Secretely take the battery out and then tell her it's broken and it needs to be replaced or fixed. Then just don't mention it. If she asks for it, tell her you're working on it. She may still get mad, but that's part of the cost of dementia.
I've had to stop driving privileges for 4 LOs in my family. I get the whole endlessly angry thing.
I doubt there is a way you can do this without her being mad. There are many things we have to do that make our parents mad. Is she calling all the time? Falling for scams?
I just switched my mom to a landline from a cell phone. She couldn't remember to keep it charged. Or she couldn't answer it. This was a jitterbug (lively now) but it's not easy for someone with dementia.
I stumbled upon a service called Telecalm that you plug your landline into and it using cell service to connect (something like that anyways). Then you can download an app and set which phone numbers can call in to eliminate scams. And you can set quiet hours. And if she calls the same number X number of times within X minutes, no more calls allowed for a period of time. Loving it!
My dad kept destroying cell phones, we found one in the tank of his toilet at MC. I then got him a land line. He averaged 1000 phone calls per month. I took the phone, told him the battery needed to be replaced and never brought it back. Best thing I ever did. He now has to spend time with other residents and does not sit in his room alone all day dialing my phone number. He still asks for a phone but does not remember the name for it, I know what he means, and I tell him every time that my sister is sending him one and then we move on to a different topic.
OMGOODNESS I giggled at this! : ) That is such a great idea! I never had the phone call problem because my daddy couldn't remember what the phone was. But he did know he had money (not a lot but he knew he had a bank account) he wanted me to give it to him I told him I had it hidden under the house and no one could get to it! Thank you for the great idea and I'm gonna put that in a file for future reference! Thumbs up!
I needed to take away my mom's cell phone because she was buying things online and I was worried about scammers. I found a device called GrandPad which is basically a phone and entertainment device. It allows me to set up who can call her so no fear of scammers and it also allows me to structure who she can call... so I have all her family members and friends listed for her to easily call or even email them. It also allowed me to remove the keypad so she could not make random calls.
Others have said this here but the best way to save yourself from being the bad guy is to take the SIM card out and then turn off the phone. When she turns it back on it will be “broken”. Then you tell her that her cell provider went out of business and you are looking for another one for her. Delay, delay, delay is often the only way.
The phone issue is much like the car issue. Eventually you have to take extreme measures to put an end to it.
I cancelled my mom's phone carrier service but allowed her to keep her phone. She just thought the battery was always dead. After awhile she forgot about having a phone.
Agree with many others here…disconnect the service and tell her phone needs to be repaired. Take phone and soon she will have forgotten all about it. If she does ask about it, just tell her it’s being repaired. If she happens to ask about the phone bill, tell her they don’t bill you while phone is in repair. Just get creative about your fibbing. Again, she’ll forget about the phone soon enough.
Lose it. Tell her she must have lost it. Make sure staff is aware you have taken it. My daughter, RN in a NH, says when a phone is missing, a report has to be written up and it has to be looked for. Only to find out that family took it.
My dad was calling people at all hours (butt dial/playing). I told him his flip phone was no longer supported and he had to upgrade him. I gave him an old iPhone I had. He couldn’t adapt to technology so it is now for emergency only.
when we would go to medical appts at hospital (lots of time spent there at height of Covid) I would give it to him and tell him to give to the nurse if he needs to get me. Everyone knows how to use an iPhone. I put codes and number to me (sole caregiver) on the back with my label maker.
I've had to stop driving privileges for 4 LOs in my family. I get the whole endlessly angry thing.
I just switched my mom to a landline from a cell phone. She couldn't remember to keep it charged. Or she couldn't answer it. This was a jitterbug (lively now) but it's not easy for someone with dementia.
I stumbled upon a service called Telecalm that you plug your landline into and it using cell service to connect (something like that anyways). Then you can download an app and set which phone numbers can call in to eliminate scams. And you can set quiet hours. And if she calls the same number X number of times within X minutes, no more calls allowed for a period of time. Loving it!
That is such a great idea! I never had the phone call problem because my daddy couldn't remember what the phone was. But he did know he had money (not a lot but he knew he had a bank account) he wanted me to give it to him I told him I had it hidden under the house and no one could get to it! Thank you for the great idea and I'm gonna put that in a file for future reference! Thumbs up!
The phone issue is much like the car issue. Eventually you have to take extreme measures to put an end to it.
when we would go to medical appts at hospital (lots of time spent there at height of Covid) I would give it to him and tell him to give to the nurse if he needs to get me. Everyone knows how to use an iPhone. I put codes and number to me (sole caregiver) on the back with my label maker.
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