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My mother is 87 years old she lives above us with my 31 year old son recovering from leukemia. She has always smoked but when in the hospital can go periods of time without. Yesterday she fell asleep with a cigarette somehow in her bed and it caught fire. I am so angry. I told her she could no longer smoke I will get her an electronic cigarette or vapor. Do you think this is too harsh? I love my mom but I don't want to lose a home either. In the past she is also left the gas on the stove on.

Your idea is perfect, & please get the vaping going right away. For your son's sake, don't let her push you around or it will never end.
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Reply to Tiger55
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Weallone, my main concern is with your son living with his Grandmother and she is vaping Juul.

One Juul electronic cigarette has the same punch as a pack of cigarettes. Therefore, if your Mom uses three refillable inserts per day, that would contains the same nicotine as 3 packs of cigarettes. The vapors are not without risk to your son.

One has to be extremely careful with the re-charging unit. These units have been known to catch fire if left on too long.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Hello hello everyone I'd like to update you kisses helps others as well. I drew the line and told my mother she could no longer smoke in the house and if she needed to I would have to find her a facility that allowed her to do that. I then went and bought her a juul which is a sort of electronic cigarette. To my amazement this is working she has been using it for almost 4 weeks and it is helping the situation.
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Thank thank you very much for the answers you given sometimes you just need to hear it read it just for confirmation.
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Reply to Werallone
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Remove the gas stove.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Thanks, sendhelp! Not, not harsh at all. Every time I look over at that yard next to us, even though there’s a new house there now, I can still see the burned out shell of our friend’s house. They even put the burned out chair he was sitting in on the driveway for a week so we all had to see it. 😢
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Do what you need to do to secure your home and at least the health of your son, if not mother's health. Get her the nicotine patch if that will make her more comfortable.

It is not too harsh, you are not being too harsh. No smoking is the natural consequence of becoming a danger to yourself or others.

If she wants to smoke, she can choose a facility that will accept smoking residents, starting with Assisted Living, but does she require more assistance than that?

While your decisions on her and your families behalf are not too harsh, you could try and muster up the rare skill to not be angry towards her. It sounds like her decline is a broken brain, and not in her power to control. Instead, you could continue to vent here, keep coming back for support, your anger is purely justified, so tell us. Welcome! So, Werallone, No guilt; No enabling her to continue to smoke; and support for your difficult times ahead. Others will be here to help support you soon.
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Werallone Jul 29, 2018
Thank thank you for giving me some things to think about. Last night when I spoke with her I told her I'm at a Crossroads. I think that's a great idea if she does not stop then I will have to find her somewhere to live in Assisted Living where they would allow that.
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Two things come to mind. Is Mom capable of living alone, even if you are downstairs? You may need to do some soul-searching here. When I walked into my mom’s apartment and found her stove on, the oven door open and the apartment at about 100 degrees, it gave me pause for thought. Is your son her caregiver? A person recovering from cancer should not be exposed to smoke and I question his ability, including physical strength. Secondly, about three years ago, one of the homes in our development burned to the ground due to careless smoking. His wife was present in the home but did not notice the fire until it was too late. The man who lived there did not make it out.

If Mom is resistant to quitting, you cannot force her. Even to take her to her doctor for the Patch or pills won’t work unless she wants to quit. Vaping may work and it may not.

I don't think this is “too harsh”. Taking her cigarettes away and not replacing them, in essence making her go “cold turkey” may seem cruel, but you’re doing it for everyone’s safety. After a few days, she may be agreeable to the Patch or pills but be aware that health insurance doesn’t cover the entire cost of stop smoking aides.

Again, Mom may need more supervision than she already has. If gas was left on and her dropped cigarette caused a fire, the entire building could explode. Your son may not be able to provide the supervision she needs during his recovery. You may want to consider a health aide.
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Sendhelp Jul 29, 2018
Good answer Ahmijoy! When I answered, there were no answers showing, but I think we agree Wellarone is not harsh.
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