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My father drinks himself to sleep every night. I know its alcoholism; its been in the family for decades. I know from having been there, before I got some help, that unless he really wants to, he can never quit. He will never quit. And I refuse to be the womens temperance union who requires that at 91, he give up the only thing he thinks brings him comfort. it just doesn't seem right to me. Why? so he can live longer?

As I make sure he is safe every night I wonder if his lack of access to alcohol could be part of why he is so insistent that I not bring in help. Or he not go to assisted living? He will not discuss it with me; but I need to know. Anyone have wisdom on this subject?

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theres an 82 year old man renting the upstairs of my house. he drinks beer pretty much all day long and isn't on the first medication. go burly is all I can say. thin, healthy man.
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I had the same thing with my mom. It's hard to say the least. My mom was falling from too many. Don't feel bad with putting him in an assisted living environment. I had to do that for the sanity of our household. Your dad will make you feel like a demon from hell. He will adjust. Believe me. I've been down that path. Hugs to you getting to the other side. It sucks, big time.
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You statements are a bit confusing to me. You say he drinks himself to sleep every night, but then you state that his lack of access to alcohol may be why he won't bring in help? I can only tell you my experience with this. My FIL drank vodka for breakfast for years, up until the age of 88. When he was forced from his home (condemned) he was hospitalized for a short time and then we moved him to an independent living facility. He did not have much access to alcohol there, though we did occasionally find nips in his drawer. It just seemed to lessen after he was no longer home alone all the time. He adjusted just fine, and when we moved him to assisted living, they would have happy hour with non-alcoholic drinks. My main fear when he drank was that he was already way too unsteady and it would cause a fall. He did fall many times in his old house, but I think all the piled up trash prevented him from hurting himself. We could not stop him, but time and circumstances did. I wish you luck as this is a very difficult thing to deal with.
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At 91, let him drink. I mean, really, it's way too late to stop him now. If that's where he finds his comfort, so be it. Taking the alcohol away from a 91 year old alcoholic can also result in a backlash of unsavory issues, like withdrawal, which could kill him at his age, too. Let it go. I would.

I bought a little picture of a guy sitting in a chair holding a bottle of beer. It said, "I have a few good reasons for drinking, and one has just entered my head. If a man can't drink when he's living, how the hell can he drink when he's dead?" My dad was an alcoholic, too. He drank till the day he died. You can't 'save' anyone who doesn't want saving.. and at his age, well.... He's going to die of something sooner or later. Let him go with whatever peace he can find...even if it's in a bottle. That's how I'd handle it. *hugs*
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Thanks Perseverance. that solved everything for me. Its that simple. Duh.
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You mean to tell me you buy him alcohol to feed his addictions? Sorry, but that is shameful. Stop it.
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