Mom has been at our house and I have gained 38 pounds in 5 months. She has dementia and screams at night (this has shot my sleep). I care for her 24/7. I could use some coping method suggestions that don't involve opening the fridge.
Snack on low cal foods. I’ve used the Weight Watchers diet before (it’s similar to a diabetic diet but not nearly as strict). I didn’t attend meetings but the meetings could be useful to you.
But just don’t eat crap! LOL For example, if you must have crunchy treats try popcorn prepared in a microwave bowl or air popper, pretzels are good too. No cake, few cookies (Oreo has made a super thin cookie so less calories with a sweet treat). No sodas. Seltzer with a splash of your favorite fruit juice is refreshing. Drastically limit fried food. I oven fry things like vegetables or roast them and I love these Vietnamese vegetarian spring rolls I found at the Asian market. They are not prefried so I drizzle olive oil on them and bake. Oh yum!
Read the ingredient information on premade foods.
When cooking, if butter or anything high fat or calorie is called for, half the amount of those ingredients.
Eating out is a problem because you have no control over what is in your food. Save that activity for special occasions! Or I liked being very strict on my diet until I’d lost ten pounds, then celebrate by a dinner out. Then start on the next ten pounds with Strict adherence again.
For me, no ice cream. No beer. No elaborate desserts. No cheese, cream, whole milk (I like almond milk), very little processed foods.
My husband and I lost 100 pounds each in 2003-2004. First step-no soda. Second step-share entree in restaurants. Third step-vegetarian diet. Forth step-walk 5 miles every other day. And we lost it.
Now I must GAIN weight, I lost 45 pounds while sick. So now I’m eating food I don’t want because I stopped eating it 15 years ago. I crave cucumber sandwiches and have to eat ice cream. Gag....
Good luck on the diet. Listen to your body and adjust your regimen as needed.
I can sympathize since I take the 1/2 gallon ice cream & the spoon....& just eat it out of the container!!! In the 15 months Mom has been home, I’ve just gained 5 lbs ...I have 2 stair cases that probably saved me more weight gain
Also consider looking up the 80/20 alkaline lifestyle diet. This involves eating lots of vegetables (which are alkalizing) and having moderate amounts of starches and proteins (which are acid producing). We can never go wrong with eating lots of veggies!
My stress eating shows up at night. I have a Vitamix and I make up smoothie packs with Kale, blue berries, 1/2 a banana and 1 TBSP of flax seed. I have that most mornings and it holds me until lunch. Sometimes I will have overnight oatmeal with blue berries or apples with cinnamon. I totally agree with you about having a plan, that is where I sometimes fall short. Also, I can't control my husband's and mother's junk food. I have asked him to hide it and he will not do it. I have a device that measures steps and get over 12k in steps. I got the Lose It! app to track food and I can see that my problem is mostly at night. I think the emotions that I am eating are anger and frustration. I am looking into Day Care for her so that I can get an occasional day free. You have lots of good suggestions. Thank you for your suggestions.
As is often said: "It isn't what you are eating, it is what is eating you." This is not about diets or dieting. It is about learning self-care and making changes slowly to move towards your goals. The eating/wt gain / stress likely has everything to do with feeling overwhelmed, lack of control over what your responsibilities are, and needing to do some things differently. I believe that our behavior (overeating for instance) is giving us a message "HELP ME" Ask that part of you that is over-eating or choosing non-nutritious health foods what it needs from YOU to change the behavior. A part of you is crying out for support and the only way it knows (now) how to do that is by eating (eating in the stress, numbing out). Talk to those parts. They know what they need. Be a partner and friend to your 'selfs' (your parts; we are all sub-personalities inside vying for attention). The key is to re-learn how to listen to our 'selves' parts and replace non-optimal behaviors and thoughts with healthy ones that serve our well being.
P.S. I use a bullet (like a blender) and I love it. I make a very healthy smoothie in the mornings OR make it for my 'lunch on the run' - it is chuck full of nutrition. If you want a copy of the ingredients ask me. And, now I will go exercise too ! I've been maintaining my wt within 2-7 lbs for almost four decades. I cannot get on my high horse figuring "I've got this." An addiction requires ongoing maintenance. Goals of being healthy is important (vs goal of losing weight).
