Mom has been at our house and I have gained 38 pounds in 5 months. She has dementia and screams at night (this has shot my sleep). I care for her 24/7. I could use some coping method suggestions that don't involve opening the fridge.
Debby: Are you sure that you didn't inherit a hereditary thyroid factor from your mother? I did. I was never overweight until I inherited Hypothyroidism from my late mother. I was always a size 10-12 till I zoomed up to size 16. So although my daily caloric intake is not high, I can only lose a few pounds, even with exercise.
I have worked with dementia pts. I find it odd the minute some meet you; you become their personal servant. I've even been ordered to bring coffee and breakfast to someone's bed. Staff wasn't even it to make breakfast yet lol. Maybe they feel more in control by ordering someone around? I know all about the micromanagement too. Makes one wonder if this is the dementia, or were they that way?
For those who like to eat, and who doesn't? Try some nice cream. Frozen bananas and various fruit. Blend separate, then mix. Keep frozen cut up banannas, raspberries, mangos and strawberries in freezer. Put in blender. It is very good. Or some sugar free jello on occassion. A baked apple with lots of cinnamon, or any frozen fruit turned into sorbet using a blender. I cut up a small watermellon, put in blender and strained. Kept in ball jar. Made watermelon smoothies and a drink. Was a great treat. It made a lot of drinks. How about weight watchers popsicles/ ice cream, or fruit bars? How about a choc p. Butter smoothie with protein powder, cocoa, a tablespoon of natural p. Butter. They also make it in a protein powder too. Add a frozen banana and it's a shake. Or a banana split using a banana cut in half, drizzled with some choc syrup. (1Tbs) and a bit of granola pieces. The choc and banana really seemed decadent. You can look up desserts for those watching weight and not feel deprived. How about that decadent coffee/tea you wanted to try but didnt. I made passionfruit tea. Was really good. You dont have to go to a coffeeshop. Youtube shows you how to do it. YouTube/Pinterest has lots of ideas for distressing & food.
If parent is up for it, take a walk around the block. Better than nothing. Tell them you both need to walk the dog lol. I know it's not always that simple. How about a good book so your mind can escape. Take a relaxing bath with a lit candle, music, ebsom salts, and good e-book, Or one that reads to you. Buy that bath additive you normally would save for special occassion. Put on some perfume after your bath. Anything to help your mind distress and escape just for a bit helps. How about a manicure at home? Add in little things to help you, even it's it's meditation for 5 mins. Sit in car and listen to fab song. You know the one that makes you feel you can take on the world.
See if you can get away to a park, or meet with a friend for coffee, or a meal. How about a check in ph call? You have to take care of yourself too. The littlest thing can help you distress. If you don't, your health will suffer too. Good luck.
Dear Debby1 Me too!! I am in the midst of struggling with the stress/eating, so no big help yet. At night I do a self-hypnosis exercise of counting from 10 to 1 going down a staircase to a lovely location. It helps me get to sleep - I will try that with weight loss/not stress eating. Important to just keep trying. Best Wishes
I sympathize. When you're constantly stressed, and isolated, what else is there to comfort you besides food and maybe tv, or games, a book, or some other distraction.
So maybe you can improve your distraction game a bit so you get comfort that isn't from calorie intake. What kind of games do you like to play? Can you find some new ones online that are of interest to you and turn to those instead of your next snack when you get stressed out? Homemade green veggie juices are surprisingly filling in my experience, and they are low calorie while being extremely nutritious so they do satisfy cravings, too, in my experience.
There's a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead that is widely available online for viewing, and it helped me during my caregiving crisis to find a way to put self care into action in my daily life. Watch that and see if anything resonates with you, and motivates you to make some changes. I personally found it very inspirational in the middle of a bad caregiving situation.
You need comfort, that much is certain, but you can find comfort in different ways, better ways for your mind and body. It's difficult to change old habits but there are online support groups, like this one! :-)
Sandy16: "I think I crave the sugar in the rubbish I eat as it gives me a little lift and it takes my mind off constantly repeating the same conversations. It’s bad enough hating the turn that my life has taken but I hate what I see in my mirror too. I don’t feel like I have the time or the energy to look after myself. People always say “make sure to look after yourself”, how am I supposed to do that when my life is consumed by caring for my mum? Shall I skip her meal and meds and pop off to an exercise class or maybe not worry about her medical appointments and go for a nice walk."
