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Or how to determine which stage my mother is in? Mom no longer try to use the regular bathroom she just sit and use her pull ups. I hate cleaning her behind, but I know it has to be done. She walks and usually is always messing with things, therefore, I have to really watch her 24/7 to make sure she's not getting into the wrong thing. She constantly walks without her walker, again, 24/7 telling her to get her walker. She's on bleed thinner and I really don't want her to fall. I understand that she has dementia, but there are times when I really see her old nature (her stubbornness) especially when I tell her to do something and if she doesn't want to do it, she usually just look at me and just stand there. This really causes me to get upset, but I am learning to walk away. I hear many say, "if it's not a harm to them, then let them do." I really don't agree. Maybe it is a battle of the will! Thank you for allowing me to air out. I usually write my prayers, but it also helps to have others who are sharing the same problems to give you encouragement. Thanks!

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I think that one of the reasons the stages are of importance is that we want to know how to plan for the level of care our loved one will need down the road.

My cousin is in assisted living, but they sometimes seem to rely on me to take care of matters instead of them doing it. Because of this, I'm looking into Dementia Units. However, I think the patient has to be at a certain stage in order to qualify for these facilities.

Plus, I think we as care givers need to prepare ourselves for the loved ones abilities. As I read about the stages for Vascular Dementia, which they are leaving towards with my cousin's diagnosis. (tests are scheduled soon) I discovered the ability to walk is very effected. I had not been aware of that. I now know that in the next stage my cousin my have to go to a wheelchair. As a result, I'm going to be addressing that with her orthopaedic doctors in addition to her Neurologist and GP. She has been saying her legs hurt and she's so unstable on her feet. She has terrible balance. This all makes sense now.
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Alzheimer's Dementia (AD) is the kind of dementia that has been studied the most, and there have been stages identified for it. But approximately 40% of all elders who have dementia have some other kind. All kinds get worse over time, but not all kinds progress in predictable stages.

For example, my husband had Lewy Body Dementia. He knew me and other people until the day he died holding my hand. That is typical of LBD. (It is typical of AD for people eventually not to be able to recognize loved ones.) In AD hallucinations often occur toward the end; in LBD they are usually one of the first symptoms.

So it is very hard to generalize about what "stage" someone is in without knowing more about the diagnosis, and even then there are lots of variations between individuals.

Why are you interested in knowing what stage she is in?

It sounds like she is at point, or very close to it, where she is too ill for one person to care for in a private home. Have you considered having some in-home help? Or sending Mom to a day health center for a few hours a week? Eventually she may need a long term care facility. Are you thinking about that?

I agree with MizVic that researching and learning more about dementia and how to interact with persons who have it might be very helpful. It certainly was for me. But essentially you have to deal with it one day at a time, with whatever is presented at that time. You also have to plan ahead to the time when you cannot do the caregiving alone. I think you may be at that point.
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Sounds like mid stage. Later she won't know you. She will talk less, eat less and sleep more. Keep her walking as long as you can.
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I have been researching a lot and you should too, but this one particular website explains things much more thoroughly than others I've read. Good luck!

http://dementia.americangeriatrics.org/
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