I offer holistic weight counseling workshops and coaching. I'm personally maintaining a 70 lb wt loss for over 35 years. I do not diet. My work is elder care management / care provider. Even with all my decades of managing my eating disorder (and not everyone has an eating disorder who eats due to stress, exhaustion, and over-extending one's self due to family caregiver needs), I still found myself eating out of stressors related to work related interactions. WHAT TO DO? 1. Be gentle with yourself. 2. Do what I call "Plan Aheads" - plan your meals, plan your grocery shopping, plan for the times you tend to be more vulnerable to over - or other - eat. 3. Find ways to balance your life. You (we all) need down time. Find ways to get this renewal time - be it 5 minutes several times a day or 1/2 day a week or whatever you can do. You need to take care of YOU to take care of another. 4. Incorporate some kind of exercise - moving, be it walking, stretching on the floor at home, yoga. Move and do something. Create a structure of exercise / plan and have your phone 'alarm' set for reminders. Make your plan do-able; create a 'win-win' so you'll feel good about yourself and your accomplishments. 5. Start a journal. Every time you want to 'grab' xxx that won't serve you, write instead. This would be part of the 'Plan Aheads' - what can you do as an alternative to eating when you do not want or need to and/or when you know you may start eating out of stress. 6. Find a buddy with similar desires/goals. This is for mutual support. 7. Always ask yourself when you eat non-optimally, "What did I learn from this?" instead of reprimanding yourself or self-negative judgments. Judgments and negative reinforcement does NO good for you at all. 8. Learn to feel self-compassion. When we are stressed and feel overwhelmed, we need all the self care and self-love we can muster. 9. Incorporate a treat weekly. By including a treat, you give yourself boundaries or times when it is okay to eat xxx in a limited amount. Do not necessary stop eating foods you enjoy or giving yourself a treat now and then. If you do, you may find yourself running to the frig like a 'get out of jail card.' Creating a structure eliminates this. Equally, if you are vulnerable at night (as I often am), know what foods you can have in the the house. 10. Figure out what are acceptable alternatives to over eating (i.e., apple sauce, piece of fruit, getting one ice cream portion somewhere (vs having too much in the freezer at home). Figure out what will work to support your peace of mind and goals (being healthy). 6. What I did for years is save my desserts for when I'd go out for a nice dinner - and an oatmeal cookie during the week (a large and really good one). The point is to create win-wins while moving towards your goals of health and well being.
There are many ways to do this. I use behavior modification and lots of positive reinforcement, and no judgments at all. Observe what you do, realize what your goals are, and move in small steps towards them. Gena
I wish I knew the answer to this issue Debbie1 because I am where you are. I struggled with my weight for years, but then I got it down and was fearless! Then mom took sick (I gained 5 lbs). I then moved her in with me and now I am up 40 lbs! I already was dealing with my sleep apnea, now I have a person who doesn't sleep at times and so I am up. I also still work full-time. I tried going to the gym at work because it's free, but these days I can't even get to work on-time consistently because of the care for mom and so I work though lunch. I have a stand-up desk but I am so tired sometimes that standing is not an option.
I say I will workout when I get home, but I get accosted with issues when I get home almost daily. I've gone vegetarian for a month, that dropped some lbs, then I did low-carb, that was so-so...I just need to mentally find something that works. I use to be an emotional eater, now it's just out of control!
I hope someone has an answer for you, for us! Sorry I could not be of more help except to say, you are not alone in the battle of the bulge.
