We had to terminate our live in aide of 2 years. One of the things we found out was that she was taking food home.

Do the servants' quarters you offer have a kitchenette? Did she have her own mini-fridge or did she have to use your main kitchen's refrigerator?

Were you paying her FICA taxes? Did you issue her a W2? And yes, I am suggesting that you can't hide behind a manual if you didn't do things by the book as her employer.

Does your manual address the tax treatment of employer-provided meals and lodging?

Does your manual address doing laundry? Was she allowed to do her laundry or would you have considered that theft of detergent and fabric softener?

Perhaps if you had treated her with courtesy and talked with her instead of taking the word of a relief aide and bullying her with a manual you would have gotten better outcomes. Better luck next time.

I am wondering if the “manual” spelled out the disciplinary action policy as far as what you consider to be offenses that warrant termination? Did you have the ex aide sign an acknowledgment of receipt that she/he read it?

It doesn’t much matter anyway if yours is a “right to work” state meaning an employer does reserve the right to terminate an employee for behavior they see as unfit. Wrongful terminations are very difficult to prove and cost lots of money for the employee to fight. Employers know this as well.

I am thinking that perhaps I would have gathered specific examples and presented the aide with those examples & given them the chance to prove or disprove, or improve this behavior. After two years at my home working as a CG, she at least earned an opportunity to defend herself.

What about the person who was/is being cared for? Is the patient affected by the change in aides?

I agree that caregivers in this setting are different from mechanics or plumbers. How was the relationship between the caregiver and the care receiver? Was it good? If so, that is priceless.

I think the relief aide had an ulterior motive to take over the job.

In one of your replies, you mention that this aide is also thought to have taken petty cash. Are you sure that is true?

The reason I wonder is that theft of money is a really clear-cut, obvious offence. Taking food home with you when it has been provided for your use, at least in theory, is much less so. So why is the food the story if you were sure about the money?

You provide your aides with a manual. That's a good start. But you gave this aide the manual, which presumably covered a number of expectations and conditions; and you seem to have done this *instead* of talking to her about your concern over the food question specifically. When she didn't take the hint, you fired her.

Why could you not say: "we have noticed x y z, this is not okay, and I want to make it clear that the food we provide is for consumption during working hours on the premises only. Capiche?"

Such a sticky situation.

Lets say she is paid at least $10 and for a 40 hr week. Thats $400 a week, 1600 a month. If she was able to get HUD housing, they take 30% of your income so 530 a month. Then she pays for electric, TV and food.
Now she is a caregiver. She still makes $10 an hour with room and board and her utilities. Seems like she is given time off if there is a relief aide. So now she gets 1600 free and clear. That's over 20k a year she can spend on herself. So, why does she need to steal food. And food is not cheap.

After 2 yrs, maybe it could be handled differently. Maybe the relief aide was after the job.

I wonder if the reliever aid got an increase in her hours after gaslighting(?) the primary live in care giver?

The care giver should have asked if she could take left-overs. You might have agreed. It doesn't seem a horrible thing to do, just a lack of judgement. Or it was her day to work, so she was taking her supper that she had made? A misunderstanding?

I would have approached it from a different angle. First I would have asked her if she was hungry. If she was, then I would have made sure she had enough food to take home. Especially for someone that had provided care for 2 years. Maybe she simply isn't making enough to get by.

I'm confused about something. You say it's a live in aide. So isn't your house her home? She's live in. What "home" is she taking this food to?

How do you know she was taking the food? Was she taking enough food for her personal consumption on days off or enough to feed a family? Fresh food or boxed/canned stuff with a longer shelf life? Is there any possibly some of the food was purchased with her funds and just prepared at your mother's home? If she's live in for several days at a time, then she would need to shop for fresh foods on her way home, much more of a inconvenience when you're tired. Did you actually discuss this with her prior to the firing or just hand her "an aid manual"?

I'm Southern and we like to send people home with a few left overs so unless she was taking a ton of food home, I would have most likely ignored it, particularly if she was providing good care for a dementia patient. Before firing her, I would have discussed it at least twice with the final discussion including a warning that if the behavior was repeated again, it would lead to her dismissal.

She did not return to the house while off duty, she took a few items with her.

A reliever aide saw it on multiple occasions as she was leaving mom's house. Even after I spelled out the policy in a manual. Very discouraging when you thought you knew someone.

I have never hired a Caregiver but this is so wrong and its stealing. Days on or days off. If Caregiver does breakfast, lunch and dinner, then yes, its logical she would sit and eat too. But to take food items from the house is a no no. Coming back on days off is definitely stealing. I wouldn't even think of telling a CG that she wasn't allowed to take food home. I would think that would be a given. The gaul of people. How did you figure out after 2 yrs what she was doing.