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My sister and I are having a real hard time right now. My mom is 78 and has sundowner’s syndrome. It has become so bad she pulled a gun on my dad and the caregiver then put the gun in her mouth. Luckily the gun was on safety. She has been kicked out of three nursing homes and three hospitals. No one can deal with her. She is being discharged or has to leave following an incident last night where she began fighting with nurses while sleepwalking. Today they told us they are discharging her don't and we have no idea where to take her. She can’t go home and my sister can’t watch her because she’s ready to have a nervous breakdown. I am disabled myself and unable to care for her, I tried once. She was throwing things at me and very verbally abusive. My sister has power of attorney and my dad medical and finance.
My dad is in a wheelchair and currently has a caregiver but she will no longer care for him after having a gun pulled on them. We have no clue what to do. They are in Arlington, TX (I’m in Houston) if anyone has suggestions in that area specifically.

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I would tell the hospital discharge that they need to petition the courts for an emergency guardianship because she is unsafe to return to the house.

They need to drug her to the hilt and her losing her rights to autonomy is the only way they can drug her against her will. Only a judge can do this and it can be done quickly by the hospital. This would get her back into a bed at a NH.

I am so sorry for your family's situation. Dementia is such an evil disease.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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A geriatric psychiatrist needs to medicate mother even to the point where she's sleepy and out of it most of the time. This is the purpose of being sent to a psych ward: for her to be properly sedated with meds!!

You cannot take her back home, as the others have explained.

Guns need to LEAVE THE HOME immediately.

Best of luck, I'm so sorry you and mom and dad are in such a horrible position. I will say prayers for all of you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You have to make it LOUD AND CLEAR to the facility she's in now that your mom CANNOT come home as there is no one there to care for her and that she is an "unsafe discharge."
The hospital or rehab will then have to find the appropriate facility to have your mom placed in.
You MUST stand your ground and continue using the term "unsafe discharge" until these people get it through their thick skulls that your mom CANNOT return home and needs to be placed.
There are medications to keep your mom more calm so make sure that her doctors are following up on that.
I wish you well in getting your mom placed soon.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Michaelblue May 2, 2025
Ok Thank you So So much this will really help us it so sad and hard to see mother go through this well Thanks again that's exactly what we are going to do God bless you Thank you for taking the time to reply this will really help us
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The next time she starts to verbally or physically abuse you, call 911 and tell them you don't know what wrong with her and she refuses to get medical help. Either the cops or EMTs will show up and get her to the ER (you can try telling them she might have an untreated UTI because ERs don't consider dementia or mental health problems as medical emergencies).

At the ER, talk to the discharge planner and tell them she is defnintely an "unsafe discharge" and you will not take her home under any circumstances. She is violent and refuses treatment. THey will hopefully transfer her to the psych wing of the hospital and keep here there until they can discount a UT and get her on meds for her agitation/aggression/violence.

The hospital kept my cousin with a UTI and violent behavior (and ALZ) for a month before she would comply with taking meds. She was eventually able to be released to a facility.

If possible, someone should video her violent behavior. Until she is out of the house please try to secure anything she can use as a weapon. I'm so sorry for this distressing situation.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Michaelblue May 2, 2025
Thank You so much that's some good info
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Do not take her back. In fact try to get a restraining order on her for brandishing a gun.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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