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I've been at this by myself for over 2 years and I'm finding that I get very angry very quickly over nothing. I hit the stop button on my life to take care of my father and I haven't been able to hit the go button yet.

I feel the same way. Mostly, I hung on & endured until recently, when I saw a bad change in my personality. I hate asking for help, (but that's how I got to this point). Today I googled "therapist near me", & phoned a few to hear their own description of their methods. (I think hearing their voice is also a good way to get a vibe about them). Anyway, it's free to call. I have my first appt Friday. It's probably the most money I'm ever going to spend on myself, but I have to do it now, before I have even more regrets. No more cappuccino though, lol. (P.S. Don't forget to pray.) Good luck...✌☺🙋
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Reply to Tiger55
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In an earlier answer, the different kinds of Doctors have been touched upon with regard to insurance, but I also want to add that the type you seek really depends on the kind of treatment you are seeking. You may need to see more than one.

A psychiatrist (MD or NP) usually offers mainly medication management.

A psychologist can offer therapies other than medication, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, coping skills etc. primarily focusing on you and your personal needs.

A counselor will probably be more likely to offer practical advice regarding your relationship and do more 2-way talk therapy.

A social worker will probably be more geared toward focusing on the needs of the person you are caring for and work with you to discover how you can best meet those needs while taking care of yourself as well. Social workers are better than others for directing you toward resources that might be available to help your situation.

this is just my experience and of course there is some overlap.
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Reply to exintrovert
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You may want to see a psychiatrist who can give you an rx for an anxiety med.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Just a caution that different kinds of therapists are often covered differently by insurance; your plan should be able to tell you--but check carefully! A psychiatrist (M.D.) may be covered the same way as other M.D.s (or not!), while a psychologist may not. Clinical social workers who do therapy are sometimes not covered at all (but sometimes are), but if not, they're usually quite a bit less out of pocket than other providers. Also, some psychiatrists emphasize prescribing medications and do very little or no therapy, which may be OK if they share an office with a clinical psychologist. Your problems sound as if they are primarily situational, which doesn't means that medication wouldn't be of help, but that actual therapy is probably essential. You thus may prefer to start with a clinical psychologist or clinical social worker. Your doctor may be able to suggest psychologists, also, and your plan may have a list. I agree with the writer who suggested an initial consult before making a decision.
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Reply to caroli1
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Good advice so far. I will add that having a therapist who is over 50 and has other clients dealing with family and elder care issues is a very important trait to look for. As a woman, I also preferred to work with a female therapist. Agism and sexism, some might acuse. Meh! Get over it.
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Reply to jjmummert
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A therapist will certainly be helpful in pointing you in the right direction and understanding your feelings.
Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. Start with recommendations from your own Dr and friends. Look them up if you can and see if you feel they may be someone who you can relate too.
Make an appointment for a getting to know you first visit. Make it clear that this is what the visit is about. At the end if you feel comfortable tell the therapist and make another appointment. Otherwise move on to someone else on your list and do the same thing till you find someone who gives your their whole attention and empathizes with your situation. By that I mean no phone calls no slyly looking at their cell phone. In fact I prefer to see it put in a drawer. This is about you. Make sure you are comfortable in their consulting room, some have some weird ideas about decorating.
You have free will so if you feel therapy is not for you and you would rather talk to a trusted friend then do just that..
I was in the hospital once and one night in tears not really about anything and the next morning the psychiatrist came in to see me. She was such a lovely person, just sat on the bed and chatted, no notebook or laptop just a very pleasant visit. At other times I have seen others i would never go back to.

Of course you get angry and it is not about nothing. You are trapped in a situation and see no way out. There is always something you can do to change things but oft times caregivers feel it is not fair to the loved one they are caring for, but do they ever think it is fair to you. Of course not it is your duty as they looked after you. NO it's not they choose to have children and should have realized the responsibility that went with that decision.
So you are not required to pay them back in kind. You certainly should make sure to the best of your ability that they are safe and properly cared for but not necessarily by you. If they clearly refuse needed care it is again the familiy's responsibility to take steps that they get that care even if you have to involve authorities.
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Reply to Veronica91
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