My mother is now mid-eighties and has been physically and mentally disabled since her final suicide attempt in 1970. She does not own a home and has no pension. SSI and Social Security is her only income. She lives in government subsidized housing and has been threatened with eviction due to extreme hoarding and filth in her apartment. I have remained in the picture trying to be of service and to keep her from being completely mistreated and exploited. I have gone above and beyond to help her. She has been extremely ungrateful, uncooperative, obstinate and nasty toward me. And it gets worse with each passing day. She seems to have some unfounded sense of entitlement and although she really has NOTHING, has maintained the same selfish arrogance she demonstrated when we were children.
While the former managers of her senior community where she lives had overlooked the hoarding and filthy living conditions inside her apartment, the New Management will not. The eviction process has already begun. The only alternative at this point is to try and find some kind of assisted living arrangement for her. She has rejected this straight out. She say she will not go to a nursing home or an assisted living facility under any circumstance. She says no one can make her go. When asked where she intends to go or what she intends to do, she refuses to answer.
At this point, my mother has three children and seven living brothers and sisters. None of them will help her or touch this situation in any way. I feel completely backed into a corner because of my efforts to be of service to her all of these years. She has not cooperated with me in my attempts to get her help inside her apartment. She refuses these services and has sabotaged all efforts to find alternative facilities. I think she plans to get evicted and force her way into my home.
After years of neglect and abuse as a child, due to her selfishness and arrogance, I was the one left in the home with her. My sister had finally extricated herself from this horrendous situation. Still being a minor, I was left there to witness mom's nervous breakdown. I found her when she overdosed on tranquilizers and had to be rushed to the ER. Two weeks later I was awakened from a sound sleep at two-thirty a.m. and found her with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.
My life has been a living hell because of this woman. Now she expects me to bring her into my home and live with her filth, hoarding and nasty attitude. If she rejects any notion of an assisted living or nursing home if one can be found. WHAT DO I DO ?