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My 92 year old mother who now lives with me on the east coast because she was getting no help from my worthless brothers on the west coast, is now accusing me constantly of stealing money from her accounts. I love my mother very much and have not ask for a dime since she moved here, but it sure would be nice if I would offer something in return for all that I am doing for her. Not even a thank you....I am starting to resent having moved her here. Because she now thinks I have become the town thief, how do I proceed legally to become her power of attorney???? It's not a position I want but there is no one else to step up to it. Help.

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First step is to find a CERTIFIED elder law attorney and one who charges by the task not the hour. They will meet with both of you most likely and be able to determine if your mother is competent enough to sign off on the paperwork or if guardianship is necessary, which then may lead to a geriatric assessment to confirm the diagnosis. They will also tell you about caregiver agreements and those can be written any number of ways so that you are compensated somehow. Also need to review her will...As hard as it is to believe, you are not the first to be in this predicament. The professional help will be worth the investment and save you loads of grief down the road, especially if you can avoid guardianship or are determined to be next of kin...
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Reply to gdaughter
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If your mom as dementia, I'm sorry, but it is probably too much to ask for her to appreciate what you are doing for her. I think that part of her brain could be gone and you just kind of need to do what you need to do without that. If she could, she would want to thank you.
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Reply to againx100
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oh...should of said "off to court" for DPOA or Guardianship
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Reply to slp1684
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Start with an elderly law attorney, since other questions will probably be asked of your mother and her wishes. Ask about a trust, as well. For example, trust can handle ,DPOA plus medical patient advocate, inheritances and if she may not be unable to make a decision who will. If she cannot make a decision currently (has to be documented by several physicians), then she can't sign anything. OFF to COURT you go for guardianship- but your brother would have to sign off with the guardianship.
It's not fun completing the process for your mom. Emotions get involved and the drama starts with family, hence stress.
Be sure your mom has a full medical and mental evaluation.
My experience with physicians evaluation, if she could count to 10, know her name, birthday, month and year, spell word "world" backword, then my moms comment back to physican _"you do it first" "lets see you do it" , she always passed the competences tests, but her judgements/decision making were "off"; and only people who are closes t mom, who know her or live with her realizes that. Best to you and hang in there..
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Reply to slp1684
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I doubt if Mom thinks your stealing that she will assign you POA. And if she has Dementia, she can't make an informed decision to assign you. The next step would be guardianship that can be expensive. Medicaid does allow the use of her money for this.

Does Mom have money? Maybe a nice AL would be better. If she has enough money for two years or more, some facilities will take Medicaid after her money is gone. If they haven't hit the % of Medicaid residents they allow.

What do you think having POA will do for you? To handle her money or health she has to be deemed incompetent. It won't stop her from saying ur stealing her money. Maybe ur brothers had a reason not to help.
Mom needs a full workup. Labs and maybe a neurologist. And if you find there is no physical problems and its Dementia, you may be able to deal a little better and make better decisions.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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See an elder law attorney with your mom. Only she can select a POA. Attorney may determine that mom is not aware enough to sign paperwork. Attorney paid by mom. If mom is not able only recourse is to pursue guardianship through the courts.
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Reply to gladimhere
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