So, my SO has been involved with men who have failed to thrive and moved in with their parents for years, as they like him share a shore fishing hobby that frankly tends to attract such people. They failed to thrive, they became unemployed, they now want to stay that way so now they’ve moved in to mom and dads, and caregiver creep then sneaks up on them as well as they being emotionally arrested at the age of 14. Like, when any of them come to the door, it’s like they are really 14. You’re sitting there in your robe telling them we’re busy, and they dawdle on your porch, oh, I see his truck is here.
Ive been on what, nine of these dudes so far but he keeps picking them up. The latest hi neighbor unfortunately lives within seeing distance of us. This winner lost his job when he went to jail for domestic violence on his divorcing wife, won’t support his kid and instead is puttering around mommy and daddy’s house “helping out.”
Well now the water to their house has failed, and he’s over there at mommy and daddy’s after making sure their old asses are out of there to fix this issue for this latest fishing friend he has. This is now the fourth day he’s been at it and since daddums has the checkbook, how is he even gonna get paid the freelance rate? Mr Worthless is NOT family. I had to, chose to, bail so out on his stupid boat rent since all mr worthless has done is shag tinder girlfriends on it vs selling it versus fixing it.
I don’t want to leave him, but I’m really getting tired of this.
My problem is that he is spending entirely too much time on this, way more than we can reasonably afford.
Remember what we always counsel people here?
You cannot change anyone. You can only make decisions for you.
Did I misunderstand?
Is it the SO who is "shagging girlfriends" on the boat? YOUR SO????
My question is, if that's the case, WHY don't you want to leave him?
I mean I can understand if you are afraid, if you don't have the funds to leave.
But otherwise I am afraid I can't understand at all.
I would so much rather be alone than with someone who is hurting me, who is angering me. Who is betraying me. SO MUCH rather.
So again, if I understand this, what is the reason you are afraid to leave?
Don't give me "love". Because "loving" someone while he is shagging someone on the boat won't compute in my old brain. That would indicate a need for some serious counseling about what is under that word "love".