After I've been with my mother for any length of time, I feel so stressed and anxious that my mind turns to carbs and sugar.
Sandy, you are so right about the "take time for yourself" advice. Easily said, not easily done. And I'm someone that needs a LOT of time for myself. As in HOURS.
Hi Debby1, Sorry to hear about your situation :( My heart goes out to you! My suggestion would be when you're feeling stressed out, have you tried video games? I've never been a big gamer but I find it does help to cope with stress. There's a lot of free games you can play on your phone to keep you entertained and out of the refridge. My current favorite is Puzzles and Dragons. I agree with the other suggestions of having a stationary bike in the house. It's definitely a good way to get some exercise and not have to worry about leaving the house.
I think the best ability you could gain would be the ability to find a good care facility for mom and get back to your life. I would not want any of my kids to put their lives on hold for me.
Dusti22, I am not far behind you age-wise :) and a little taller but you have some really good ideas! And I had totally forgotten what you said about the scales and tape measure.... that is what I had done as well.... thanks for the reminder...
Stress releases hormones that encourage your body to hang on to weight. I found the section on weight control in Christiane Northrup's book 'The Wisdom of Menopause' helpful. Also, Maria Emmerich's 'Secrets to a Healthy Metabolism'.
The human body evolved with numerous stresses daily that it can deal with but when a 'super-stresser' happens then the body goes into self-protection mode - as this was often a famine/food shortage so I believe the body becomes out of balance & hoards calories more than normal - this means the body is becoming more effecient in absorbing food
Hematomichrosis is an inherited disease found mainly in people of northern European descent that the absorbs iron too effectively - this means women stay fertile in times of famine but is a silent killer to men & older women with iron being deposited in the internal organs - that is how some evolved to cope with super-stress events so the body probably has others too
But we need food as fuel to deal with our super-stressing loved ones - maybe seek a dietitian that could help you balance your food intake - make changes slowly & maybe buy vegetables or fruit that are pre-cut on a tray for more sensible snacking if time is a factor
Your body probably sees the stress you are under as a threat to your safety so it has adjusted but not how you would like with weight gain - at least you are aware of it & can modify your eating habits - you can't eat what is not in the house so shop after a meal when you can & make a list & stick to it - we plan our meal about 3 or 4 days in advance so that we can do extras to make a meal later in the week without much prep eg we roast a whole chicken on Tues so that we have the other half on Thurs with different side dishes - good luck
Hi Everyone, Was reading the posts and just had to add my "two cents". When I met my honey 30 years ago I weighed 98lbs (nope not married, not even common law). I have gained and lost and gained again over the years. (yep yo-yo syndrome...ha, ha,ha). But after my weight topping out at 206lbs I decided this had to go and started pushing away from the table when I would start feeling full. Just before my honey went in the hospital in May I had gotten down to 196lbs. Since he went into the hospital and subsequently rehab, I am now down to 183lb. My secret... I am eating lighter since I am not cooking for two (high protein/low sodium due to heart issue-snacks? not so much) As to snacking, I still do, but I just try to limit the amount of whatever I am snacking on. I am unable to anything as to exercise other than stretching exercises and chair exercise with light weights due to my back though that is improving and I hope to start walking short distances outside before too long. I do not have a high metabolism as mine is non-existent and I have a hormone imbalance due to a hysterectomy at age 23.
I feel so much better since I have dropped the 23lbs. Weighed this morning and I have leveled of and am holding that weight (183lbs) but at least I am not gaining. Hoping that I can start losing more soon though I know I will never get back to 98lbs, if I can get down to 136lbs (upper end of where I should be) I will be happy.
Everyone, I don't know how old everyone is (I am on the downhill side headed toward 67), but I was told by my doctor that due to my age, bone structure and height(4' 10 3/4") I should not try to get below 123lbs. She said as I age I should not try to get back to the weight that I was in my 20's and 30's that I should carry a little more than I did at that time. Dr also told me throw away the scales and use a tape measure. I do still weigh as I have heart failure and have to monitor my weight to make sure that I don't gain fluid I just don't do it daily unless I can tell I am gaining fluid.
