We need to find the correct resources please!

If you think they will need Medicaid in the future, start the process now, while they can still be able to private pay. That way, if approved, they'll transistion from private to Medicaid.

They need to be put in NH where they Private Pay until their money is down to acceptable amount (per State you reside). Once that happens, application for Medicaid can be submitted. Does your husband have Power of Attorney for them?

As said for NH care any assets they have will need to be spent down. Monthly income is what will take you over the limit but that, I think, will be split between the two. Meaning if they bring in 4k together, splitting that will bring them to 2k a pc. In NJ where I live, this will take you under the Medicaid limit. Good question for a lawyer. There are also other ways for the overage and that is a Miller trust. The extra money goes into the irrevokable trust and when the pass, it reverts back to Medicaid. Some states call it by a different name or have other ways to do this.

You need a lawyer well versed in Medicaid. The cost may able to be taken from your parents money. I think Medicaid OKs this.

With my Mom I took the money she had left and placed her in a NH private pay for two months. This gave me time to apply to medicaid and get them everything they needed. The 3rd month Medicaid took over.

If one or both end up in the hospital and rehab is required, do it. While in rehab have him/her evaluated for longterm care. If a LTC is attached to the rehab it will be an easy transition. Make sure you tell them you can no longer care for him/her. Their SS will go towards their care. I am just giving you the basics a lawyer will explain the criteria for your state. And hopefully help you to get thru the red tape.

Carmen, although they don't qualify for community Medicaid due to income, they CAN qualify for LTC Medicaid if it is medically necessary. And being bed bound and unable to care for themselves would be a condition in which skilled nursing would be medically necessary. So what you need to do is get them qualified for LTC or nursing home Medicaid. An elder law attorney would know how to do it for you in your State. It would involve spending down their assets and structuring their income as necessary to meet the State's qualifications. Then you are going to need a Physician to sign off that they need a Nursing home level of care. Then you have to visit and apply at the homes in your area. That's the best way to go about it. The other way is to contact your State social workers and cry for help. In other words you tell them you are unable to care for them anymore. This may have the effect of the State taking guardianship of them. The problem with that is you would relinquish all control over what happens to them. the State may put them in facilities 200 miles away and you would have no say in the matter. My advice would be to meet with an elder attorney who can go over their finances and get them qualified for LTC Medicaid.

You'd be surprised what you will be able to do for the folks, even though you think they make too much money--talking to a lawyer well versed in all the ins and outs of NH living will get you started.

Then you can begin the search for a place (places? they may not qualify to live together with such differing needs) to have them live.

You may be surprised to find that they will qualify for Medicaid--and while that may not give you as many options, you will not be paying for their care.

Is dad a Vet? Veterans get different different benefits.

Your children will grow to resent Gma and Gpa for all the time and energy they are taking from you. Sadly, I have seen this over and over again--people putting their elderly parents' needs in front of their children to the point the kids can't wait to move out. Little kids are energy vampires--and so are some elderly. what's really sad is when neither 'group' likes living with the other.

I know this is hard to contemplate, but above all, you need to be strong for yourselves, your kids and lastly, your parents.

You'll get much better advice than I am giving you. Hang in there, but do find a good lawyer, it will be worth every penny you spend to navigate the system.

They will have to enter the nursing home and will be private pay until the funds are spent. They will then qualify for medicaid. This of course is not fair to your own family which must be your main priority. That you have accepted them into your own home makes this quite complicated. I would consult with an elder law person for an hour to find out the way forward. With their mental health problems I would assume they are somewhere in the medical system. You can access social services through that medical system to assist. You are admittedly in a very bad position.