Debbie1 My answer for the stress with my mom is exercise. If I don’t I just cannot cope. I started walking and now can long distance walk. Doing my second 13.1 Marathon this Sunday. I started out saying “Why am I out here and are the neighbors laughing at me?” and now I just don’t care. I also weight train and do several others cardio and weight lifting classes. It is time for me or I have nothing for my mom. My weight is back in check and my health checkups are too. I feel selfish some days, but when I have to skip because of mom I realize it isn’t selfish. I am fortunate to have my husband to watch mom while I workout. He also is her cook since she is celiac. He says he’d rather help and still have his wife than to have me bear it all since my siblings do not help. So lace up those sneakers or get on that bike (I have one too! Amazing how I can put on earphones and bike my tension away!) One more thing ... you are worth taking time for yourself. If you don’t take care of you ... who will and what will you be able to give others?
Hi, I've always had a problem with binge eating. Even if I went for a snack when hungry between meals, it could lead to stuffing my face. Grrrrr
Over the years I've learned what foods set me off and what foods don't. Maybe that's something you can look at?
At times when I'm going for food and I'm really not hungry, I try this. I tell myself, I'll make a sandwich after I load the wash machine. Or sweep the floor. Any little task works. Usually the urge to eat passes after the task is done.
I keep grapes in the fridge to grab easily before I go for something fattening.
And tangerines are good because you have to take time to peel them. I'm an emotional eater and I find I calm down a bit while peeling. Any snacks I need to mess around with , like shelled peanuts, skinning apples etc... Work well for those times.
Also, I get dressed everyday. Sounds dumb but on days when there's nothing to do, I wouldn't get dressed. I found being in pj or loose sweats allowed me the comfort of eating more and more often. It didn't make me feel full because my clothes were so loose.
If I fix my hair I was less likely to plop on the couch and lay around and eat. I'd usually do something constructive around the house, which kept me active.
Don't know if this will help Deb, but it helps me. Also look into the 5/2 diet if you're serious about loosing real weigh fast. Just Google it.
Debby1 says: "She has dementia and screams at night (this has shot my sleep)."
Have you asked doctor about this? There might be something she can take to help with this. Our mother was given anti-anxiety meds shortly after moving into MC (her "sun-downing" when still living in her condo was more of an OCD, checking the door, dishwasher and LR over and over - she lived alone, so there was no one to rail at.) She only had one Rx, no refill. The only time it flared up was while she had UTI. Her nightly rants and demands to get out, setting off the alarms at the doors for several hours continued through the full course of the antibiotic. It took some wrangling, but finally the doc relented to a new Rx, to be used as needed. Once the UTI was done, they have not used it again, but at least we have it "on-hand" in case of another episode during doc's off hours!
Unlike some other meds, these don't need weeks to show results. If there are adverse results, other meds can be tried. They do not need to be dosed to oblivion, it is just enough to take the edge off, usually given in the evening when sun-downing starts and allows them (and you) to sleep! I read your post about taking care of yourself - good for you! However interrupted sleep is not good for you or her - see what the doctor has to say. It can't hurt to try!
Hi Kabeena, Thanks for the information. I am going to try the exercise to see how it does. I just tried the rising up on my toes while I was sitting and my calves are tingling. Can't do the skipping yet, due to my back, but I am getting there and will try it soon. Will keep you posted. Have a great night.
p.s... If interested in seeing the documentary I talked about, I just found it on youtube by typing in, "nhk documentary ghost blood vessels". It was very interesting.
Me too! I gained about 60 lbs since I moved in with mom after my dad died, back then she just needed light supervision, but the best way to lift her mood was to offer her ice cream (her house was always ice cream central, with several varieties available at all times), and of course I had to eat some with her. now, 12 years later, I no longer keep ice cream in the house, but she is completely immobile and helpless, and I sit a lot, by her bedside to feed her what she will eat between periods of sleeping. I have to stay there so I can catch her when she wakes up so I can feed her some more. And they say sitting is the new smoking. She would get dehydrated and waste away if I didn't do that. The only thing that gets me to exercise is my little angel dog/ gift from God that I try to take for walks several times a week (I know it should be more frequent but this is the best I can do at the moment. I hope to do it more often). They say even 15 min a day is helpful. So, my suggestion is, maybe offer to walk a neighbor's dog if you don't have one.