When I get too stressed I work on my art. (I am a digital animal portrait artist and illustrator) My suggestion is if you have a hobby work on it when you are stressed. If you are snacking with the person that you are caring for, don't deprive yourself. Have those favorite snacks, but also alternate with some healthier snacks (ie: one night ice cream, the next maybe carrots with ranch dressing...that type of thing). Do what works best for you. (took me years to figure that out)
Don't give up, but don't stress about it. Stress will put weight on you as well. (have been reading some articles about it). And for Heaven's sake, don't look down on yourself or beat yourself up if you have gained weight. Oh, another thing my doctor told me? Get down to a weight that YOU feel comfortable with. Not what everyone else thinks you should be. (she was a wise lady).
I think the biggest problem people have is stress causes hunger - or something which feels like hunger and it's very easy through a horrendously busy day to lose track of what's already been consumed. Asking the questions: Am I really hungry or am I sad? Am I hungry or am I just thirsty? Thirst can sometimes trick someone into eating, so drinking a lot of water really does make people eat less. And I think the biggest problem caregivers have is losing track of what they've eaten already that day and believing they really "haven't had that much." We are so focused on providing care that we lose track of ourselves and we give in to what may or may not be legit hunger. I gained 10 lbs (at least) and I'm struggling to lose. Would have been better not to have gained it in the first place but our situation suddenly immersed me.
I thought I was only the one who was faced with this problem. Although I haven't gained a whole lot, it is a battle to stay away from the cookies and other desserts. Mine is boredom at night because my husband, who loves snacks, allows me to buy him everything sweet like ice cream, pies, and cakes. He is not fat but the temptation is sometimes overwhelming for me to stay away from his snacks. I now try to buy individual cakes, pie slices and candy. Anything that has a wrapper around it is safe from me except for the cookies. Haven't figured that one out yet. I also have given up baking and cooking. Sounds terrible but I find that if I buy a steak for one, small cups of mashed potatoes, rice and soups put out by Bear Creek, there is less food left over and I finish whatever my husband doesn't eat. Sometimes I do cave in and raid the snacks but not as often as I did before and it gives me better control over what I eat. I recently found out the my husband loves granola bars and I am going to try to give him a half bar of one in place of the cookies so that problem will be solved. And as far as exercising, I am fortunate that my son comes over 4 or 5 times a week and we hit the treadmill in the exercise room in our building. If it wasn't for that, I would be a serious couch potatoe in the evenings.
I have gained weight also, particularly this year. I have always tried to keep in under control because the more you gain, the harder it is to get off. It is hard now because Mom cannot be left alone, so I just sit while she sleeps in her chair. Sometimes I am able to clean her house while she sleeps, as long as I keep an eye on her. So, that is some exercise. Last year I mowed my sister's and her lawn with a push mower (almost an acre) and lost 10 pounds. Plus, I did the weeding. This year I cannot do any of that (even at my house!). I have been able to keep most of that weight off, but started putting on a few pounds this year because of Mom's decline. I sit all day. I feel like I did when I used to work! I get tired of sitting! Most days, I get home too late to walk the dogs or go to the gym. I have started to lose a few pounds the past few weeks, and attribute that to not eating as much. I don't eat the foods that my brother and Mom like to eat. So, I try to bring my own healthy foods. If you are not able to exercise, the only thing you can do is cut back on the amount of food you eat. You may try veggie and fruit smoothies for meals (just watch the serving sizes -- stick to one serving).
