My mother moved in with YB 22 years ago and only pays for the cable bill as she said she HAD to have it. Well, it's about $150 a month and she pays nothing toward the extra electric, gas or just 'maintenance'. YB was very altruistic when mother moved in---and now he is bitter and angry. She only gets about $2K a month, but other than about $200 for groceries and a about $200 for health insurance riders, she has no debt.
He has had to go PT with his job, and the rest of us sibs will 'tip him out' pretty much every year at Christmas time, he has always been underemployed with a large family.
To my knowledge, there was only a verbal agreement that she would pay for the addition he built on his house for her. She didn't, and we sibs all had to scramble to pay him for it, he almost lost his home. A lot of bad feelings about that for a lot of years.
She will NEVER go into long term care, he has the apt set up for a Hoyer hoist when the time comes and has said he will retire and take care of her 24/7 before placing her.
Records of money spent and lent are pretty wishy washy, but I'm not the POA and I don't honestly care.
Nobody listened to me when I voted AGAINST the move to YB's home, so I keep quiet. I thought it was a terrible idea when they did it and my opinion has not changed. Brother has had a rough go for 22 years--but he CHOSE it, so I keep quiet and watch the drama go by.
Whatever you do here you should take great care with. Reasonable cost of living costs would not be questioned. Grocery bill. Gas and electric bill. etc. But if you are charging rent it would be good to attend an elder law attorney to work out a contract that will stand up against any medicaid lookback of 5 years if that is ever needed. It is dependent on her income I would think, what she can give you as reasonable rental, food, care. But DO pass this by a lawyer and write up a contract and do the taxes on it each year. You want meticulous records if you choose to go this route. If you go the route of Pam above you should still keep records. If Mom buys a TV that goes in her folders as a receipt for money she has spent on herself. If she pays for cleaning lady or gas and electric everything should just be written in a ledger book so it is understood what she is paying and that it is a reasonable expenditure for her own cost of living.
Is a caregiver agreement taxable to me? We decided mother will pay around 80K per year and additional money if she wants to buy things or have us take her anywhere. It really will save her money as nursing homes cost even more.
My mom lives with us, and we have no CG agreement as we are all pretty OK at this point,, she has way more in the bank than we do, but we can afford her.. lol, But that said,, she does pay some of the bills. She pays the TV, electric ( as those bills went up when she and my deceased dad moved in) and gives us money for groceries and the Costco bill,, and often for gas for driving her places. She also pays the house cleaner once a month ( on hold due to COVID). I would look at what the increases in your household bills, and then add in what you think they could increase too.. Mom also pays for her own "stuff".. like a new TV for her room, and her clothes and medicines. Your mom should be able to pay for her own things, and then you look at what your increases will be. Also take into account what her income is.. You don't want to bankrupt her, but she should pay a fair amount. A lot of people say if there are 3 people, she could possibly pay 1/3 of the total bills if she can afford it? I know this depends on your situation,, so good luck!
You should really talk with a certified elder law attorney (www.nelf.org) before you take any money from your mom.
My mother moved in with YB 22 years ago and only pays for the cable bill as she said she HAD to have it. Well, it's about $150 a month and she pays nothing toward the extra electric, gas or just 'maintenance'. YB was very altruistic when mother moved in---and now he is bitter and angry. She only gets about $2K a month, but other than about $200 for groceries and a about $200 for health insurance riders, she has no debt.
He has had to go PT with his job, and the rest of us sibs will 'tip him out' pretty much every year at Christmas time, he has always been underemployed with a large family.
To my knowledge, there was only a verbal agreement that she would pay for the addition he built on his house for her. She didn't, and we sibs all had to scramble to pay him for it, he almost lost his home. A lot of bad feelings about that for a lot of years.
She will NEVER go into long term care, he has the apt set up for a Hoyer hoist when the time comes and has said he will retire and take care of her 24/7 before placing her.
Records of money spent and lent are pretty wishy washy, but I'm not the POA and I don't honestly care.
Nobody listened to me when I voted AGAINST the move to YB's home, so I keep quiet. I thought it was a terrible idea when they did it and my opinion has not changed. Brother has had a rough go for 22 years--but he CHOSE it, so I keep quiet and watch the drama go by.
But that said,, she does pay some of the bills. She pays the TV, electric ( as those bills went up when she and my deceased dad moved in) and gives us money for groceries and the Costco bill,, and often for gas for driving her places. She also pays the house cleaner once a month ( on hold due to COVID). I would look at what the increases in your household bills, and then add in what you think they could increase too.. Mom also pays for her own "stuff".. like a new TV for her room, and her clothes and medicines. Your mom should be able to pay for her own things, and then you look at what your increases will be. Also take into account what her income is.. You don't want to bankrupt her, but she should pay a fair amount. A lot of people say if there are 3 people, she could possibly pay 1/3 of the total bills if she can afford it? I know this depends on your situation,, so good luck!