Mom is 99 and has Lewy-Body Dementia with some vascular dementia as well. Her body is strong and robust, but it seems that every few weeks another few gears in her brain cease to function. We can still communicate. She still walks with a walker. Tranquillity absorbent underwear takes care of incontinence issues most of the time. But her knees are painful enough that sometimes she needs help getting up. She weighs 190; I weigh 145. With tools I can manage without injury, but worry about what’s next. Getting her in and out of a car is nigh onto impossible, so outings are almost nonexistent for her. Her ownership of a farm is all that stands between her and Medicaid eligibility and I have found an Eden Alternative long-term care center that I like and trust and think she will like. And I do look forward to having the freedom to do spontaneous trips with my husband again. The dilemma is financial. Should we pay a lawyer and liquidate the farm to pay for her care there? Or should I tough it out a while longer? She has lived with us for 9 years of slow but steady decline. Even though she is comparatively easy, I’m about worn out. Now this is where it sounds heartless. If I thought she was going to reach 100 then pass on, I could cope with another year and it would seem the financially responsible thing to do. But if she’s going to live another 5-10 years, the whole formula changes. I realize there’s no right answer here, unless it is that I should have planned better around the 5-year Medicaid look-back. I didn’t. We’ve discussed the alternatives until we are blue in the face. Any thoughts, insights, experience, or advice? Mostly I’m looking for windows onto paths I may have totally missed so far. Thanks for helping me think.