And he has taken all of her money. She literally has nothing left and now he doesn't want her living in his house. Can he just dump her out? Now that she has no money left, he is wanting others to take her in - who live out of state. Not sure what to do here.
About the money, if all she had was her SS check coming in each month, that could be explained as going to household expenses. I lived with my father and explained to the Medicaid caseworker we shared expenses for a variety of things for the house. It shouldn't be a problem getting Medicaid. If however, brother took a large sum out of her savings, that could be a different story. There may be a penalty period.
I would suggest telling brother no, sorry, but you can possibly help place her. You can also try contacting APS. if they show up and your brother is not there and mom is all alone, they may take her and put her in the hospital. There was a recent post here where that scenario actually happened. Brother can call APS as well and let them know he is unable to safely watch mom 24/7.
He can't just "dump her out" or leave her someplace, he'll likely get arrested. But he can try to find placement for her (don't let it be you or other family), or contact a social worker and let her know he needs assistance.
It’s sad that an older person is penalized when their child takes advantage of them. I understand that rules can’t be broken but it’s awful for the parents.
How long ago did he get this money? If it is past the 5 year look back he will have no problem getting mom on medicaid and then into a facility. It is is within the 5 year look back he will have to give moms money back to her so she can private pay for a facility until her money runs out and then she will go on medicaid.
I would stay out of it if I were you, unless you want to move mom in with you.
Your mother lived with your brother, and all he has to say is that she gave it to him, that is if there is even proof she every HAD any money.
And no one can prove otherwise, as mother has dementia.
So as far as any case against your brother legally, I would guess you have no case at all.
Your mother has (apparently, and unbeknowst to you) gifted all of her money to her son, when she was still well or when she was suffering dementia is unknown.
That was her right if she was competent, as she lived with him.
Now her care is too much for your brother, and you need to understand it would be too much for you as well.
The rest of the family should refuse to become involved. You were not involved before, so why would you suddenly become so.
When brother calls he should be given advice to attempt to see an elder law attorney.
He may or may not be her POA but it is likely, given the ease with which he took her funds that he is. He may even be the payee for her Social Security.
Your mother in now a legal resident at his home and his home is her residence.
He cannot evict her because she has Alzheimer's and that would be abandoning a relative when they are unable to care for themselves.
This is basically is problem now.
None of you should attempt to take on care of your mother unless you are fully capable and willing to take on 24/7 care of someone with dementia, and understand fully what the means to your own families and your own life.
Tell brother to contact an Elder Law Attorney for his options to place mother, on Medicaid, in care.
No one reported brother to APS in all this time; you were all likely not informed he was taking all her money? But now may be a good time to ask APS to do a wellness check.
Someone will need to take on the role of Mom's advocate/guardian/caregiver. If you cannot, turn to the State. Each one has an Area on Aging which has options counselors who help families learn what's available for them.
It's not fair that Mom become a hot potato at this stage in her life. Can you put heads together with other family to figure out a sustainable solution for Mom, either in someone's home or otherwise? And, depending on the progression of her AD, involve her.