What are my options in Montgomery County for my mother?

Why does she owe so much to Hopkins? Was she on chemo treartments? (My sister lived in Columbia and was treated there) Did she use non-Medicare Doctors? Does she not have a supplemental. Have you checked with Hopkins about Charity help. My Gson went to Cooper and had a 6k deductible. He had paid some of it. Cooper paid all but about $400. Moms SS should not be going to pay Medical bills. Like said, there r payment plans. Who is ordering these procedures?

Time for Mom to have a place of her own. Love my daughters but we can't live together and I am 73.

Assuming your mother is competent and able to take care of herself , perhaps you could check your local county website for services for seniors . They may have HUD senior apartments . The rent is based on monthly income . I believe there is also a maximum amount of savings , assets allowed to qualify for these lower rent apartments . Once you’ve found some alternative places , you will have to say to mother that this is not working living together and that you will help her find a place . She can go on a payment plan for her medical bills. Sounds as if there is something strange going on with 4 MRIs in one week. Is she looking for attention ? Has she always gotten frequent testing ? Does she have medical problems besides depression that is in your profile ?
If she is competent , she can make poor decisions and you can’t do anything about that . You’ve already said she refuses a therapist. If you think there may be some dementia going on and you are concerned about her ability to live on her own , perhaps you could contact her doctor , let him/her know your concerns , and the next time she goes ( since it’s often anyway ) he/she could try to do an assessment . Good luck .

(((HUG)))

Welcome, unfortunately, to the club of abusive and difficult moms, whom we’re helping while we get abused. We are many. I think the other club (the club of sweet moms) has about 5 members.

“She loses her temper all the time”

Yup.

OP, as you know, if she’s mentally competent you can’t force her into a facility.

She lives with you in your house? Then you ask her please to find another place. You live in her house? Then you’ll have to move. You must have already considered moving, so what’s stopping you? Finances? Often daughters end up with their mothers because the daughter is broke.

Living as an adult with one’s mom (even sweet moms) is very difficult. It’s impossible (super damaging to one’s mental/physical health) if the mom’s abusive.

If all her SS goes to repaying Johns Hopkins, then I take it she is living with you for free and doesn't contribute at all financially? How long has she lived with you? How and why did that come to happen?

When you find somewhere else for her to live, who is going to pay for that?

Are you her POA? HCPOA? Are YOU her sole plan for caregiving as she ages? Do you have any siblings?

Your profile says that she is 67. What about a 55 and up senior apartment?