Stepfather in convalescent home for several months. Stepdaughter shows up after 20 years all timid and doting. While he was there our mom died. Two weeks after, the daughter secretly flies her dad across country. Grandchildren are devastated. We are very upset as she won't give his whereabouts or a phone number to reach him. The estate lawyer for mom hasn't gotten anywhere either. We loved and cared for him all this time and now that he received the majority of my mom's estate including the home we grew up in before they married, we are fearful they have changed his will and trust. We don't care about the money but want to sell the house to a very dear friend of the family who will honor our mom's memory, not sell to highest bidder.
2. It’s unrealistic to expect honoring of your mom by selling to an old family friend. That person can and most likely will change things and that can be upsetting. Accept that she’s gone and find better ways to honor her.
3. I had a friend who worked herself into a tizzy because she sold her mom’s house to a couple of guys that she thought loved the house. When they removed all the turquoise appliances that mom chose umpteen years ago, she freaked out. Sobbing, etc. She ended up in counseling because the house had become her mother in her mind and seeing it changed was like going through the death all over again. Don’t let that be you!!
Since you do not have his address, he can't receive the money, Probate cannot be closed for a few months. In my State, 8 months. You have to give debtors time to make claims. The bank can freeze accounts. I would think Probate can hold up distribution if there maybe fraud involved. Someone could contest?
By Aunt do you mean step-fathers Sister?
Had your stepfather executed any estate planning documents? Who signed for his admission to the convalescent home? What I'm getting at, is whether any document existed, signed by him, granting authority to anyone for his care?
What justification for removal was provided to the convalescent home when the stepdaughter removed him? She would have to have had some authority to do so, I would think.
It would be very helpful and actually necessary to address these issues, i.e., who if anyone had rights of control over your stepfather?
My thoughts are:
1. Establish who if anyone had been granted legal rights over your stepfather.
2. Were those rights violated, or nonexistent, meaning that no authority existed for his removal, ASSUMING that he went with the daughter voluntarily?
3. Was your stepfather in a position cognitively and physically (b/c of being in a convalescent home) able to make an "informed" (important issue) decision?
4. If he agreed to go voluntarily, that's one thing. But if he was forcibly removed, it could segue into kidnapping. Seriously.
5. You're " fearful they have changed his will and trust". Who is "THEY"? Your stepfather and daughter? Other relatives, steprelatives?
6. Do you as "we" have authority to sell the house, pursuant to estate documents your stepfather would have executed prior to the "kidnapping?" Were you the eventual heirs after your stepfather's death? If you didn't have authority now or in the future, the issue changes.
7. How did you learn about the removal of your stepfather, and that he was flown away? Someone must be in contact with him or his daughter, or have learned of this...how?
8. I think you will have to first establish whether or not he was removed against his will, which could be a legal issue for police, especially since apparently it was across state border lines.
9. Then someone needs to assess and determine what legal action, if any, should be taken. If she "kidnapped" him, she could be prosecuted. She could also be restrained through a TRO against any changes to his estate plans.
10. Other issues would arise from who his beneficiaries are, and if you/they have/would have the authority to sell the home to the people of your choice.