Hi Deb! Let's start with screaming. My mom did do that when she was on Namenda generic. Every night I gave it, screaming. Switched to daytime and it worked about a year then she hallucinated. So I tapered her off completely. Her Dr is well in the loop. I give my mom melatonin to sleep. Works for her. You need to talk to the Dr frankly about sleep and make sure you get it. She may need a med change or sleep aid. Sleep helps weight loss. It's 530 am, I've ate a 1/4 cup Bob's red Mill museli ceral. Takes the edge off before mom gets up. Then I may eat a little with her like fruit or brown rice cake with peanut butter. Why? Because my mom has to go potty in the middle of every meal, making me binge after clean up. So portion control, on small plates for yourself (I do this separate from everyone else) or alone. And eat a small healthy item with your sick parent to encourage eating. Look, I encourage you to eat, but pick good food high in nutrients to power through this. Low fat string cheese, 2 tablespoon almonds, celery and carrots with hummus or geek yogurt dip. Common theme? All have protein. They cover your nerves so you stress less. I exercise at home with mini trampoline and kettle bells. I have gained 10 lbs in the 6 years I've cared for mom. Alot has to do with middle age metabolic rate. Shoot for 30 minutes of exercise a day. Don't be fancy or expensive. Get a app on your phone you like or YouTube and go for it! You'll come back down in weight soon. 😊 You are not alone!
And a dessert could be one of those very dark chocolate sugar-free puddings with a bit of whipped cream and walnuts on top... walnuts are a good source of serotonins.
Melatonin works for many, but others it doesn't. I have a good friend who said it caused her nightmares. Just know that anything you try will be trial and error. The suggestion to take your Mom to a psychiatrist is a very good one. And if it is very hard to get her to go to a doctor, you could always go on the computer and use one of the on-line doctor sites. They have psychiatrists and therapists available also. www.amwell.com is one .... there is another..... www.doctorondemand.com. You definitely need your sleep!
I am quite overweight myself ... unfortunately it is totally my fault, and I am in the beginning stages of trying to motivate myself.... the best thing for me from the past that worked..... cutting out the nightly wine, and going back to a breakfast of eggs, sometime bacon/sausage, salads with dressing, (I don't like cooked vegetables, so I get them in the form of salads which I love), meat, and fruits in between meals - mostly apples, and at bedtime an apple. When I get serious, I cut out all carbohydrates and cheeses.
Oh, and I have accumulated a treadmill and a "rower" ($300 in Penneys).... which have been just another place to store things :), and this weekend clearing them off, and will begin using them. And I have signed up for a couple of "fun run/walks" and start my outdoor activity also. Now, keep in mind, I am doing the visualizing/self-motivating thing, and hopefully, will go through with all this. (p.s. earbuds/music for use when using the exercise machines). Maybe we can all help motivate one another. One of my rewards I think about is that I'd like to buy a dress to wear, when I feel I am looking better, about 50 pounds from now :)
I can relate. It's so hard! But I think the key is to get out and do things. Any dogs to walk? Yours or theirs? Nighttime is the toughest time for finding comfort in food (for me anyway), I've been taking my dogs for late night off-leash walks. If not, you need to find activities to occupy your mind. Sounds silly,but rock painting is another outlet for me. You can paint rocks and hide them around your town and follow their progress on social media. I'm really enjoying this. Basically, find outlets, hobbies, distractions... the more involved the distraction, the less you'll think about eating and it reduces stress. 💕
Weight gain can also be a sign of depression. (realized or not) have you talked to your doctor? Have you talked to your Mother's doctor about medication that will help her anxiety?
Can your Mom get out for a walk? If so might be a great time for both of you to get in some mild exercise. Will be good for her and an evening walk may help her sleep better. (Don't do this if she is a fall risk or you are in an area where solid footing is not possible) You need a break, can you get a caregiver in a few hours a few days a week? If so get to the park and walk, a gym if there is one near by. Healthy snacks should be standard, keep that pint of ice cream for a REALLY bad day! (trust me I had a pint in the freezer most of the time and often held off eating it because I figured things could get worse and then I would really need it and I wouldn't have it!) Ice cream...my drug of choice! Other snack items I had I would portion into those small bags and limit myself to one..or two :)
If this really is more than you can do look into finding a Memory Care facility. This is NOT giving up, it is NOT "putting her away", it is NOT going against any promise you made. The person that you wanted to keep home, keep with you is no longer the person that is living in your house. A Memory Care facility as staff that can care for her, they have staff that can care for her round the clock. NO ONE can do this 24/7 by themselves. Your Mom will be engaged as best as she can be when you are not there, you can still take her out, you can enjoy your visits and be a daughter not a caregiver.
