You are eligible for a survivor’s benefit under the VA Aid and Attendance program. It is a means tested program, however, and you must show that your qualified medical expenses exceed your income by a certain percentage. Thankfully, assisted living, memory care, etc. are considered qualified medical expenses. We hired an elder care attorney who specializes in VA issues to help us with the process. We’re still waiting on the determination from the VA, but hiring help was worth every penny.
Making an appointment with your local va office is your best bet. Have one set up for MIL in 2 weeks time. I do know most are a needs based but may be able to help with some in home care. I don't know how long your husband was enlisted or if he was deployed overseas, that also seems to be one of the criteria too. If there's not a local va office, check with your senior services center because sometimes the va comes there to make things easier.
There is Aids and Attendance that widows can receive. You have to show a need. I would call your county VA office and ask them what you need to apply.
It has been mentioned that some widows get a "pension". Not sure if this is Aid and Attendance or not. I was under the impression, that unless a serviceman pays into a pension for his wife, she is not entitled to his if he served 20 yrs. My BIL is a retired Major and his wife claimed at one time, that she was not entitled to it if he died. But things change. A lot has to do with years served, too. A man serving 4 yrs is not going to get the same thing that a man serving 20 yrs and retired will get.
There is a survivors pension for low income widows/widowers of wartime veterans. It’s not something the veteran had to pay in to, or retire from the military in able to be eligible for it.
GA gave you the best advice, so don’t take this as necessarily true. My dad just received something from the VA as a Korean era veteran. He asked while he was there about benefits for widows of veterans as he knows some and was told there weren’t any, that benefits were only for veterans. That’s from one person at the VA, so you should check for yourself and not take that as true
Your best bet is to (a) research the VA benefits for spouses at the VA online, and/or (b) locate the closest VA office, either county or state, and make an appointment. If the latter don't exist, contact the closest VA hospital and ask to speak either to one of the service agencies if they have offices there, or a social worker. There's also an 800 VA number you can call.
The services agencies include American Legion and VFW. They offer advice free. Whatever you do, don't pay a company to help you. It's illegal for anyone to charge to help obtain benefits.
It has been mentioned that some widows get a "pension". Not sure if this is Aid and Attendance or not. I was under the impression, that unless a serviceman pays into a pension for his wife, she is not entitled to his if he served 20 yrs. My BIL is a retired Major and his wife claimed at one time, that she was not entitled to it if he died. But things change. A lot has to do with years served, too. A man serving 4 yrs is not going to get the same thing that a man serving 20 yrs and retired will get.
The services agencies include American Legion and VFW. They offer advice free. Whatever you do, don't pay a company to help you. It's illegal for anyone to charge to help obtain benefits.