lisahansen Asked August 2010

We were asked to care for my Husband's mother (live-in situation). What is normal financial compensation to care for someone with Diabetes and Alzheimer's?

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My husband's brother and wife were taking care of her for 1 1/2 years. Now it is our turn. They are giving us 2,500 from here estate, but with her healthy diet, increased laundry (she had overnight diapers, but they leak) and increased utilities (she does not like to be too hot or too cold). I am wondering if 2,500 is underpayment. Since we have had her (6 months), I have carefully planned her diabetic meals (the Dr. is thrilled and has cut back one of her diabetic pills. We have also discovered a skin cancer and has had it removed. We are also taking care of her feet. I am also typing up her personal history. The other family did not even know that a diabetic person needed a diabetic diet. We were told about the financial arrangements the day we took her in...by note. (the other family is quite dominating and rude) I have been laid off, but feel I am closing in on a new job, my husband is wondering why I am looking for a job, but I am needing money, which he finally understands.

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Just wanted to add that the first year I had my Mom I wouldnt think of taking money. But you know what? Things change when day after day, week after week and month after month when the siblings do NOTHING and you do it all, it will only go to them should something happen to mom. Why would one do it all and all sibling reep the benefits of an inheritance not helping?
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toadballet1 Aug 2010
Lisa: Wow...that's a lot to deal with, especially when it is "dumped in your lap" all at once by rude relatives. So happy that your hub finally "got it" that you need to work and earn income. You realize that, in our culture, all the "dirty work" of caregiving falls to the women folk. You will be primarily responsible even if it is your hub's Mom. (btw: Is that $2,500 per month or year? I hope it's month.) Bless you for taking the time to figure out her diet and meds and getting her the care she needs.
Having parents move in is a BIG step. Sit down with the hub NOW and outline your expectations...you may find that they vary drastically. To avoid burnout, you should share the caregiving duties equally (sounds like the hub was hoping that you would make caregiving your fulltime job). Also, I really like the idea of family "taking turns," but do you guys also have a 1 1/2 year limit on your care? The family should not assume that this is a permanent arrangement.
It is also my personal belief that the person caring for a parent needs to have the POAs...if for no other reason, than they are closest to the situation. I would not charge my Mom for the care I give her. She pays for all of the items she needs. I take her to the doc, take care of her bills, do errands, laundry, etc.
Good luck...communication is the key.
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Wow, thats insane. The average pay is $15 per hour for 8 hours a day. If you work outside the home and use daycare, its still the same. 10 hours a day is average for weekends so we are talking almost $1,000 a week but you must take out about 30% in which you will have to pay for taxes at the end of the year. This is a 'caregivers contract" made by the POA usually. Any accountant will tell you the average pays, as they are Trustees for many families. You must realize that your taxes and heating bills are going to be high, not only food, clothes, etc for them. They also pay for their own diapers and wipes and medications, you dont.
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