My mother is bipolar and can be quite combative causing rapid heart race. I asked her regular Dr. and her cardio what can I give her. Melatomin is good but ask first in lieu of any other meds / health issues. Good luck
Before you help her in the a.m., take a 20 minute walk ...you can leave her in bed until you return...she’s not going to run away anywhere...then you have good healthy breakfast....then you start on her...take care of yourself first...let us know how this goes...hugs 🤗♥️To you
Wow! Looks like you struck a nerve. I was right there with you while caring for my Mom. Gaining 30+ lbs was shocking. I stopped running, ate nothing but sugar and processed everything -- no vegetables or fruit!! I felt so sick. I was severely depressed. Just nine months of 24/7 caregiving brought me to my knees despite my sister and brother chipping in! I have no idea how anyone alone survives this.
I had just put Mom to bed, and was searching YouTube. Looking for anything to help. I ran across a Paleo video. I decided to go sugar free. It was a drastic move, but it literally felt like my body was dying. Not only that, if I continued on this path I would no longer be able to help my siblings, let alone Mom. The moment I decided this, my brain pitched a fit and I started shoveling handfuls of Rasinets into my mouth. This wasn't done as a last hurrah. My brain screamed it could never survive without sugar. I was also a person who had never been successful with just diets. Well, my brain did survive. I stopped in November. Because of that, I was there to enjoy at least the last month of her life, which was amazing. She passed on 2 Feb. I am still sugar free, and eating good protein, nuts, vegetables and fruits. I don't count calories or watch portions. I never feel deprived. I am 30 lbs lighter even though I barely make time to exercise (not good). Sooo...if you're desperate like I was, a low Paleo diet (low because I don't restrict my fruit intake) would help. You may also want to look into benefits of Intermittent Fasting. Good YouTube videos. I just started. I'm doing 8/16 - 8 hours of eating and 12 hours of fasting, which I find very easy to do. More health benefits.
If nothing else, please watch The Magic Pill on NETFLIX or order it from Amazon. It will motivate you to change. It's why my sister and her husband also started their journey three months ago. I'm not saying the first month will be easy, but this is a very easy and sustainable way to -- I was going to say eat, but "live" is more appropriate.
Just googled and read about Ashwagandha...... be sure to read about side effects. The people taking it.... just the first 6-7 reviews reported some very serious side effects they experienced including PVC's (skipped heart beats), suicidal thoughts, and blood clots.
You could ask your Mom's doc for something for sleep. You definitely need your sleep, too.
Stress wreaks havoc on our metabolism. In my case, I found myself eating all the right things, but eating all the time! After doing some research, I realized the my body was becoming addicted to being in a constant state of digestion. Digestion is hard work for the body! We need periods when our body is not digesting, because then it has energy for repairs.
I am starting to overcome this constant eating, by snacking less, and when I do eat, I go heavy on fiber, which is more filling. For instance, breakfast consists of as much fruit (such as grapes) as I want and one ounce of raw nuts (such as almonds). Lunch consists of a bowl of beans, cooked veggies (such as broccoli), raw onions, and oil-free marinara sauce or salsa for flavor. Dinner is a sandwich of whole-grain bread with natural nut butter, romaine lettuce, and tomato. My desserts are either an apple with nut butter, or whole-grain bread (I prefer Ezekiel) with nut butter and raw honey.
You can try this regimen, or you may find another that works for you. The best to you and your daily challenges.
