He was taking to hospital, I took him, his foot was very swollen, blood clots and he is an alcoholic, so he was detoxed and we was told he needed 24 hour care to be released. He has been there for 6 months, but no help for his alcoholism.

I put his wife there also, but we are not sure she can ever live outside facility, but we are doing PT and OT. He is mean to her so they have separate rooms. He has a daughter and granddaughter, but they will not help. I have been paying their bills and taking care of them daily since February. Had hard time getting info from medical and they asked me to be POA. So here I am.

I'm thinking he won’t be able to live on his own, but kept his car that he loves stored for him. I just need to find out if he can live on his own ever. He calls daily 8-10 times and I usually have to run over there daily, he is very needy, and his wife is the one that really needs someone, she has nobody, no family, just him. Thank you

Hi Buddy, it sounds like the Dr's at the hospital have already made that determination, it sounds like he needs 24/7 care. That is very kind and good of you to take on the responsibility of POA, and of being a good friend to him.
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Reply to mstrbill

First, being POA does not mean your at his beck and call. Actually, there is nothing that is that important that you need to run over all the time. Me personally do not do needy well. POA is a tool. Hopefully, you are not using any of your money. When theirs runs out, time to apply for Medicaid and LTC. I doubt at 82 he will get better to the point he doesn't need some assistance. An AL is a good place for him. If he was independent, he would probably ask more of your time. I have a feeling his wife did everything for him. The AL Nurse should be able to judge if he needs 24/7 still. As an alchoholic, he may have early stage Dementia if not, he probably will. I would just leave him where he is. ALs are not equipped to treat for alcoholism. They work under Drs orders.

By being at his beck and call you are not allowing him to rely on the people he is paying for. You need to set boundries now. You need to sit him down and look him in the eye and tell him you cannot do this anymore. He needs to take advantage of what the AL offers. They have a common area for getting to know other residents. There are activities and entertainment. He gets 3 meals a day. Snacks. At Moms, there was always a party going on. Aides to help him with his ADLs. You don't have to answer every call. Let them go to the AM. If you feel like a daily visit thats OK but realize one day you just may not want to go and thats OK.

You are a good neighbor but these two people are not really your responsibility. There will come a time when they will need more care than an AL can provide. At that time, I would place them in LTC. If money has run out, then Medicaid for their care. All their needs will be met in LTC. Visiting is all you will need to do if you want. There is a reason the daughter wants nothing to do with her parents, probably the father. What u see and what she grew up with are 2 different things.

There also may come a time when you need to hand their care over to the State if daughter does not step in. This may need to happen when money runs out and an LTC is needed. At that time I may revolk my POA and let the State assign a guardian.
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Reply to JoAnn29

You have taken on POA for a friend who is an alcoholic? Whose family doesn't wish to do this care? That is a lot of work. Were I you I would not have accepted this burden. Do know that whatever income is coming in, and bills are going out, that you are responsible to keep careful records.
I think it is unlikely your friend will come out of long term care. If you wish to continue as his POA that would be up to you. I agree with JoAnn that if the family wishes nothing to do with this couple, given the history you relate there is likely good reason for that.
You may resign your POA through a Lawyer and have the State seek guardianship and handle their bills ongoing. That way you can remain a friend and visit as much as you wish, but all other matters will be out of your hands.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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