Also, I just saw a documentary tonight on NHK (a Japanese station - they often have medical and technological advances that we haven't heard about yet) about "ghost capillaries", or capillaries that die due to a number of factors like inactivity, excess carbs in the diet, etc. they said these contribute to dementia, osteoporosis, cold hands and feet, diabetes, and liver and kidney problems, because the capillaries are where the blood stream delivers oxygen and nutrients to the brain, the organs and bones. I know- Downer, right? But the good news is, doing a certain exercise for only a couple of weeks resulted in huge improvement. Guess what the exercise is.... SKIPPING! Skipping in place, 20 reps, 3 times per day was all it took. (or, even, actually skipping around the house, or, if you don't mind looking silly, go skipping outside, instead of walking). And, if that's not possible, rising up on your toes, while standing or sitting, 20 reps 3 times per day gets similar results. Because it exercises the calf muscles, which are the second way of circulating the blood, after the heart, and increasing the circulation even that much saves the capillaries. And, hey, I can do that while I'm sitting by mom's bed! One woman in the study said it removed the swelling in her legs, and I could use that benefit as well! And, diet-wise, there were 3 things (in addition to cutting back on carbs) they found protected the capillaries: 1 teaspoon of cinnamon per day, 1 cup of Rooibos tea per day (I hope it tastes good, I've never had it, but I'm gonna try it) and "long" pepper. I'll have to see if the Sprouts store where I get D-Mannose supplements for mom's battle against uti's carries these things. I know I'm rambling here, but I'm thinking, if one can do these small things, it might improve one's health and energy level, and increase their ability and motivation to be more active and healthy in general, which would help with losing weight, and even help avoid getting this horrible disease that's taking our loved ones. I'm gonna try this approach, and I'll keep you posted about any improvements I experience. If anyone else tries it, please keep me posted, as well. Well, I think I'll get started right now, and skip back to mom's room to give her her dinner, and while there, I'll rise up on my toes 20 times!
Debby1... it is all the excellent care you gave Mom that helped her improve. That is a good thing. But I understand it is frustrating for you at times. You need r & r and "me" time too. Adult day care is a good idea. Is Mom Medicare age? (sorry did not see it in the post..may have missed it). If she is check to see if Medicare will pay for adult day care. I believe they will pay for intermittent caregiver. Might be worth checking in to so that you and your husband can have a periodic break to take a breath and relax. Hope this helped. Have a great night and Sunday!
Hi All...just thought of something. For those who want to try a diet rather than just pushing back, the best one I have ever found was the Diabetic Exchange diet. This is good for both diabetics and non-diabetics. You have to measure your food but you never and I repeat never go hungry. Be sure though if you try it talk to your doctor who can give the ok and let you know what the proper proportions are specifically for you. As I said, I never went hungry when I was on that diet. You eat three meals and have snacks in between and then in the evening and it is using regular food.
Debby1, I've been told my dad was about to pass on any minute for the past eight years Of course I don't want him to die before his time to go, but because I thought he didn't have but a few more days, multiple times over past years, I did not pace myself. I ended up completely burnt out and he got better. Now I realize that isnt as unusual as I thought. Wish someone has told me :/
Thank you all for all the suggestions and insights. I got the Lose It! app for my phone. I type in what I eat on the app. I got through today without any junk food. My husband and mother both eat junk food and I started out dipping into their goodies. They will not give up the junk food (I have asked). I have the UP device I attach to my shoe so, I can see how many steps I take. I am making hubby watch mom while I walk the dog. I am using the treadmill in the basement with a baby monitor. I will be checking about adult daycare. It's $60 a day here for adult daycare, but I have to see if they will take her from time to time. I joined an accountability group on another site so I can get back to where I was and maybe even thinner. I have requested hospital bed for her with full railings. She got up out of bed one night and went to sleep on the couch and peed on the couch. The other night she fell out of bed. I currently have a twin mattress up against her bed with the backs of some heavy dining room chairs holding the mattress in place. The other long side of the bed is up against the wall. I had her in a nursing home; however, she claimed abuse and looked like she might be ready to pass on. I thought I would bring her to my house to pass on. Well, of course she got better. LOL
You could try a college student, family member, friend or adult day care if you need a break. Don't feel guilty either. No one wants to be attached at the hip to another person. We all need some self preservation time.
