My husband is in a memory care community. The community has had extremely limited visiting (on some weeks, not all) during Covid.

Family can sign up, in advance, for one 15-minute visit per week. The visits are held in the open-sided parking garage, where a PVC framework has been built. The resident and visitor have to sit on opposite sides of a plastic curtain, and wear masks - with absolutely no touching or passing of objects.

While I respect the precautions, my husband does not retain that there is a pandemic. He wanders, and is very often insisting that I pick him up and take him home.

I feel that the strangeness of this visitation would upset, rather than comfort, him. I strongly believe he would simply walk out of the garage and look for the car to go home, and therefore the visit would become a major upset.

He has only been in the community since late November, and I have thus far simply “visited” him via zoom - and not in person.

(The director is adamant in her weekly email that they will make no exceptions to the current visitation policy).

The community has had one vaccine clinic, and the second is scheduled. I have been told that they will look at easing restrictions after the second vaccine, but no specifics.

I am concerned that residents and staff have been given the option of whether or not to vaccinate. Since there will likely be residents who are unvaccinated, I fear this will mean a continuation of not allowing visitors in the community.

What are my husband’s, and our family’s, rights to in-community visitation in this unprecedented time?

Also, realize that the Govenor's of each state set the rules. If they don't allow the reopening of their State it won't reopen.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

Whatever rights I may think I have, or you may think you have, the “rights” of the virus are really the only ones that are untrammeled by any ideas any of us have about the physical safety and emotional and psychological of those whom we love, and keenly miss.

In my own situation, my LO has had TWO possibly distinct cases of Covid, and much to my chagrin, I’m presently recovering from my own case.

And ALL of us need to be aware that as of yet nobody REALLY KNOWS when or if we are able to declare ourselves free of the responsibility of carrying infection to others, or when we are vulnerable to the exposure of virus carried by someone else.

My position has been that I CANNOT support ANYTHING that could expose my LO to a THIRD infection. But then, I know NOTHING about her quality of life except for an occasional brief phone call from her caregivers.

So having had Covid myself, and knowing that my LO is physically well cared for, and nothing else, my question INEVITABLY circles back to my question when I learned last April that she’d contracted Covid for the first time-

Will I ever see her alive again? Will I ever be able to hug her and tell her I love her and how much I’ve missed her? Will she remember me and speak to me by name as she did all those months ago when I saw her in person for the last time?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to AnnReid

There is no guarantee that this vaccine will work for everyone. You may still get COVID just maybe not as bad where it will kill you. I doubt that nursing homes and ALs will open up until the numbers of people getting the virus goes down considerably. There is no way we will know the long term effects or efficiency of the vaccine until some time has gone by. It was produced too fast.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

Each facility will be making its own decisions. Get your own vaccination as soon as you are able. This may make it easier to visit. There are not "rights" that I know of at this time other than removing your husband from the facility and taking him home, which is likely a very bad option.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
MACinCT Feb 10, 2021
I am in the same situation. Mom is vaccinated but visits are on hold because the state has the highest number of cases and some of their staff and unlocked residents are still testing positive. I cannot do FaceTime because mom ishard of hearing beyond her amplifiers.
I am comfortable with this because the MC has her best interests and she is content
Unfortunately the facility can set their own policy on family visits. You don't have any legal right to override that. Hopefully after the second vaccine is given the visiting policy will be loosened. The necessary COVID protocol has been difficult for both families and LOs and has created a lot of angst.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to sjplegacy

Individual facilities retain the right to make their own visitation policies. The vaccine cannot be made mandatory as it’s only being used under an emergency use authorization, so you’re correct that anyone has the option to decline it. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for your family, so sorry you and so many others are dealing with this
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Daughterof1930

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter