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Mom takes complete care of him and the house. Isn't there a program that would pay her as a care giver in this situation?

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Depending on your parents's situation, it is possible. While not easy, medicaid in many states will pay a spouse as a caregiver. If you dad has long term care insurance, that policy may also pay your mom to provide care.

Here are some links for you to check out.

https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/paying-spousal-caregivers
https://www.caregiver.org/spousal-pay-program
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2017/you-can-get-paid-as-a-family-caregiver.html

It's common enough that a spouse is paid to provide care that the IRS specifically offers guidance on it.

"Q 1: Must a taxpayer pay self-employment tax on the income she received from an insurance company to care for her spouse who was injured in an accident and permanently disabled? The taxpayer is caring for her spouse in their home in an effort to avoid moving him to a nursing facility and also to reduce care giving costs. The spouse requires assistance with dressing, bathing, eating, etc; the taxpayer also administers medication and helps with basic physical therapy. Taxpayer is neither a trained nurse nor therapist and doesn't provide such services to anyone other than her spouse. Taxpayer received Form 1099-MISC from the insurance company with the amount paid shown in Box 7 as nonemployee compensation.


A 1: No, the taxpayer does not owe self-employment tax on amounts reported on the 1099-MISC she received from the insurance company if she is not engaged in a trade or business of providing care giving services, as appears to be the case in this situation. The taxpayer must report the full amount of the payment on line 21, Other Income, of Form 1040."

https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/family-caregivers-and-self-employment-tax
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If they meet the criteria income wise they maybe able to get help thru Medicaid.
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Very few programs will pay a spouse. It is in both of your best interest for you to NOT be the caregiver. Bring in outside help. The area on aging can tell you what programs are out there & what he qualifies for.
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That depends on everyone's unique situation. For some people, it is in both the parents and the child interest for the child to be the caregiver. In many cultures, sending your parents to a NH is not a thing.
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No, I would look into what programs they do qualify for. Married couples are to care for each other, no pay involved.
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No. It is considered to be what spouses do for one another and there is a good reason for it.

Have you checked into what services they qualify for so that mom isn't carrying the entire load solo?
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