YOU NEED TO GET HER TO A PSYCHIATRIST as soon as possible till then you can get a over the counter drug for her it will work & it is at walmart !!! it melatonin purple top in the vitamin area natrol makes it purple front on it this will calm your mom down it did for me ..she needs to get on medicine that will control her ..the melatonin you can get it has a fruit flavor to it so you can tell her it is like flintstone like vitamin so remember when she gets agatited & give her a pill a hour before she does that is sundown syndrome .. & also at night to .if a little pill makes this person sleepy than that should work ..ok good luck
I go back to my Dash Diet Phase I (low carb for 2 weeks), and I always manage to drop at least 15 pounds. The unlimited diet jello surprisingly helps, lol. Phase II brings a few carbs slowly back in, and I can have my toast, a potato and some spaghetti once in awhile. It's doable and I do feel better. You can find it at the library, and I ended up buying it on abebooks very cheap. Sticking to a daily walk helps also. Walking is the only exercise I seem able to do consistently. I used to do it an hour a day, but I notice it never has resulted in more weight loss for me. So I try to do a half hour, rain or shine, great mentally and physically. Mom's been in the NH a year but I still eat too much. I look forward to a time when there'll be less stress in my life. I can dream, can't I??
Makes one wonder if this is the dementia, or were they that way?
For those who like to eat, and who doesn't? Try some nice cream. Frozen bananas and various fruit. Blend separate, then mix. Keep frozen cut up banannas, raspberries, mangos and strawberries in freezer. Put in blender. It is very good. Or some sugar free jello on occassion. A baked apple with lots of cinnamon, or any frozen fruit turned into sorbet using a blender. I cut up a small watermellon, put in blender and strained. Kept in ball jar. Made watermelon smoothies and a drink. Was a great treat. It made a lot of drinks.
How about weight watchers popsicles/ ice cream, or fruit bars? How about a choc p. Butter smoothie with protein powder, cocoa, a tablespoon of natural p. Butter. They also make it in a protein powder too. Add a frozen banana and it's a shake. Or a banana split using a banana cut in half, drizzled with some choc syrup. (1Tbs) and a bit of granola pieces. The choc and banana really seemed decadent. You can look up desserts for those watching weight and not feel deprived.
How about that decadent coffee/tea you wanted to try but didnt. I made passionfruit tea. Was really good. You dont have to go to a coffeeshop. Youtube shows you how to do it. YouTube/Pinterest has lots of ideas for distressing & food.
If parent is up for it, take a walk around the block. Better than nothing. Tell them you both need to walk the dog lol. I know it's not always that simple.
How about a good book so your mind can escape. Take a relaxing bath with a lit candle, music, ebsom salts, and good e-book, Or one that reads to you. Buy that bath additive you normally would save for special occassion. Put on some perfume after your bath. Anything to help your mind distress and escape just for a bit helps. How about a manicure at home? Add in little things to help you, even it's it's meditation for 5 mins. Sit in car and listen to fab song. You know the one that makes you feel you can take on the world.
See if you can get away to a park, or meet with a friend for coffee, or a meal. How about a check in ph call?
You have to take care of yourself too. The littlest thing can help you distress. If you don't, your health will suffer too. Good luck.
Me too!! I am in the midst of struggling with the stress/eating, so no big help yet. At night I do a self-hypnosis exercise of counting from 10 to 1 going down a staircase to a lovely location. It helps me get to sleep - I will try that with weight loss/not stress eating. Important to just keep trying.
Best Wishes
So maybe you can improve your distraction game a bit so you get comfort that isn't from calorie intake. What kind of games do you like to play? Can you find some new ones online that are of interest to you and turn to those instead of your next snack when you get stressed out? Homemade green veggie juices are surprisingly filling in my experience, and they are low calorie while being extremely nutritious so they do satisfy cravings, too, in my experience.
There's a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead that is widely available online for viewing, and it helped me during my caregiving crisis to find a way to put self care into action in my daily life. Watch that and see if anything resonates with you, and motivates you to make some changes. I personally found it very inspirational in the middle of a bad caregiving situation.
You need comfort, that much is certain, but you can find comfort in different ways, better ways for your mind and body. It's difficult to change old habits but there are online support groups, like this one! :-)
After I've been with my mother for any length of time, I feel so stressed and anxious that my mind turns to carbs and sugar.
Sandy, you are so right about the "take time for yourself" advice. Easily said, not easily done. And I'm someone that needs a LOT of time for myself. As in HOURS.
Sorry to hear about your situation :( My heart goes out to you!
My suggestion would be when you're feeling stressed out, have you tried video games? I've never been a big gamer but I find it does help to cope with stress. There's a lot of free games you can play on your phone to keep you entertained and out of the refridge. My current favorite is Puzzles and Dragons.
