She is like a baby. I am happy taking care of her as I did for 61 years of married. I am afraid if something bad happens to me she will be abandoned. What should I do to prevent it? We leave alone.
Start looking for assisted living for you both now. Do not wait for a crisis i.e. something happens to you. Depending on your budget, you may have to look further afield than where you currently reside. If you own your home, call a realtor to get an assessment of how much it's worth and consider selling it and using the proceeds to pay for your longterm care.
I hope you’re wearing a life alert type pendant around the clock. If you fall or have another emergency you need to be able to summon help. Do you have any help coming in to assist you or adult children who are aware and helpful if needed?
At this point, it would probably be best if you hire some outside help to come in an assist you with your wife's care. That way if something were to happen to you, the agency would be aware that something was up, and take the appropriate steps to protect your wife. You can also get hospice involved at this point, and they will have a nurse to come out once a week, to check your wife's vitals, and will also send an aide to bathe her twice a week. That way you would have extra sets of eyes on you and your wife. And last, but not least, you can always place her in a nursing facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs, and where you can just get back to being her dear, sweet husband of 61 years. God bless you and keep you.
The same thoughts and fear that I had when I cared for my Husband. I think all caregivers feel the same way. I talked with an Elder Care Attorney and set up a "Special Needs Trust" that provided for my Husband if something were to happen to me. this might be a good thing for you to do as well. Now a tough question. Would you consider moving to an Assisted Living Community? They would be able to help you care for her. AND important here if something happened to you they would be able to help you as well. You would be in a community that would give you a bit more company and socialization. If you have children have you talked to them about your fears? Have you talked to them about what they would do if something were to happen to you. Do you have Hospice? If not you might want to contact one and have them come in and evaluate the situation. Having Hospice would get you the supplies, equipment and hep a few days a week. you would also have a Social Worker that you can discuss options with. (((HUGS))) to you. Please keep us posted.
Your profile does not mention that your wife has any cognitive issues, like dementia or Alzheimer's. Is this why she is "like a baby"? One option is to consider transitioning both of you into a care community now because you'd be in control of all the decisions on her behalf, especially choosing a good facility and letting the admin know that there is no one else to care for her after you. Depending on the facility and your wife's mental/health issues the facility may even allow you to be in the same apartment where you can continue to be her primary caregiver.
You should also take care of the legal documents necessary: guardianship of your wife since she is no longer mentally competent to make decisions on her own behalf, and assigning a PoA for yourself, create a Living Will for your advance health care decisions, and a Last Will if you have anything to pass on or donate. If you don't have anyone who would satisfy the role of being your PoA you can find a professional to do this. What a sweet husband you are...may you find good solutions and have peace in your heart as you tend to your wife's (and your own) needs.
Why doesn't she get out of bed?
There are assisted living facilities and nursing homes.
There is hospice as well.
Can you elaborate on what you mean by “acting like a baby?”
Wishing you and your wife all the best.
I talked with an Elder Care Attorney and set up a "Special Needs Trust" that provided for my Husband if something were to happen to me.
this might be a good thing for you to do as well.
Now a tough question.
Would you consider moving to an Assisted Living Community? They would be able to help you care for her. AND important here if something happened to you they would be able to help you as well. You would be in a community that would give you a bit more company and socialization.
If you have children have you talked to them about your fears? Have you talked to them about what they would do if something were to happen to you.
Do you have Hospice? If not you might want to contact one and have them come in and evaluate the situation. Having Hospice would get you the supplies, equipment and hep a few days a week. you would also have a Social Worker that you can discuss options with.
(((HUGS))) to you.
Please keep us posted.
You should also take care of the legal documents necessary: guardianship of your wife since she is no longer mentally competent to make decisions on her own behalf, and assigning a PoA for yourself, create a Living Will for your advance health care decisions, and a Last Will if you have anything to pass on or donate. If you don't have anyone who would satisfy the role of being your PoA you can find a professional to do this. What a sweet husband you are...may you find good solutions and have peace in your heart as you tend to your wife's (and your own) needs.