I say think of yourself first. No sleep will lead to great health problems and then where will your mom be? It is a difficult decision, but sometimes things just get out of our control. After 6 yrs of caregiving for my mom, my health is shot. Please don’t do that to yourself. A memory facility can take care of her and you can be her daughter again and visit her. Gain your health back.
Myownlife, I also have a long road ahead of me to lose weight which is my own fault. One of the benefits of taking care of my father is that he doesn't like big quantities of food at meals, so I am getting a better feel for what is a normal sized portion. I've been reading labels for awhile and have limits in my head on sugar and sodium content, and I have always liked vegetables/fruits. I just have to make them more convenient as snacks and not yield to the brightly colored fat/sugar temptations in the stores. (What if candy had to be wrapped in gray or brown paper?) Try roasting/grilling your vegetables?
Walking someplace away from traffic and general city hum is a great mood adjuster. Dogs are great motivators. If you don't have one, borrow one from a busy neighbor. The dog will love you for it.
I'm a stress eater, too. What works for me is not to deny myself but remind myself that the first 2-3 bites of anything are the most satisfying. Also it takes 20 minutes for your stomach to communicate to your head that you are full, so make your meals last 20 minutes. Perhaps your mother's doctor can suggest something to help your mom at night? For you, ear-plugs. I can't remember the last time I got a full, uninterrupted 8 hour sleep but I can remember feeling good and able to cope because of it. God bless the caregivers.
If appropriate, go out walking with your loved one, especially if it can be big gardens with manageable hills and such--it'll be a good workout for you (I push Mom in a wheelchair) and a nice outing for him/her (if s/he is mobile, find places with lots of benches for rest spots or bring a portable chair--some can be folded into its own "container" that you can sling across your shoulder or carry on your back). If you're able to, cut out sugars, especially processed sugars and gradually lower carbs and processed foods. It will be hard, but I've pretty much cut out sugars (still eat fruits) and lost weight. I snack on fruits, all kinds of nuts, celery, salads galore (with avocados), hummus, popcorn and the occasional bag of pork rinds (I know that sounds bad but it has no carbs so it's better than a bag of potato chips; I usually buy the kind without the fried out fat). Not easy, especially in the beginning but once you're on track, you'll lose weight and it's healthy for whoever you're caregiving (as a supplement to the main entrees s/he is eating).
I gained over 50 lbs, doing a year of care taking through two major surgeries and rehabs, and all the drama, drama, with family and ambulance chasers (Dad would imply he was multi millionaire and was neglected by terrible daughter so he'd be ensured of lots of lavish attention. Meanwhile, "terrible" daughter had to literally jog about to keep up with hospital, rehab, AL assortment of timetables to coordinate care, before discharge.
A hospital vending machine diet is not great for the waistline. And the worst part was after awhile I grew to crave that food because of the sugar hit. I was so burnt out that the tiny sugar lift would be sometimes all I had to look forward to. :(
I've found that avoiding alcohol, sugar, refined carbs makes a world of difference. And OA, Alanon, etc helps for support. Not crazy about the occasional cultish group think, but there are a lot of lovely supportive people in those groups and some of the reading makes a ton of sense to inspire positive self care.
The other thing is I found that I had to plan and carry food with me. If I let my blood sugar dip too low, I found that I'd almost have to eat sugary junk to get my blood sugar back up. It became a vicious circle! Not good.
Totally understand.
First, go to www.oa.org and www.oa12stepforcoes.org (note, no S after step).
Then, go to youtube: stronger seniors. With time you can do these with weights in your hands!
Use this time of confinement (ugh) for self-care (YAY!), get down to your fighting weight, and get buff!
Good luck!
Get outside more, breathe, walk and just take care of you!
Our lives have as much value as theirs and we need to be healthy and strong to get through this journey.
Now if I could only take my own advice!! I’m working on it :)
Hugs to you.