I agree with the other suggestions of having a stationary bike in the house. It's definitely a good way to get some exercise and not have to worry about leaving the house.
Hematomichrosis is an inherited disease found mainly in people of northern European descent that the absorbs iron too effectively - this means women stay fertile in times of famine but is a silent killer to men & older women with iron being deposited in the internal organs - that is how some evolved to cope with super-stress events so the body probably has others too
But we need food as fuel to deal with our super-stressing loved ones - maybe seek a dietitian that could help you balance your food intake - make changes slowly & maybe buy vegetables or fruit that are pre-cut on a tray for more sensible snacking if time is a factor
Your body probably sees the stress you are under as a threat to your safety so it has adjusted but not how you would like with weight gain - at least you are aware of it & can modify your eating habits - you can't eat what is not in the house so shop after a meal when you can & make a list & stick to it - we plan our meal about 3 or 4 days in advance so that we can do extras to make a meal later in the week without much prep eg we roast a whole chicken on Tues so that we have the other half on Thurs with different side dishes - good luck
Was reading the posts and just had to add my "two cents". When I met my honey 30 years ago I weighed 98lbs (nope not married, not even common law). I have gained and lost and gained again over the years. (yep yo-yo syndrome...ha, ha,ha). But after my weight topping out at 206lbs I decided this had to go and started pushing away from the table when I would start feeling full. Just before my honey went in the hospital in May I had gotten down to 196lbs. Since he went into the hospital and subsequently rehab, I am now down to 183lb. My secret... I am eating lighter since I am not cooking for two (high protein/low sodium due to heart issue-snacks? not so much) As to snacking, I still do, but I just try to limit the amount of whatever I am snacking on. I am unable to anything as to exercise other than stretching exercises and chair exercise with light weights due to my back though that is improving and I hope to start walking short distances outside before too long. I do not have a high metabolism as mine is non-existent and I have a hormone imbalance due to a hysterectomy at age 23.
I feel so much better since I have dropped the 23lbs. Weighed this morning and I have leveled of and am holding that weight (183lbs) but at least I am not gaining. Hoping that I can start losing more soon though I know I will never get back to 98lbs, if I can get down to 136lbs (upper end of where I should be) I will be happy.
Everyone, I don't know how old everyone is (I am on the downhill side headed toward 67), but I was told by my doctor that due to my age, bone structure and height(4' 10 3/4") I should not try to get below 123lbs. She said as I age I should not try to get back to the weight that I was in my 20's and 30's that I should carry a little more than I did at that time. Dr also told me throw away the scales and use a tape measure. I do still weigh as I have heart failure and have to monitor my weight to make sure that I don't gain fluid I just don't do it daily unless I can tell I am gaining fluid.
When I get too stressed I work on my art. (I am a digital animal portrait artist and illustrator) My suggestion is if you have a hobby work on it when you are stressed. If you are snacking with the person that you are caring for, don't deprive yourself. Have those favorite snacks, but also alternate with some healthier snacks (ie: one night ice cream, the next maybe carrots with ranch dressing...that type of thing). Do what works best for you. (took me years to figure that out)
Don't give up, but don't stress about it. Stress will put weight on you as well. (have been reading some articles about it). And for Heaven's sake, don't look down on yourself or beat yourself up if you have gained weight. Oh, another thing my doctor told me? Get down to a weight that YOU feel comfortable with. Not what everyone else thinks you should be. (she was a wise lady).
Y'all have a great day and weekend! (smile)
I am quite overweight myself ... unfortunately it is totally my fault, and I am in the beginning stages of trying to motivate myself.... the best thing for me from the past that worked..... cutting out the nightly wine, and going back to a breakfast of eggs, sometime bacon/sausage, salads with dressing, (I don't like cooked vegetables, so I get them in the form of salads which I love), meat, and fruits in between meals - mostly apples, and at bedtime an apple. When I get serious, I cut out all carbohydrates and cheeses.
