I have been Mother's caregiver now for 18 months and my Older sister and brother are in agreement that mother will not be returning back home to be cared for. Initially my sister took 4 months to forward any financial assistance for Mom's Health Care, and only then because I asked her and going forward, when and what she wants for Mother's Health Care.

Not only does this disturb me, early on while Mother was living at home, I have knowledge that she made payments of $500 for lawn care to my brother; has sold her & mom's older car & paid off a newer car under her name & Mom's; had a QCD prepared in which my incompetent Mother signed her first name only to Herself & my Older brother; to this date she pays for her and my nephews luxuries of life such as utilities (Cable, Lights, Water & Cell phone bills) And my sister has recently been given a diagnosis of MS and has waited 4 months for an appointment to do anything about it knowing she has had it for a long time at the time of being diagnosed.

I know that a guardianship is costly and quite frankly I can not afford it. Mom has no will. I hope someone can shed some light on this subject as I'm not like the other siblings who are like waiting for mother to pass, I'm grateful to have her in my life and I genuinely care what happens to her and her assets going forward!!

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As I understand your posting, your sister has Durable Power of Attorney for Finances and for Healthcare for your Mother.

In regards to your initial question, "What are the requirements to become Personal Representative of Mother's Social Security if my sister has control over her bank account/s?"

You need to go to the Social Security Administration website and look at their regulations.  SSA DOES NOT accept Power of Attorney documents!!  They require that the person who is receiving the Social Security benefits assign someone as their "Representative Payee".  So even if your sister has control of your Mother's bank accounts, unless your Mother has named your Sister as the "Social Security Representative Payee", then she can not change where or how the SSA benefits are paid.  (In other words, if you become the "Representative Payee", then you change which bank account your Mom's SSA benefits/payments are deposited into.)  Copy and paste the website to your browser for the publication from SSA called "A Guide For Representative Payees".

If your Mom is going into a nursing home and your Sister plans to apply for Medicaid for your Mom, then there is a 5 year "Look-back" Period during which Medicaid looks for any monetary "gifts" that your Mom paid to your Sister, Brother or yourself.  All of the payments for lawn care and utilities (especially if your Mom is NOT currently living in that house) and buying a new car can be considered as "GIFTS".  And Medicaid might request that those monetary gifts be paid back to Medicaid or Medicaid might deny your Mom to receive any Medicaid benefits.

Like Ahmijoy suggested, if you have proof of Elder Fraud, then you need to consult an Elder Care Attorney ASAP.
Helpful Answer (3)
TinyBoy Apr 2019
Thank you for your information DeeAnna. My sister does not have any type of Power of Attorney what so ever. She is just being her normal self, being that she's the oldest of 4 kids she feels that with No Will, she has rights!

At this point, I'll use the references you gave me "A Guide For Representative Payees" and obtain an Elder Fraud Attorney. Thanks so much!
if you think you have solid proof of fraud, consult an attorney. There isn’t much you can do on your own without legal representation. .
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TinyBoy Apr 2019
Thank you Ahmijoy for all your help. I'll be looking for an Elder Fraud Attorney soon.
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