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What will the military do for him? He has Medicare and Tricare for life. Is there still a spend down, etc?

Bshandy, your father's VA correspondence should indicate the "team" to which he's been assigned.   Contact them and ask to speak with the social worker assigned to that team.   I've found my father's SW to be extremely helpful in describing what other options are available to Vets, and their caregivers.

I would also sign up to receive the VA Newsletters:

https://www.va.gov/VetResources/ ;  

There's LOT of helpful information in these newsletters.

It might also be helpful to visit one of the VA centers in the Virginia Beach area to learn more about what the VA can provide.  These wouldn't necessarily be the VA hospitals, but rather the smaller, satellite type offices. 
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Reply to GardenArtist
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There is a program called Aid and Attendance run by the VA. Contact the VA to see if your dad qualifies for this assistance. From what I have heard, it is tedious to file for this benefit but if approved, it will help with money you can use to care for the veteran at home, in assisted living or in a nursing home.

Because of his age, ask if his application can be expedited.

There are look back periods involved and you must show financial need. It is rare to qualify for both Medicaid and Aid and Attendance at the same time. The VA is very helpful. Contact them first.
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Reply to Alicew234
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FloridaDD Mar 1, 2020
The look back period for VA A&A is only three years, and they can keep more cash.   Yes, if over 90, put on top of application, expedited application - over 90 is requested.  We got  my  moms in 4 months, and they pay retroactive from date of application.
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