But just don’t eat crap! LOL
For example, if you must have crunchy treats try popcorn prepared in a microwave bowl or air popper, pretzels are good too. No cake, few cookies (Oreo has made a super thin cookie so less calories with a sweet treat). No sodas. Seltzer with a splash of your favorite fruit juice is refreshing. Drastically limit fried food. I oven fry things like vegetables or roast them and I love these Vietnamese vegetarian spring rolls I found at the Asian market. They are not prefried so I drizzle olive oil on them and bake. Oh yum!
Read the ingredient information on premade foods.
When cooking, if butter or anything high fat or calorie is called for, half the amount of those ingredients.
Eating out is a problem because you have no control over what is in your food. Save that activity for special occasions! Or I liked being very strict on my diet until I’d lost ten pounds, then celebrate by a dinner out. Then start on the next ten pounds with Strict adherence again.
For me, no ice cream. No beer. No elaborate desserts. No cheese, cream, whole milk (I like almond milk), very little processed foods.
My husband and I lost 100 pounds each in 2003-2004. First step-no soda. Second step-share entree in restaurants. Third step-vegetarian diet. Forth step-walk 5 miles every other day. And we lost it.
Now I must GAIN weight, I lost 45 pounds while sick. So now I’m eating food I don’t want because I stopped eating it 15 years ago. I crave cucumber sandwiches and have to eat ice cream. Gag....
Good luck on the diet. Listen to your body and adjust your regimen as needed.
I have a device that measures steps and get over 12k in steps. I got the Lose It! app to track food and I can see that my problem is mostly at night. I think the emotions that I am eating are anger and frustration. I am looking into Day Care for her so that I can get an occasional day free. You have lots of good suggestions. Thank you for your suggestions.
This is not about diets or dieting. It is about learning self-care and making changes slowly to move towards your goals. The eating/wt gain / stress likely has everything to do with feeling overwhelmed, lack of control over what your responsibilities are, and needing to do some things differently. I believe that our behavior (overeating for instance) is giving us a message "HELP ME" Ask that part of you that is over-eating or choosing non-nutritious health foods what it needs from YOU to change the behavior. A part of you is crying out for support and the only way it knows (now) how to do that is by eating (eating in the stress, numbing out). Talk to those parts. They know what they need. Be a partner and friend to your 'selfs' (your parts; we are all sub-personalities inside vying for attention). The key is to re-learn how to listen to our 'selves' parts and replace non-optimal behaviors and thoughts with healthy ones that serve our well being.
P.S. I use a bullet (like a blender) and I love it. I make a very healthy smoothie in the mornings OR make it for my 'lunch on the run' - it is chuck full of nutrition. If you want a copy of the ingredients ask me. And, now I will go exercise too ! I've been maintaining my wt within 2-7 lbs for almost four decades. I cannot get on my high horse figuring "I've got this." An addiction requires ongoing maintenance. Goals of being healthy is important (vs goal of losing weight).
I'm personally maintaining a 70 lb wt loss for over 35 years. I do not diet.
My work is elder care management / care provider.
Even with all my decades of managing my eating disorder (and not everyone has an eating disorder who eats due to stress, exhaustion, and over-extending one's self due to family caregiver needs), I still found myself eating out of stressors related to work related interactions.
WHAT TO DO?
1. Be gentle with yourself.
2. Do what I call "Plan Aheads" - plan your meals, plan your grocery shopping, plan for the times you tend to be more vulnerable to over - or other - eat.
3. Find ways to balance your life. You (we all) need down time. Find ways to get this renewal time - be it 5 minutes several times a day or 1/2 day a week or whatever you can do. You need to take care of YOU to take care of another.
4. Incorporate some kind of exercise - moving, be it walking, stretching on the floor at home, yoga. Move and do something. Create a structure of exercise / plan and have your phone 'alarm' set for reminders. Make your plan do-able; create a 'win-win' so you'll feel good about yourself and your accomplishments.
