What are some helpful ways to wake up my grandmother with Alzheimer's without making her upset?

Dear Ciara,

Bless you for supporting both your Mom and Granmother in this way.

I found that my Mom’s morning waking depended greatly on her sleep.

Over time we adjusted or took these things into considerstion:

What time she she went to bed -
Adjusting sleep times so that waking happens earlier (or later). This meant turning down lights an hour before bedtime.
No stimulating activity or tv.
Keep the house quiet in the hour before bed and turn out any nearby lights when she is in bed.

How often she woke in the night -
Poor sleep makes anyone grumpy. We did everything we could to improve her sleep - Melatonin, Tylenol for her arthritis pain, lightweight down comforter that didn’t place pressure on her skin or get her tangled up at night. Keeping the room cool and quiet. Reducing liquids after 5pm to prevent toilet trips during the night.

Waking her slowly/gradually -
Opening the door and letting light into the room first.
Playing soft music.
Dont rush. Start early and take it slow.
Break up your visits to her room. Don’t hover or pressure her.
Dont talk a lot. It can be jarring when you are not fully awake or resisting waking.

Visual cues, familiar smells and sounds to wake up to are better than words -
Open curtains.
Lay our her daytime clothes.
place coffee where she can see (and smell) it.
Smile at her when she looks at you.
Music rather than an alarm clock.
Morning news played very softly.

Giving her pleasant things to wake up for -
Use TLC throughout the waking and dressing process.
Let the pets, if she likes them, come and greet her.
Bring her coffee/toast/juice on a tray.
Speak minimally and softly
dont give instructions - make statements “Good morning Grandma.” instead of “time to get up.” I made you some nice hot coffee and toast” instead of “have some coffee it will wake you up.”
Offer to help rather than instruct - “Can I help you sit up?”

Best of luck to you! Daughters like you are golden. Remember to take give yourself TLC too in the mornings.

Your grandma is rather young, but you seem to know she has Alzheimer's, so i imagine she has been diagnosed, and is likely taking some meds intended to help. It may be time to have her seen by her doctor again.

It was a great help to me and my wife when we were able to change her doctor over to an agency that visited our home. They had a care manager we could contact anytime we had a problem and followed up with us at least monthly, and the agency had a doctor, NP, nurses, social worker, etc available to make periodic visits, all covered by Medicare.

Make sure she’s tested for a urinary tract infection. My mom had raging ones and became angry,disoriented and physically combative.

There are tons of different kinds of alarm clocks on the market today. Find one that plays soft music that slowly gets louder, or birdsong.

Make sure she’s getting enough sleep. I’m sure crabby if I don’t and everything sets me off. As a final solution, maybe have a caregiver come in for a few hours in the morning who could take her to her daughter’s house when she’s ready.

Ahmijoy has a very good answer...what time are you trying to get her up? My mom wasnt sleeping well at night, waking up a lot and then was tired and cranky in the morning. She’s taking melatonin now at night and is sleeping better. I feel it’s always better to let her wake up on her own. Maybe someone could come in just for a couple hours in the morning to get her up and going.

First it is best to keep the same schedule every day. So even on days off, get her up at the same time, the days you go to work later, get her up at the same time.
Is there a reason your sister can not come to your house to watch Grandma? It will get more and more difficult to transport her and she will also begin to sleep more. Sleep longer and more often.
You also might want to get her into bed a bit earlier if it is getting more difficult for her to get up. I do like the sounds of the house starting to wake her before she "has" to get up. Voices either yours and your Mom's as well as the TV or the radio will work. If there is a light dimming possibility start the lights on a bit low then increase the light in the room. This will work as the days get shorter and it remains dark longer. Switch the bulbs to LED ones so the light is a more true light.

I just to thank y’all for the advice you’ve given. Turning on Steve Harvey and slowly brightening the chandelier helped a lot this morning. She was like, “it’s morning already? I’m sorry I wasn’t up earlier.” It was a better day than we’ve had lately.

I know having to wake her up isn’t the ideal option but as a group of caregivers helping each other out, do we really need to judge each other on how things are done? I try my best to wait till the last absolute moment she has to get up. She even used to work as a home health aide and now she’s the one who needs the help. My mom and I are trying the best we can between us. She’s not even my mom’s mom. She died in 2008.

I appreciate all the helpful tips but would really appreciate if the judgemental comments could come to a stop.

Wow! I don't think I have any helpful response to dealing with a daily routine like the one mentioned here. But I have learned something very helpful - I didn't know that you shouldn't wake a person with Alzheimer's, especially if you are in a rush to get somewhere. My mother-in-law had finally been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few months ago but still wishes to live in the South in a CCRC where it is warmer. On our most recent visit, everything was going fine with no odd outbursts during the week, as my husband and I did everything to slow down our pace, make sure to look directly into her eyes to be sure she could comprehend what we were saying and to ask her or include her in everything before we did it, to keep her part of any decisions during the day. All went very well for the three of us. And then, the very morning we had to catch a 7:30 a.m. airport shuttle, she had awoken in the middle of the night and came into our room thinking we had left without saying goodbye. We assured her that we still had a few more hours to sleep. And at 6 am I got up to get dressed and ready, but didn't wake her until 7, and which point we were rushing to finish the last bit of packing and thought we were doing her a favor as we had for years in the past -- stripping the bed and putting the sheets in the wash, to be dried later (she used to do it when she was well, but I thought her helper could take over for this). She became very angry, thinking we were leaving things a mess, and then, even accused me of moving around her floral arrangement by the door and walking on her bed to move around the dozen or so photos above her bed... it was the strangest accusation ever had. Usually I am very calm and non-reactive but due to the impending departure, I responded, "Why in the world would I want to move your photos around?" and she quickly retorted, "Yes, why WOULD YOU?" I was totally floored by the absurdity of it all; it's one thing to be scolded for doing something wrong, but in this case, it was nothing I would even think of doing. We packed everything up and nothing was left out of place, but her caregiver said she was very angry hours after we left. Just wow, it boggles the mind and there is no arguing and wasting energy on it. But now I know why. Even the last departing minutes still have to be carefully planned. NO EARLY MORNING FLIGHTS from now on until she has awakened herself at a decent hour! So I too, had waited till the last 30 minutes before we left to awaken her, and she got all strange on me...I hadn't seen her like that for months! (She had spent 6 weeks with us up north, and we saw her again about 6 weeks after that, for a week...) Maybe she does need more time getting up...but I know my MIL doesn't like to be rushed, nothing can be done with her on a normal "Working Person's" schedule. I am between jobs now and can slow everything down to her pace. There were a lot of problems when I was trying to help her before that, when I was working full-time and had other side activities as well.

I have absolutely hate to be wakened up with "time to get up !" full of fake cheer or even have my name spoken. So my husband rubs my leg or taps it.

I also dont like to fall asleep in the chair and have him tell me i need to go to bed ... since then i wake up and just lie in bed wondering why im still not in the chair where i was sleeping peacefully.

Grrrrrr !

The TV can make a good alarm clock for some people. My mother wakes in 10 minutes or so when the morning news shows are turned on (voices) in her room.

If she is sensitive to light, you might try a SunRise alarm. You connect it to a lamp in the room and it gradually brightens over 30 minutes or so just like the sun. It can be set to come on at the same time each day. This gradual brightening of the room helps the body wake.