Per her part time caretakers it's abuse if we go and leave her. The agency says she has no more hours of care. Any advice?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I am not certain what level of cognizance Mother has? Or what you are saying. Or asking.
You have a vacation planned. Good.
Mother lives with you. What plans do you have in place to care for her while you are gone?
Is she being seen to 24/7?
Does she have dementia?
How many hours of care does she have?
Is she safe the other hours when she will be alone?
If you are leaving her with dementia and no one present in the home, yes, it is abuse. If you are leaving someone who does NOT have dementia, and can call 911 in emergency, safely cook for and care for herself, then she is NOT being abused.
Do let us know more facts!!!!! And hope it's a great vacation planned.
Helpful Answer (6)

Well your MIL and her caretaker are dead wrong. It’s not elder abuse. You aren’t committing elder abuse by taking a vacation without her. What she, and her caretaker are doing, however, is considered manipulation. FOG perhaps? fear obligation and guilt.

Take your vacation and enjoy it!!! Have a wonderful time knowing knowing she’s being taken care of by someone else! It is called respite care like Joann said and all caregivers deserve it!
Helpful Answer (3)
JoAnn29 Sep 2019
She mentions that caregiver is part-time which looks like Mom will be alone the rest of the time.
Its called respite care. Even ALs offer it if they have a room. It will cost you but you will enjoy ur vacation better knowing she is cared for.
Helpful Answer (4)

Holy Moley my BIL and his wife leave my 96 YO FIL home all the time when they go on vacay! This year is the first time they have ever taken him anywhere! He has paid CG who come every other day for 4 hours. Maybe you will need to pay ( or she will need to pay) for more care,, but you deserve a break.. go for it however you need to set it up. And a short term stay at a facility is not a death sentence!
Helpful Answer (4)

I think that you should find a nice nursing home for your mother to go into for respite care while you are away.

When you return, consider long and hard if you want her back in your home.

Of course it's NOT elder abuse to go away for a vacation. You may need to hire more care, using Mother's money. But putting her in a facility while you are gone makes MUCH more sense. If she falls, or requires medical treatment, there will be someone at hand.
Helpful Answer (5)

It's hard to respond with so little facts. Is your mother capable of taking care of herself? If not, are there any arrangements for her care during your absence? When you say she has "no more hours of care" do you mean none at all for the period of your absence or no more than her usual hours? If the latter, is that enough for her needs to be met? Will there be anyone for her to call if there's an emergency while you're gone, or she needs something like food or medicine?

More facts, please?
Helpful Answer (2)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter