Everything that goes wrong is my fault. She screams at me and yells hateful things. She is hyper-sensitive to how I care for her, how I clean, and how I cook.
I would call Office of Aging and ask if they can evaluate your situation. I would also speak to a lawyer well versed in Medicaid. You may want to protect your half of the assets if your wife ever needs Medicaid. Her half can be used on her care, once gone, you can place her with Medicaid paying for her care. You would then become the Community Spouse, be able to stay in your home and have a car. SS and any pensions will be split so you will not become impoverished.
If you have assets, it's time to look at deploying them.
In September, FMIL went to chemo and FFIL insisted he could handle it all himself. In November, FFIL went down with a stroke.
Don't be them. If you have a house and nothing else, this is the time to look into a reverse mortgage or equity line. Your kids (if you have them) will be fine and technically you owe them nothing.
shubnad, make an appointment with your wife's primary doctor and have her checked for an urinary tract infection..... such an infection can cause a person to yell and cause fights.
So sorry to read that you are going through this.... this isn't how you thought your retirement would be. With any type of illness, one becomes upset because they are able to do the same things they did years ago. So when your wife is yelling at you, she is actually yelling at herself for having MS. Is it fair to you, of course not.
I am curious, why do you need to lift your wife 80 times a day?
No one deserves to be yelled at and constantly criticized. Your wife may be in pain or depressed at her situation but that’s not an excuse to take it out on you. Please have an honest talk with her. Maybe it’s time for a doctor visit to better evaluate and treat her so she can be more comfortable and able to care for herself. But there’s no way you can or should continue as things are. Be clear about this, and find a new plan for her care. I wish you well
Sounds like caring for your wife in the home is just getting to be too much for you, and that's ok. You've done your best for a long time, and now it's either time for you to hire some outside help to come in and assist with your wife and household chores, or it's time to place her in the appropriate facility, where she will receive 24/7 care. You can't continue on the path you're on, as it will more than likely lead to your demise, and then what? You must take care of yourself, and at this point, do what's best for you as well. Best wishes.
In September, FMIL went to chemo and FFIL insisted he could handle it all himself. In November, FFIL went down with a stroke.
Don't be them. If you have a house and nothing else, this is the time to look into a reverse mortgage or equity line. Your kids (if you have them) will be fine and technically you owe them nothing.
So sorry to read that you are going through this.... this isn't how you thought your retirement would be. With any type of illness, one becomes upset because they are able to do the same things they did years ago. So when your wife is yelling at you, she is actually yelling at herself for having MS. Is it fair to you, of course not.
I am curious, why do you need to lift your wife 80 times a day?