5. Start a journal. Every time you want to 'grab' xxx that won't serve you, write instead. This would be part of the 'Plan Aheads' - what can you do as an alternative to eating when you do not want or need to and/or when you know you may start eating out of stress.
6. Find a buddy with similar desires/goals. This is for mutual support.
7. Always ask yourself when you eat non-optimally, "What did I learn from this?" instead of reprimanding yourself or self-negative judgments. Judgments and negative reinforcement does NO good for you at all.
8. Learn to feel self-compassion. When we are stressed and feel overwhelmed, we need all the self care and self-love we can muster.
9. Incorporate a treat weekly. By including a treat, you give yourself boundaries or times when it is okay to eat xxx in a limited amount. Do not necessary stop eating foods you enjoy or giving yourself a treat now and then. If you do, you may find yourself running to the frig like a 'get out of jail card.' Creating a structure eliminates this. Equally, if you are vulnerable at night (as I often am), know what foods you can have in the the house.
10. Figure out what are acceptable alternatives to over eating (i.e., apple sauce, piece of fruit, getting one ice cream portion somewhere (vs having too much in the freezer at home). Figure out what will work to support your peace of mind and goals (being healthy).
6. What I did for years is save my desserts for when I'd go out for a nice dinner - and an oatmeal cookie during the week (a large and really good one). The point is to create win-wins while moving towards your goals of health and well being.
There are many ways to do this. I use behavior modification and lots of positive reinforcement, and no judgments at all. Observe what you do, realize what your goals are, and move in small steps towards them. Gena
I say I will workout when I get home, but I get accosted with issues when I get home almost daily. I've gone vegetarian for a month, that dropped some lbs, then I did low-carb, that was so-so...I just need to mentally find something that works. I use to be an emotional eater, now it's just out of control!
I hope someone has an answer for you, for us! Sorry I could not be of more help except to say, you are not alone in the battle of the bulge.
I also weight train and do several others cardio and weight lifting classes. It is time for me or I have nothing for my mom.
My weight is back in check and my health checkups are too.
I feel selfish some days, but when I have to skip because of mom I realize it isn’t selfish.
I am fortunate to have my husband to watch mom while I workout. He also is her cook since she is celiac. He says he’d rather help and still have his wife than to have me bear it all since my siblings do not help.
So lace up those sneakers or get on that bike (I have one too! Amazing how I can put on earphones and bike my tension away!)
One more thing ... you are worth taking time for yourself. If you don’t take care of you ... who will and what will you be able to give others?
Over the years I've learned what foods set me off and what foods don't. Maybe that's something you can look at?
At times when I'm going for food and I'm really not hungry, I try this. I tell myself, I'll make a sandwich after I load the wash machine. Or sweep the floor. Any little task works. Usually the urge to eat passes after the task is done.
I keep grapes in the fridge to grab easily before I go for something fattening.
And tangerines are good because you have to take time to peel them. I'm an emotional eater and I find I calm down a bit while peeling. Any snacks I need to mess around with , like shelled peanuts, skinning apples etc... Work well for those times.
Also, I get dressed everyday. Sounds dumb but on days when there's nothing to do, I wouldn't get dressed. I found being in pj or loose sweats allowed me the comfort of eating more and more often. It didn't make me feel full because my clothes were so loose.
If I fix my hair I was less likely to plop on the couch and lay around and eat. I'd usually do something constructive around the house, which kept me active.
Don't know if this will help Deb, but it helps me. Also look into the 5/2 diet if you're serious about loosing real weigh fast. Just Google it.
Have you asked doctor about this? There might be something she can take to help with this. Our mother was given anti-anxiety meds shortly after moving into MC (her "sun-downing" when still living in her condo was more of an OCD, checking the door, dishwasher and LR over and over - she lived alone, so there was no one to rail at.) She only had one Rx, no refill. The only time it flared up was while she had UTI. Her nightly rants and demands to get out, setting off the alarms at the doors for several hours continued through the full course of the antibiotic. It took some wrangling, but finally the doc relented to a new Rx, to be used as needed. Once the UTI was done, they have not used it again, but at least we have it "on-hand" in case of another episode during doc's off hours!
