from the man (father in law and dad) that we have been helping? Our patriarch-95 years old-is threatening to sue his children and spouses (5 of us) because we helped him to get into a nursing home. His wife of 74 years is in this home since May of 2016. Since her placement-from hospital to rehab to long care facility- he has been despondent, needy and failing. He had been living in a 2 story colonial, he has a stair chair lift, walkers, canes, grab bars, lifted toilet seats (all supplied and installed by one son-my husband). He has very bad knees, congestive heart failure, and had been eating poorly even though we had been fixing/getting his meals for him. Before his wife was taken to the hospital, he helped care for her-she slept most of the day on the couch, but he kept his eye on her, fixed meals, helped her dress, etc. 3 weeks ago, he decided he couldn't live without her. He needed someone to spend the night, and be with him all day. My husband called her nursing home, and finally arranged a bed for him. They suggested we take him to the hospital as a way of getting him placed there sooner. He was agreeable to all this. As was his general practitioner. He spent a week in the hospital- regaining his strength, being on anti-anxiety meds-eating well and being well taken care of. One of us visited him every day. This past Wednesday he and we were told he would be placed in the nursing home, for rehab. He was agreeable. The next day my husband and I showed up at the hospital. Waiting for Medical Motors Service, the 3 of us talked about getting his house ready to sell, selling the contents of the house, and putting all the proceeds into a trust FOR HIS AND HIS WIFE'S CARE. He agreed to it all and said thank you. Something happened on the way to the nursing home, for when we got there we were faced with a man in a rampage. He didn't even want to spend time with his wife. He thought he was going to be in a room with her (an eventuality, but not immediate since he was doing rehab-something he was well aware of) long sad story made short, my husband and I eventually left after 1.5 hours, hoping he would calm down. Instead he rolled himself to the lobby, called the local sheriff and said he was being held against his will, and had been abandoned. He refused meds, food, and care, and the nursing home called Medical Motor Services, who took him back to the hospital. That is where he is now. He calls my brother in law (the oldest) yells at him and hangs up (at 1:30 a.m.) They go to the hospital- he tells them we have all been disowned and he doesn't want to see any of us.And that includes grandchildren. Today he has told them that he is getting a lawyer to draw up a legal document to keep all of us off his property, and that if we step foot on his property we will be arrested. We do all the mowing, upkeep, get the mail, water his plants check on things for him. The hospital told my brother in law and wife that they found him to be incompetent, that he was unable to make his own decisions about his care. We live in New York State. Does this also mean that he cant engage in legal things as well? we don't need to go to his house, but this is such an abrupt change of heart, we are having a real hard time coming to terms with this. He is a WW2 Battle of the Bulge Lt. Colonel who has always put family first. He has also always known how to stand up for himself (and his family) when needed, He is a tough old man, Any suggestions? Any advice? We are quite literally at the end of our ropes.