You say u have moved them in then not yet. It sounds like FIL is pretty far into his Dementia. He probably needs medication for the hallucinations and paranoia. Changes will effect him more. You are taking him from what he knows to a strange place. It will cause confusion as u said. You have taken on a lot. Dementia has no ryhmn or reason. One moment they are lucid the next telling you ur lying to them. At ur FILs stage he should not be left alone.
A primary doctor won't be enough. FIL should see a neurologist.
Thank you for your reply... he has refused medications from his neurologist that might be helpful. I feel as though we have failed him... and my mother in law. We have catered to him since he’s been here and tried to keep him from becoming agitated however this morning he woke up very early and combative... he slapped my MIL, tried to choke my husband and hit my son with a plant stand. We called 911. No one was was physically hurt however my FIL was arrested. We wanted him to be taken to hospital for eval but with the circumstances we didn’t have a choose on what happened. Husband has been working with health and human services and the DAs office to see options on getting an eval and into a treatment facility. They also put a restraining order against him coming around us. Not how we thought this would play out but...
We are moving them from one state to another to be closer to us.. I know this plays a factor and can worsen the dementia. He has numerous other health issues ( cataract surgery that went bad, HBP, diabetes, and a previous TIA). We are see morning confusion more than sundowners, repeating conversations multiple times a day, his hearing is horrible, random rants mainly at night and think people are conspiring against him and stealing things from the house. Will not seek help and says nothing is wrong with him, that we are just all out to get him. Is very paranoid that people can get all of his information from his computer and thinks Trump emails him daily. ( because of all of the SPAM mail).
A lot of people who have dementia are not mentally capable of accepting or understanding their condition. He may never accept that he has dementia. And, even if he did, he'd forget about it. So, you'd have to keep repeating it every day or every hour. It may be a kind thing that he isn't aware, since it's a scary thing to go through. Depending on the circumstances, you can still get him help or get others to help you in your caretaking, though.
I’m hoping when we establish him with a new primary care physician that we can get some help! Thank you for your perspective of maybe him not realizing is best! I am sure it’s very scarey to be the one going through it!
Tell us more about his dementia – what stage is it at and what are its effects at present? Denial is very common. What difference are you expecting it to make if he didn’t deny it?
A primary doctor won't be enough. FIL should see a neurologist.