Unlike some other meds, these don't need weeks to show results. If there are adverse results, other meds can be tried. They do not need to be dosed to oblivion, it is just enough to take the edge off, usually given in the evening when sun-downing starts and allows them (and you) to sleep!
I read your post about taking care of yourself - good for you! However interrupted sleep is not good for you or her - see what the doctor has to say. It can't hurt to try!
Also, I just saw a documentary tonight on NHK (a Japanese station - they often have medical and technological advances that we haven't heard about yet) about "ghost capillaries", or capillaries that die due to a number of factors like inactivity, excess carbs in the diet, etc. they said these contribute to dementia, osteoporosis, cold hands and feet, diabetes, and liver and kidney problems, because the capillaries are where the blood stream delivers oxygen and nutrients to the brain, the organs and bones. I know- Downer, right? But the good news is, doing a certain exercise for only a couple of weeks resulted in huge improvement. Guess what the exercise is.... SKIPPING! Skipping in place, 20 reps, 3 times per day was all it took. (or, even, actually skipping around the house, or, if you don't mind looking silly, go skipping outside, instead of walking). And, if that's not possible, rising up on your toes, while standing or sitting, 20 reps 3 times per day gets similar results. Because it exercises the calf muscles, which are the second way of circulating the blood, after the heart, and increasing the circulation even that much saves the capillaries. And, hey, I can do that while I'm sitting by mom's bed! One woman in the study said it removed the swelling in her legs, and I could use that benefit as well! And, diet-wise, there were 3 things (in addition to cutting back on carbs) they found protected the capillaries: 1 teaspoon of cinnamon per day, 1 cup of Rooibos tea per day (I hope it tastes good, I've never had it, but I'm gonna try it) and "long" pepper. I'll have to see if the Sprouts store where I get D-Mannose supplements for mom's battle against uti's carries these things. I know I'm rambling here, but I'm thinking, if one can do these small things, it might improve one's health and energy level, and increase their ability and motivation to be more active and healthy in general, which would help with losing weight, and even help avoid getting this horrible disease that's taking our loved ones. I'm gonna try this approach, and I'll keep you posted about any improvements I experience. If anyone else tries it, please keep me posted, as well. Well, I think I'll get started right now, and skip back to mom's room to give her her dinner, and while there, I'll rise up on my toes 20 times!
Of course I don't want him to die before his time to go, but because I thought he didn't
have but a few more days, multiple times over past years, I did not pace myself. I ended
up completely burnt out and he got better. Now I realize that isnt as unusual as I thought. Wish someone has told me :/
I have requested hospital bed for her with full railings. She got up out of bed one night and went to sleep on the couch and peed on the couch. The other night she fell out of bed. I currently have a twin mattress up against her bed with the backs of some heavy dining room chairs holding the mattress in place. The other long side of the bed is up against the wall.
I had her in a nursing home; however, she claimed abuse and looked like she might be ready to pass on. I thought I would bring her to my house to pass on. Well, of course she got better. LOL
rehabs, and all the drama, drama, with family and ambulance chasers (Dad would
imply he was multi millionaire and was neglected by terrible daughter so he'd be ensured of lots of lavish attention. Meanwhile, "terrible" daughter had to literally jog
about to keep up with hospital, rehab, AL assortment of timetables to coordinate care, before discharge.
A hospital vending machine diet is not great for the waistline. And the worst part was
after awhile I grew to crave that food because of the sugar hit. I was so burnt out
that the tiny sugar lift would be sometimes all I had to look forward to. :(
I've found that avoiding alcohol, sugar, refined carbs makes a world of difference.
And OA, Alanon, etc helps for support. Not crazy about the occasional cultish group think, but there are a lot of lovely supportive people in those groups and some of the reading makes a ton of sense to inspire positive self care.
The other thing is I found that I had to plan and carry food with me. If I let my blood
sugar dip too low, I found that I'd almost have to eat sugary junk to get my blood sugar
back up. It became a vicious circle! Not good.