Oh, and I have accumulated a treadmill and a "rower" ($300 in Penneys).... which have been just another place to store things :), and this weekend clearing them off, and will begin using them. And I have signed up for a couple of "fun run/walks" and start my outdoor activity also. Now, keep in mind, I am doing the visualizing/self-motivating thing, and hopefully, will go through with all this. (p.s. earbuds/music for use when using the exercise machines). Maybe we can all help motivate one another. One of my rewards I think about is that I'd like to buy a dress to wear, when I feel I am looking better, about 50 pounds from now :)
If not, you need to find activities to occupy your mind. Sounds silly,but rock painting is another outlet for me. You can paint rocks and hide them around your town and follow their progress on social media. I'm really enjoying this.
Basically, find outlets, hobbies, distractions... the more involved the distraction, the less you'll think about eating and it reduces stress. 💕
Have you talked to your Mother's doctor about medication that will help her anxiety?
Can your Mom get out for a walk? If so might be a great time for both of you to get in some mild exercise. Will be good for her and an evening walk may help her sleep better. (Don't do this if she is a fall risk or you are in an area where solid footing is not possible)
You need a break, can you get a caregiver in a few hours a few days a week? If so get to the park and walk, a gym if there is one near by.
Healthy snacks should be standard, keep that pint of ice cream for a REALLY bad day! (trust me I had a pint in the freezer most of the time and often held off eating it because I figured things could get worse and then I would really need it and I wouldn't have it!) Ice cream...my drug of choice!
Other snack items I had I would portion into those small bags and limit myself to one..or two :)
If this really is more than you can do look into finding a Memory Care facility. This is NOT giving up, it is NOT "putting her away", it is NOT going against any promise you made. The person that you wanted to keep home, keep with you is no longer the person that is living in your house. A Memory Care facility as staff that can care for her, they have staff that can care for her round the clock. NO ONE can do this 24/7 by themselves.
Your Mom will be engaged as best as she can be when you are not there, you can still take her out, you can enjoy your visits and be a daughter not a caregiver.
I had just put Mom to bed, and was searching YouTube. Looking for anything to help. I ran across a Paleo video. I decided to go sugar free. It was a drastic move, but it literally felt like my body was dying. Not only that, if I continued on this path I would no longer be able to help my siblings, let alone Mom. The moment I decided this, my brain pitched a fit and I started shoveling handfuls of Rasinets into my mouth. This wasn't done as a last hurrah. My brain screamed it could never survive without sugar. I was also a person who had never been successful with just diets. Well, my brain did survive. I stopped in November. Because of that, I was there to enjoy at least the last month of her life, which was amazing. She passed on 2 Feb. I am still sugar free, and eating good protein, nuts, vegetables and fruits. I don't count calories or watch portions. I never feel deprived. I am 30 lbs lighter even though I barely make time to exercise (not good). Sooo...if you're desperate like I was, a low Paleo diet (low because I don't restrict my fruit intake) would help. You may also want to look into benefits of Intermittent Fasting. Good YouTube videos. I just started. I'm doing 8/16 - 8 hours of eating and 12 hours of fasting, which I find very easy to do. More health benefits.
If nothing else, please watch The Magic Pill on NETFLIX or order it from Amazon. It will motivate you to change. It's why my sister and her husband also started their journey three months ago. I'm not saying the first month will be easy, but this is a very easy and sustainable way to -- I was going to say eat, but "live" is more appropriate.
You could ask your Mom's doc for something for sleep. You definitely need your sleep, too.
I am starting to overcome this constant eating, by snacking less, and when I do eat, I go heavy on fiber, which is more filling. For instance, breakfast consists of as much fruit (such as grapes) as I want and one ounce of raw nuts (such as almonds). Lunch consists of a bowl of beans, cooked veggies (such as broccoli), raw onions, and oil-free marinara sauce or salsa for flavor. Dinner is a sandwich of whole-grain bread with natural nut butter, romaine lettuce, and tomato. My desserts are either an apple with nut butter, or whole-grain bread (I prefer Ezekiel) with nut butter and raw honey.
You can try this regimen, or you may find another that works for you. The best to you and your daily challenges.
Be sure to visit:
www.oa.com
and for online meetings www.oa12step4coes.org
You need support!!! and inspiration and hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!